A little girl was walking along a beach in California

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1. A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the […]...
2. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
3. This black guy is walking along a beach when This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he’ll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a […]...
4. Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!...
5. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl. “Alright,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.” “No, not me,” said the girl. “it’s my old aunt here.” “Very well,” said the doctor. “Madam, stick […]...
6. Значение идиомы beach bunny [beach bunny] {n.}, {slang} An attractive girl seen on beaches – mostly to show off her figure; one who doesn’t get into the water and swim. What kind of a girl is Susie? – She’s a beach bunny; She always comes to the Queen’s Surf on Waikiki but I’ve never seen her swim....
7. Перевод слова beach Beach – пляж, морской берег Перевод слова Beach gravel – береговой галечник sandy beach – песчаный пляж beach umbrella – пляжный зонт We walked along the Beach. Мы шли вдоль берега. We picnicked on the Beach. Мы устроили пикник на пляже. We spent the day at the Beach. Мы провели весь день на пляже. Интересные […]...
8. A poor little girl was begging in the street A poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, “Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.” The man answers, astonished, “Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?” “I’m eight, sir.” “Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?” “Since I […]...
9. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?” The New York girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.” The […]...
10. Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top of […]...
11. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. […]...
12. Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii. As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, “Look at the legs among that group.” “Sorry old chap.” replied the second doctor. “But I’m a chest man myself.”...
13. A young girl had not been feeling well A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. “Young lady,” the doctor began, “you’re pregnant.” “But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.” “Well my dear,” said the doctor, “someone in that colony is […]...
14. A little girl was out with her Grandmother A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. “What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.” They’re […]...
15. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
16. A little girl was playing up a tree near a church A little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and […]...
17. Перевод слова asleep Asleep – спящий Перевод слова To be asleep – спать to fall asleep – заснуть to lull a child asleep – укачивать ребенка She was still Asleep at noon. В полдень она все еще спала. “Are you Asleep?”No, I’m awake.” “Ты спишь?”Нет, я проснулся.” She fell Asleep over her work. Она заснула за работой....
18. A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?” The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.” His friend says, “You […]...
19. When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.. I […]...
20. A little girl and a little boy were at day care A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no […]...
21. Перевод слова girl Girl – девочка, девушка Перевод слова Cool girl – клевая, классная девчонка eleven-year-old girl – одиннадцатилетняя девочка lovely girl – красивая девушка She is my best Girl. Она – моя возлюбленная. We had a little Girl. У нас была маленькая дочка. That Girl’s got class! Классная девчонка! Интересные факты Spice Girls – британская женская поп-группа, […]...
22. Barry took a girl out on her first date Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, “My mother told me to say no to everything.” “Well,” Barry said, “do you mind if I put my arm around you?” “No,” the girl replied. “Do you mind if I put my […]...
23. Значение идиомы girl Friday [girl Friday] {n.} A very dependable and helpful female officeworker; especially a secretary. Miss Johnson is the manager’s girlFriday. There was an advertisement in the newspaper for a girlFriday....
24. A girl runs home to her mother crying A girl runs home to her mother crying, “I can’t marry Joe! He’s an atheist! He doesn’t believe in God or Jesus or anything! “Don’t worry, Honey,” said her mom. “But Mom, he doesn’t even believe in Hell! “Don’t worry, Honey,” repeated her mom, “you marry him…and we’ll convince him!”...
25. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. “Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?” The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. […]...
26. A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn’t there, and she doesn’t want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital insists that the babies must be named by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louie overhears this and he names them (unbeknowst to the […]...
27. Значение идиомы girl friend [girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
28. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
29. A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little […]...
30. GIRL’S CONFESSION GIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. “So me and my cousin were alone in the house,” she continued, “and went up to my bedroom…” “Go on, my child,” said the priest gently. “I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on […]...
31. There is a child molester and a young boy walking through There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says, “Mister i’m scared and cold, please let me go”,the child molester cries out, “You think your scared I have to walk home alone!”...
32. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said “you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too […]...
33. An old man is sitting on the park bench crying An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what’s the problem?” The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, “I’ve got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment […]...
34. A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. “My life is a mess, doctor,” she began, “I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?” “Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start […]...
35. A girl goes to the doctor A girl goes to the doctor. She says, “Doc, I’m freakin’ out…I’m freakin’ out…my pee’s coming out in four streams.” He says, “Get up on the table and I’ll see what I can do.” She gets up on the table, and as he’s examining her, he starts to giggle. She says, “It’s not funny. My […]...
36. Значение идиомы working girl [working girl] {n.}, {slang} 1. Aprostitute. I didn’t know Roxanne was a working girl. 2. A girl, usually single, who supports herself by working in an honest job, suchas in an office, etc. The average working girl can’t afford such afancy car....
37. Pessimist and a dog An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to […]...
38. Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, “What’s wrong? What’s the emergency?” “Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have some terrible news for you. It’s disfigured.” “Well, how bad is it? Can I see?” “Follow me, sir.” They head down a restricted corridor and come to the first door. Inside, in […]...
39. A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that […]...
40. A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]...