A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table

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1. Dining at a Restaurant I (Fast)Well, I love going out to restaurants to eat. One of the best experiences I’ve had recently was at a place here in Los Angeles called Il Fornaio. It’s an Italian restaurant in a very nice part of Beverly Hills. I don’t go there very often-I can’t really afford it, but every once in a ... Читать далее...
2. A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurantA stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: «Sir! Please stop that immediately.» «Certainly, madame,» replies the waiter with a bow, ... Читать далее...
3. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
4. A panda bear walks into a restaurantA panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying ... Читать далее...
5. Bill and Hillary are at a restaurantBill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,» Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?» he asks. Oh, He’ll have the fish,» Hillary replies....
6. Dining at a Restaurant II (Fast)I love coming to this Italian restaurant. The appetizers and desserts are To die for. When the waiter came to our table To take our order, my friend ordered a lobster ravioli dish, and I ordered my favorite, lasagna. The waiter then asked us, «Would you like a Soup or salad with that?» My friend ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова efficiencyEfficiency — результативность, продуктивность, производительность Перевод слова The efficiency of labour — производительность труда efficiency expert — специалист по научной организации труда the machine is not working at its highest efficiency — машина работает не на полную мощность She acted with speed and Efficiency. Она действовала быстро и эффективно. He did the work with his ... Читать далее...
8. Finding a Chinese JewSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. «Sid,» asked Al, «are there any Jews in China?» «I don’t know,» Sid replied. «Why don’t we ask the waiter?» When the waiter came by, Al asked him, «Are there any Chinese Jews?» «I don’t know sir, let me ask,» the waiter replied, and he went ... Читать далее...
9. A Problem with a Restaurant CheckI waved my hand To get the waiter’s attention. Waiter: Yes? Leslie: The Check, please. Waiter: Would you like any Dessert, or some tea or coffee? Leslie: No, just the check. Thanks. Waiter: Here you are. I’ll Ring that up for you when you’re ready. Leslie: Thank you. Oh, there seems to be a Mistake ... Читать далее...
10. A delicacyAn American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, «What is that you just served?» The waiter replied, » ... Читать далее...
11. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th childA woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. «Congratulations,» said the nurse, «but don’t you think this is enough?» The woman replied, «Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.»...
12. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
13. Expresso and a syringeThis guy goes into a restaurant. He’s a little more than strung out from lack of sleep. The waiter asked for his order. Trying to be funny he asked the waiter for a hit of his best heroin. Struggling to keep a straight face. The waiter says,»I’m sorry sir, we’re all out». «In that case ... Читать далее...
14. Spain JokesSpanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. «These, senor,» replied the waiter in broken English, «are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today.» The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the ... Читать далее...
15. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
16. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Заказ (бронирование) столика в ресторане» (Booking a table in a restaurant)— Hello. Pizzeria Tricolore. Can I help you? — Hello. I would like to book a table, please. — What day and what time do you want to come? — Tomorrow evening at 7 p. m. Do you have any free tables? — Yes, we do. We have a couple of tables available for tomorrow. ... Читать далее...
17. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinnerTwo nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies «Oh Sister, those are nuts.» She answers «Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?» «No. The kind you rock on a crack.»...
18. Перевод слова restaurantRestaurant — ресторан Перевод слова Buffet restaurant — ресторанчик, работающий по системе «шведский стол» decent restaurant — приличный ресторан to dine at a restaurant — обедать в ресторане We had dinner at a local Restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. That Restaurant was a real find! Тот ресторан был настоящей находкой! The Restaurant opened earlier ... Читать далее...
19. Discovering too late that aDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. «Quick, man,» he whispered to the waiter, «what did they say?» «Nothing,» replied the waiter. «They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.»...
20. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
21. Making a Restaurant ReservationHostess: Thank you for calling Sakia Restaurant. How may I help you? Randy: I’d like to make a Reservation. Hostess: For which day and for what time? Randy: It’s for Friday, the 24th, at 7 o’clock. Hostess: How many will be in the party? Randy: There will be seven of us. Hostess: And the name ... Читать далее...
