A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center

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1. A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,” said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough?” The woman replied, “Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.”...
2. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, […]...
3. A woman visits her physician A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: “Well, what can I do for you madam?”. The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: “You can discuss any matter with […]...
4. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I […]...
5. Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. “Why are you crying?” asked the other child. “I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.” When he heard this, the other child started to cry. “Why are you crying?” “I’m here for a urine test.”...
6. Donating an Organ Christine: What is this Sticker on your Driver’s license? Saul: This sticker? It Indicates that I’ve signed up for the Organ donation program. If anything bad happens to me, I want my organs to go to Recipients who need them. Christine: You mean you want somebody else to have your Heart, Liver… Saul: …eyes, Kidneys, […]...
7. What’s the definition of the perfect woman? Ok, I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one… What’s the definition of the perfect woman? She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold […]...
8. Значение идиомы waiting list [waiting list] {n.} A list of persons waiting to get into something. The nursery school enrollment was complete, so thedirector put our child’s name on the waiting list. The landlordsaid there were no vacant apartments available, but that he would putthe Rogers’ name on the waiting list....
9. An American woman and an Iranian woman An American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, “These remind me of my husband’s testicles.” The American woman says, “That big?” The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.”...
10. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband – he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. “Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.” “But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. “He sleeps with his mouth open, […]...
11. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
12. Перевод слова center Center – центр Перевод слова Documentation center – центр информационного обслуживания donor center – донорский центр plumb to the center – прямо в яблочко Her entire attention Centered on her children. Все ее внимание сосредоточено на ее детях. The water deepens toward the Center of the river. Вода углубляет к центру реки. She was the […]...
13. A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move – I’ll be right back.” When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t […]...
14. Two men and one woman Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 […]...
15. Wrong card At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, “No.” A clerk came over and asked, “May I help you?” “I don’t know,” said the woman. “Do you have any ‘Sorry I laughed at your dick’ cards?”...
16. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy […]...
17. Значение идиомы waiting room [waiting room] {n. phr.} The sitting area in a doctor’s, lawyer’s, accountant’s, etc. office, or in a hospital, or other workplace, wherepeople wait their turn. Some doctor’s offices have elegantlyfurnished waiting rooms with magazines, newspapers, and coffee for thepatients....
18. Значение идиомы play a waiting game [play a waiting game] {v. phr.} To withhold action until one’schances for success improve. Ray would like to be vice president ofthe company so he is playing a waiting game in the hope that thepresident will soon recognize his abilities....
19. Waiting for a Man or Woman to Call Lyla: Okay, here’s a Hypothetical. You ask a girl for her Number, but wait two weeks to call her. What gives? George: Well, that Depends. Why? Lyla: Well, I met this guy two weeks ago at a party. We spent the entire evening talking and I thought we really Hit it off. We had a […]...
20. Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her […]...
21. Значение идиомы dead center [dead center] {n.} The exact middle. The treasure was buried in the dead center of the island. Often used like an adverb. The arrow hit the circle dead center....
22. Значение идиомы shopping center [shopping center] {n.} A place usually for neighborhood shopping, where there is a group of stores and shops inside of a large parkinglot. There is a bowling alley at the nearest shopping center. All the stores in our shopping center stay open until nine o’clock onFriday evenings....
23. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
24. Sweden Blood Bank Texts Donors To Notify Them Whenever Their Blood Helps Save A Life Though technology may seem like a lifeline for many people today, for Sweden’s blood bank, it is exactly that. Sweden’s blood service notifies donors via text message whenever their blood is used, The Independent reports. The initiative aims to raise awareness for the need for blood donation, which has recently been on the decline. “We […]...
25. Перевод слова woman Woman – женщина Перевод слова A woman with history – женщина с прошлым a woman of great insight – необыкновенно проницательная женщина likely young woman – привлекательная молодая женщина man born of woman – смертный The mugger assaulted the Woman. Грабитель напал на женщину. She is a very determined Woman. Она очень решительная женщина. She […]...
26. 3 pregnant women were waiting 3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies. Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one… “What was that?”, the other two ask, curiously. “Calcium tablet. Good […]...
27. The Story of the Bats Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.” “We’re new here,” says the second one. “It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.” The first […]...
28. Значение идиомы off-center [off-center] {adj.}, {informal} Different from the usual pattern;not quite like most others; odd. Roger’s sense of humor was a bitoff-center. Compare: OFF-KEY....
29. A divorced woman had been on her own for several months A divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while there starting eyeing the bag boy. On the way out to the car she decided to make her move. Leaning over to the boy she whispered,” You know, I’ve […]...
30. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
31. A fellow in a bar notices a woman A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you,” she said politely.” “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That […]...
32. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m […]...
33. A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, “I’m […]...
34. Stuck orgasm A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They’re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure – she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this […]...
35. A tall woman met a midget at a party A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. “I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,” said the woman, “especially with the size […]...
36. Значение идиомы front and center [front and center] {adv.}, {slang} Used as a command to a person togo to someone who wants him. Front and center, Smith. The bosswants to see you....
37. A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder. Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder…I’ll sleep with you.” Guy says: “An alligator?” Woman says: “Close enough”...
38. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with […]...
39. Donating Blood Michelle: Did you hurt yourself? Gabriel: No, why? Michelle: You have a Band-Aid on your arm. Gabriel: Oh, that. I Donated blood today. Michelle: You did? That’s great. I’d like to donate blood, but every time I get close to a Needle, I feel Light-headed. I’m afraid if I Go through with it, and they […]...
40. The people are waiting Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. “Please fill this immediately,” she asked. “I’ve got people waiting in my car!”...