A good student

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1. Clinton country A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go’s on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, “There’s a horses ass” A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said […]...
2. ZipperGate Update In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor’s […]...
3. Love handles One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out. “Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me, […]...
4. Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had....
5. Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: – Nobody would know about her if it weren’t for Bill – She sucks – She blows – She’s bloated – She’s the focus of a huge legal battle – She’ll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?...
6. Famous Quotes One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up […]...
7. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
8. Перевод слова student Student – студент, курсант Перевод слова Student-curated exhibition – выставка, организованная студентами student demonstration – студенческая демонстрация student driver – лицо, обучающееся вождению She was an average Student. Она была обычной студенткой. Assign each Student a partner. Назначьте каждому студенту напарника. He is a Student of the occult. Он изучает оккультизм....
9. Winnie The???? “Winnie The????” It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she […]...
10. Candidate Clinton vs President Clinton Candidate Bill Clinton: Cut taxes for middle class President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise them Candidate Bill Clinton: Vowed not to tamper with Social Security President Bill Clinton: Wants to tax more SS benefits Candidate Bill Clinton: Proposed energy tax cuts President Bill Clinton: Wants energy tax increases Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed he had the […]...
11. President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”. She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks […]...
12. One day there were these three boys walking down One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’ When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. […]...
13. Student Proverbs A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. As you shall make your bed so shall you……….mess it up. Better be safe than………………….punch a 5th grader. Strike while the…………………………bug is close. It’s always […]...
14. A psychology student at a local university A psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital. The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered “When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro.” […]...
15. Little Johnny was in class again Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand.”The sky is definitely blue.” “Thats not bad, Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try […]...
16. Teaching Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: “What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?” The […]...
17. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Между студентом и преподавателем/ Between Student And Teacher” По-английски Перевод на русский Student: Good morning. Студент: Доброе утро. Teacher: Good morning. Have a sit, please. I’ll be back in a minute. Преподаватель: Доброе утро. Присаживайтесь, пожалуйста. Я вернусь через минутку. Student: Thank you. Студент: Спасибо. Teacher: So, whats’s your name? Преподаватель: Итак, как вас зовут? Student: My name is George. Студент: Меня зовут […]...
18. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Учитель и ученик (Teacher And Student)” По-английски Перевод на русский Teacher: Sit down, Pete. Have you brought your textbooks with you? Учитель: Садись, Пит. Ты принес с собой учебники? Student: Yes, I have, Mrs. Forester. Ученик: Да, миссис Форестер. Teacher: Do you know why I asked you to stay after the classes today? Учитель: Ты знаешь, почему я тебя попросила задержаться […]...
19. Bad news and awful news One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads “I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”. Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “I hope you get impeached” […]...
20. Young naval student A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. “What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, sir,” the student replied. “What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?” “Throw out another anchor, sir.” “And if another terrific […]...
21. Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sitting Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sitting in a helicopter and Bill starts to think. He sits there for about 15 minutes and finally Hillary asks why he is looking so sad. He says, “I just was wondering what I could do for the poor countries.” “Well ” says Chelsea, “you could throw […]...
22. Business is business A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?” A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the […]...
23. Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208 Dear Friend; We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D. C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was […]...
24. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Между учителем и учеником (Between Teacher And Student)” По-английски Перевод на русский Teacher: Good afternoon, David. Did you come to talk about your last test? Учитель: Добрый день, Дэвид. Ты пришел поговорить о своем последнем тесте? Student: Good afternoon, Mrs. Sanders. Yes, my mum is very upset that I didn’t pass it. She wants me to try and retake it. Ученик: Добрый день, […]...
25. Acronyms for Clinton Clinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation’s (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies Gore: (G)ennifer’s (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise Gore: (G)reatly […]...
26. Book shelf Monica Lewinsky’s tell-all book about her affair with the U. S. President has, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after its first day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News. To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, the Lewinksy book had three other titles […]...
27. Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, “Are you ready to order?” Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.” “A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is […]...
28. Defending Your Ideas at Work Monica: That’s why I don’t think it’s Doable. We should consider other ideas. … That was Monica. She’s my co-worker and my Nemesis. She Criticizes all of my ideas, but I’ve learned that the best Defense is to not get Defensive. … Kazuya: I appreciate your Feedback. I understand your Reservations, but let me show […]...
29. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, “A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.” One student stands up and says, “Professor, […]...
30. In the Sex Ed class the teacher says In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, “All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.” The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, “Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?” Johnny […]...
31. Ghosts in a White House One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” Clinton asked. “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. “Tom, […]...
32. Made in Canada President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried, “My people’s favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!” “Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power to ‘elp you,” replied the Prime Minister. “I do need your help,” […]...
33. Helping this country One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, “George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?” “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the […]...
34. Showing Off a New Purchase Monica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My […]...
35. Showing Off a New Purchase Monica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My […]...
36. The medical student was asked four reasons The medical student was asked four reasons why mother’s milk was better for babies than cow’s milk. This is the answer he submitted: 1. It’s fresher. 2. It’s cleaner. 3. The cats can’t get to it. 4. It’s easier to take on a picnic. He also added: “It comes in such cute containers.”...
37. When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.” The teacher smiled and said: […]...
38. Значение идиомы in hand [in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your […]...
39. Значение идиомы hand over [hand over] {v.} To give control or possession of; give to another person. When the teacher saw Johnny reading a comic bookin study period, she made him hand over the book. When Mr. Jonesgets old, he will hand over his business to his son. Syn.: FORK OVER, GIVE UP, TURN OVER....
40. From Us The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean? The little girl replies, “I love you.” The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class. The […]...