22. A manager of a restaurant had called its ownerA manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. «She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,» said the manager. «All right, so hire her,» the owner replied.»But, sir…» «I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong ... Читать далее...
23. Jack goes to the doctor and saysJack goes to the doctor and says «Doc I’m having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?» After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, «Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you unless you’re willing to try ... Читать далее...
24. Setting the TableWilliam: This is a very special dinner. It’s not everyday that I have my bosses over for dinner. It has to be perfect. Martha: I know. Why do you think I took out our best China? Instead of worrying, why don’t you help me Set the table? William: Right. I should make myself useful. Is ... Читать далее...
25. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «В ресторане (At the Restaurant)»По-английски Перевод на русский Andrew: Julia, what do think if we go out for dinner tonight? Эндрю: Джулия, что ты думаешь, если мы поужинаем вне дома сегодня вечером? Julia: Sounds fantastic! Which restaurant do you want to go to? Джулия: Здорово! В какой ресторан ты хочешь пойти? Andrew: While driving home yesterday, I saw one ... Читать далее...
26. Cops: Would-be robbers nabbed after restaurant owner says ‘come back’, and they doTwo men made it easy for authorities to catch them after they tried to hold up a West Rogers Park restaurant using a squirt gun but were told by the owner to return in an hour, officials said. When Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went back to the restaurant on the 6400 block ... Читать далее...
27. An elderly woman entered a large furniture storeAn elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. «Is there something in particular I can show you?» he asked. «Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.» «You mean a sectional sofa,» he suggested. «Sectional schmectional.» she bitterly retorted. «All I want is an occasional piece in ... Читать далее...
28. A man and wife entered aA man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, «I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.» You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her ... Читать далее...
29. Eating at a Casual RestaurantRussell: Why aren’t you eating? Is there Something the matter with your food? Nadia: No, the food is fine. Russell: What’s wrong? Nadia: I’m not sure How to put this. I really like going to Diners and Hole in the walls with you, and I love Mom and pop restaurants as much as you do. ... Читать далее...
30. Constantly complainingA customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour., Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы clean hands[clean hands] {n. phr.}, {slang} Freedom from guilt or dishonesty; innocence. John grew up in a bad neighborhood, but he grew up with clean hands. There was much proof against Bill, but he swore he had clean hands....
32. Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollarsWeill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes. Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the business failed. Weill and ... Читать далее...
33. The Microsoft waiterPatron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it ... Читать далее...
34. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова tableTable — стол; таблица Перевод слова A cloth for table use — обеденная скатерть table manners — умение вести себя за столом to compile a table — составлять таблицу from under the table — из-под стола The Table was set fairly. Стол был чудесно сервирован. Put the book on the Table! Положите книгу на стол. ... Читать далее...
36. One day Clinton goes to the bathroomOne day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, «I cant figure out what it is. So I’ll give you some medicine, and if it doesn’t work, ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы table[table] See: AT THE TABLE or AT TABLE, COFFEE TABLE, PUT ONE’SCARDS ON THE TABLE or LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, TURN THE TABLES, WAIT AT TABLE or WAIT ON TABLE....
38. Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penisLorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car travelling in the opposite direction. «Shit,» said the driver to his passenger. «What kind ... Читать далее...
39. В ресторане/ At A RestaurantНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык At A Restaurant В ресторане I enjoy eating out. We often go to a restaurant with my parents. It usually happens at weekend or Friday evenings, when everybody is free from work and studies. My mum likes Italian food: pasta with different sauces, pizza, lasagne and other national ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы catch with one’s pants down[catch with one’s pants down] {v. phr.}, {slang} To surprise someone in an embarrassing position or guilty act. They thought they could succeed in the robbery, but they got caught with their pants down. When the weather turned hot in May, the drive-in restaurant was caught with its pants down, and ran out of ice ... Читать далее...