A man walks into a jewellers shop

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1. A dog walks into a butcher shopA dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter ... Читать далее...
2. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and ... Читать далее...
3. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impedimentThere was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked «Could I have a fucket please?» The assistant asked»Pardon sir?». «Can I have a fucket please?» Replied the man. ... Читать далее...
4. Man walks into a supermarket and buysMan walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner The girl at the checkout looks at him and says «Single are you?» The man replies very sarcastically «How did you ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы close up shop[close up shop] {v. phr.} 1. To shut a store at the end of a day’s business, also, to end a business. The grocer closes up shop at 5 o’clock. After 15 years in business at the same spot, the garage closed up shop. 2. {informal} To stop some activity; finish what you are doing. ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод идиомы close up shop / shut up shop, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: close up shop / shut up shop Перевод: закрывать лавочку, свернуть дело (временно или навсегда) Пример: I can’t make any money in this town. The time has come to close up shop and move to another town. У меня не получается ничего заработать в этом городке. Пришло время закрываться и переезжать в другой городок....
7. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
8. A guy was driving down the road in his YugoA guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, «Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?» The ... Читать далее...
9. A duck in the shopA duck walks into a shop and asks the manager: -Got any fresh fruit? -No. -Got any fresh vegetables? -No. We have only dry goods. The next day the duck returns: -Got any fresh fruit? -No. -Got any fresh vegatables? -No. I told you yesterday, we have only dry goods. If you come back tomorrow ... Читать далее...
10. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
11. Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cutCronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова shopShop — магазин, лавка, буфет; ходить по магазинам Перевод слова Close up a shop — закрыть магазин coffee shop hours — время работы кафе to keep a shop — иметь магазин She works in a Shop. Она работает в магазине. It’s not available in the Shops. Этого нет в магазинах. Many people now Shop online. ... Читать далее...
13. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
14. Edward walks out of a barEdward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. «Can I help you, fella?», asks the cop. «Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!» Edward replies. The cop asks, «Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?». «It ... Читать далее...
15. The Barber ShopThis guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, «How long before I can get a haircut?» The barber looks around the shop and says, «About 2 hours.» The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, «How long before I can get a ... Читать далее...
16. A guy walks into a post officeA guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing «Love» stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes ... Читать далее...
17. This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stopThis old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop. An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over and says he’ll give her a ride home. On the way he looks her over and says «You’re a pretty good looking old broad. I’ll ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы closed shop[closed shop] {n. phr.} 1. A plant or factory that employs only union workers. Our firm has been fighting the closed shop policy for many years now. 2. A profession or line of work dominated by followers of a certain mode of thinking and behaving that does not tolerate differing views or ideas. Certain groups ... Читать далее...
19. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
20. A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shopA tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. «Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,» says the shop ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы open shop[open shop] {n. phr.} A factory or firm that employs both union andnon-union labor. The firm refuses to adopt an open shop policy. Contrast: CLOSED SHOP....
22. A man enters a barber shop for a shaveA man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. «I have just the thing,» says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. «Just place this between your cheek and gum.» The ... Читать далее...
23. Giuseppi walks into work, and he saysGiuseppi walks into work, and he says, «Ey, Tony! You know who’s-a George Washington?» Tony says, «No, Giuseppi, who’s-a George Washington?» He says, «Hah! George-a Washington’s the first-a President of — a United States. I’m-a go to night school, learn all about-a United States, and become-a U. S.-a citizen.» A couple of days later, Giuseppi ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова cockCock — петух; драчун, заводила Перевод слова Fighting cock — бойцовый петух cock of the school — первый драчун в школе old cock — дружище, старина We sat till the second Cock. Мы сидели до вторых петухов. A Cock crowed in the distance. Вдалеке кукарекал петух. The Cock crowed as the sun began to rise. ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы talk shop[talk shop] {v. phr.}, {informal} To talk about things in your workor trade. Two chemists were talking shop, and I hardly understood aword they said....
26. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
27. Фразовый глагол shop around — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: shop around Перевод: прицениваться, ходить по магазинам и сравнивать цены, качество, и т. п. Пример: It’s always wise to shop around before buying anything. Всегда целесообразно прицениться перед тем, как что-либо покупать....
28. A woman walks into a tattoo parlourA woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы all walks of life[all walks of life] {n. phr.} All socioeconomic groups; all professions and lines of work. A good teacher has to be able to communicate with students from all walks of life. A clever politician doesn’t alienate people from any walk of life....
30. The Amazing Flying DogA woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, «I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just get him.» With that, he disappears into ... Читать далее...
31. A panda bear walks into a restaurantA panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying ... Читать далее...
32. A duck walks into a general storeA duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,»Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. We have only canned and dry goods.» The next day, the duck returns. «Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If ... Читать далее...
33. The Plumber has arrivedA lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s ... Читать далее...
34. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод идиомы talk shop, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: talk shop Перевод: говорить о работе Пример: Everybody at the company gathering decided that they would not talk shop during the dinner. На собрании компании все решили, что во время ужина не будут говорить о работе....
36. The MohelThis woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn’t read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, «Madam, I ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы bull in a china shop[bull in a china shop] {n. phr.} A rough or clumsy person who says or does something to anger others or upset plans; a tactless person. We were talking politely and carefully with the teacher about a class party, but John came in like a bull in a china shop and his rough talk made ... Читать далее...
38. Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop whenTwo blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, «Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!» The girls stop and look at each other. «Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!»...
39. Перевод слова trousersTrousers — брюки, штаны Перевод слова Skiing trousers — лыжные брюки to take off trousers — снимать брюки to wear trousers — носить брюки The Trousers are a bit on the small side. Эти брюки маловаты. The Trousers had patches all over them. Штаны были все в заплатках. I could cut your father’s Trousers down ... Читать далее...
40. A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condomA man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again ... Читать далее...