A dubious remedy

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1. A folk remedy A man’s wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman’s body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she […]...
2. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
3. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
4. Different Treatments A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded, “Yes, I am happy […]...
5. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. “Don’t worry,” he said, “Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.” So he went home feeling […]...
6. A henpecked husband A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, “From now […]...
7. Перевод слова pistol Pistol – пистолет, револьвер Перевод слова The butt of the pistol – рукоятка пистолета double-barrelled pistol – двуствольный пистолет to point a pistol at – целиться из пистолета в Don’t aim that Pistol at me! Не направляйте пистолет на меня! He waved a Pistol menacingly. Он угрожающе размахивал пистолетом. He had a Pistol with a […]...
8. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
9. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”. 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, […]...
10. A fair offer One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his […]...
11. Wife-taming method Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. […]...
12. A serious condition A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said […]...
13. Missing person Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is […]...
14. An Other one Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s […]...
15. A man comes to a doctor and A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?” “Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proud physician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You […]...
16. A wonderful exercise A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50’s, had a relatively minor heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The cardiologist said, “Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have […]...
17. Proffessional Acquantance A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, “Well, hello there Doc.” […]...
18. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
19. During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. “Doctor,” she replied shyly, “I just can’t undress in front of you.” “All right,” said the physician, “I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re through.” In a few moments, her voice rang out […]...
20. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
21. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife […]...
22. Better relationship A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.” “What’s the problem?” the docotor inquired. “Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.” […]...
23. This man got his prescription for Viagra This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, “I’ll be home in an hour.” “Perfect,” she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He […]...
24. My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The Dr said “which position do you use?” “Doggy style,” said dumb shit. “why don’t you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see if that works any better.” said the Dr. “We’ve tryed that” he said, “but […]...
25. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say […]...
26. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
27. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
28. Love to Death A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, […]...
29. In the back woods of Arkansas In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” […]...
30. Giving Birth in a Hospital It was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, […]...
31. A rural Frenchman was on trial A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, “Ah, m’sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?”...
32. A man went to the doctor for a check up A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, “How many times do you have sex per month?” “About two or three.” the man replied. “You should be doing better than that.” the doctor […]...
33. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
34. This man was having problems getting it up to have sex This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife’s pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his […]...
35. A Trip to the Jewelry Store My wife’s birthday was Coming up And I wanted to get her a special Present. She always tells me to not to Splurge on gifts for her but For once, I decided To pull out all the stops. I went to the Jewelry Store and began looking at all of the Display cases. I started […]...
36. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
37. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
38. Fluffy died This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow […]...
39. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
40. Best kind of sex A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best. He Replied, ” Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.”...