A couple of geezers were sitting

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1. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
2. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, whenThere is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says «Son do you remember that session I arranged for you ... Читать далее...
3. A guy was sitting in a bar when a strangerA guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, «If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?» «Hell no!» the guy said. The stranger then asked, «If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used ... Читать далее...
4. A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flyingA Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: «Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that ... Читать далее...
5. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their busTwo old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, «You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said «I know! I ... Читать далее...
6. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sittingGrandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, «Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?» Grandpa looks at him and says «No Johnny, I will not.» «But Grandpa, why?» asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. «Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова muscleMuscle — мышца, сила Перевод слова To have muscle — быть сильным man of muscle — силач to relax a muscle — расслаблять мускул temporal muscle — височная мышца Muscles ache. Мышцы болят. He pulled his Muscle in the game. Во время игры он растянул мышцу. Muscle tension can be a sign of stress. Напряжение ... Читать далее...
8. A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big nightA couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night. The bride rolled over and said, «That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?» The husband replied «Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it.» «That’s nice honey» she replied, «What did it look ... Читать далее...
9. A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a barA man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. «Would you ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы on the bench[on the bench] 1. Sitting in a law court as a judge. JudgeWyzanski is on the bench this morning. 2. Sitting among thesubstitute players. The coach had to keep his star player on thebench with a sprained ankle. Compare: BENCH WARMER....
11. Three mice are sitting in a bar talkingThree mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, «I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.» And with ... Читать далее...
12. A couple, age 67, went to the doctors officeA couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, «What can I do for you?» The man said, «Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?» The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, «There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.» And he then charged ... Читать далее...
13. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important toThis fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова benchBench — скамья Перевод слова Garden bench — скамейка в саду small bench — скамеечка, табурет bench mark — исходный пункт, исходные базисные данные We sat on a park Bench. Мы сидели на скамейке в парке. He photographed the women sitting on the Bench. Он фотографировал женщин, сидящих на скамейке. Our team has a strong ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод идиомы at one sitting / in one sitting, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: at one sitting / in one sitting Перевод: за один раз, в один присест Пример: We finished the food at one sitting. Мы все съели в один присест....
16. Three little old ladies, sitting on a park benchThree little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had a little stroke. The third little old lady would have had a stroke…………….but her arms weren’t quite long enough....
17. This rich couple were going out for the eveningThis rich couple were going out for the evening when the woman of the house decided to give the butler the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his night. Well, as it turned out the wife wasn’t having a good time at the ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы move a muscle[move a muscle] {v. phr.} To move even a very little. — Used innegative sentences and questions and with «if». The deer stoodwithout moving a muscle until the hunter was gone. The girls wereso startled that they did not move a muscle. You’re sitting rightwhere you were when I left! Have you moved a muscle? ... Читать далее...
19. An old man and an old woman were sittingAn old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,»You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked.» The woman said, «Why don’t we try that again?» So they stripped and sat down at the table again. ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова coupleCouple — пара, два, двое Перевод слова A couple of apples — два яблока in a couple of days — через два-три дня loving couple — любящая пара «Are they a Couple?»No, they are just good friends.» «Они пара?»Нет, они просто хорошие друзья.» They’re an odd Couple. Они странная парочка. We spent a Couple of ... Читать далее...
21. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
22. Two car salesmen were sitting at the barTwo car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, «Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking arse.» Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language. «That’s okay,» the blonde replied, «If ... Читать далее...
23. Seems this elderly couple went to the clinicSeems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,»Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!»...
24. Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
25. A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adoptA couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each ... Читать далее...
26. Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate HarryMick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. «Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then ... Читать далее...
27. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her motherOne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, «Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her ... Читать далее...
28. There was an old married couple that had happilyThere was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she ... Читать далее...
29. Two Texan are sitting in a small town barTwo Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: «You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister.» «Well,» his buddy replied, «between you and me we got ’em all.»...
30. Better than playing doctorLittle Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park. Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, «You wanna play doctor?» Johnny replied, «NO, that too old fashioned. Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.»...
31. The young immigrant couple had just left theThe young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. «It is wonderful,» the husband exclaimed. «We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?» «Yes, you male chauvinist pig,» his wife replied. «Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on ... Читать далее...
32. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
33. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinksThree women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, ... Читать далее...
34. I just ate those peanutsA man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes ... Читать далее...
35. You Can Never Really Go BackYou Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, «Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.» «Yeah,» she replied, «Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting ... Читать далее...
36. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
37. As US tourists in IsraelAs US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. «America,» the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the ... Читать далее...
38. A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hillA Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while; then the lass said, «A penny for your thoughts.» The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, «Well, I was thinkin’ how nice it would be if ye’d give me a ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы sitting pretty[sitting pretty] {adj.}, {slang} To be in a lucky position. Thenew library is sitting pretty because a wealthy woman gave it $10,000worth of reference books. Mr. Jones was sitting pretty until his$25,000-a-year job was dropped by the company....
40. On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were havingOn the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed ... Читать далее...