A bus filled with politicians was driving through the

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1. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditchA man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, «You know, you ... Читать далее...
2. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped byA juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. «What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?» asks the cop. «I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.» «Oh yeah?» says the doubtful cop. «Lets see you do it.» The juggler gets out and starts juggling ... Читать далее...
3. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the southMike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with ... Читать далее...
4. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the countrySeems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. «Sure,» said the farmer, «my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 ... Читать далее...
5. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain roadA man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, «Pig!» The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, «Bitch!» They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next ... Читать далее...
6. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-RoyceA guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!» The driver of Rolls looks ... Читать далее...
7. Harry and his wife are driving in the countryHarry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, «Cow For Sale…$5000.» He pulls in and says to the farmer, «There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.» The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.» He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees ... Читать далее...
8. Jones is driving past the state mental hospitalJones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for ... Читать далее...
9. Dangerous Freeway DrivingI do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in ... Читать далее...
10. Travel with a horseAn out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, «Pull, Nellie, pull!» Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, «Pull, Buster, pull!» Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer ... Читать далее...
11. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
12. Juggler, driving to his next performanceJuggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, ... Читать далее...
13. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
14. A ventriloquist was driving in the countryA ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he’d have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова nearbyNearby — ближний, поблизости, неподалеку Перевод слова Nearby farmhouse — соседняя ферма nearby galaxies — ближайшие галактики nearby trail — близкий след Do you live Nearby? Вы живете поблизости? There’s good sport to be had at a Nearby lake. На близлежащем озере можно хорошо порыбачить. Jews were expelled from Vienna, many to settle in the ... Читать далее...
16. A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhereA guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,»what the hell was that?». The truck driver replies, «some kinda animal, go back to sleep.» Further the same thing again, bang, «What the hell was that?», ... Читать далее...
17. A man is driving down the freewayA man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says; «Get gas and free sex here». So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. «Pick a number from 1 — 10 to get free sex.» said the cashier. «Uh, okay, 3!» the man replied. ... Читать далее...
18. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
19. It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agencyIt seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through ... Читать далее...
20. Want some chicken?A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken ... Читать далее...
21. Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
22. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
23. California Driving Test AnswersThe following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы fill out[fill out] {v.} 1. To put in what is missing; complete; finish;{especially}, to complete by writing the missing facts in the blank spaces; to write down factswhich are asked for in After Tom passedhis driving test he filled out an application for his driver’slicense. The policeman filled out a report of the accident. 2. Tobecome ... Читать далее...
25. A man is driving down the road for a long period of timeA man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,»Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. ... Читать далее...
26. A Hit-and-Run AccidentFlora: What happened to my car?! Saul: I saw it happen. A car came around the corner and hit the back of your car. Flora: Didn’t the driver stop? Saul: No, it was Hit-and-run. The driver just Took off. He was driving like A bat out of hell. It looks like he caused some Damage. ... Читать далее...
27. Driving in Great Britain — Вождение в ВеликобританииWelcome to the free Tourist Information Line for visitors to Great Britain. For information on visas and immigration, please press one. For information on driving in Britain, please press two. For information on hotels, please press three. For information on public transport in Britain, please press four. To return to this menu at any time ... Читать далее...
28. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
29. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
30. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulderA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, «Look mate, don’t ever ... Читать далее...
31. You could Feed them a lot FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would ... Читать далее...
32. Driving While Calling and TextingPamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t ... Читать далее...
33. A caring sonIt seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. «Hey Willis!!» the farmer yelled. «Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.» «That’s mighty nice of you, » Willis answered, «but I don’t think Pa would like ... Читать далее...
34. Taking the Driving TestCesar: I just took the Driving test. See this? That’s my new License. May: You have to give me the Play-by-play. I’m taking the test next week and I’m Freaking out. Cesar: There’s nothing to worry about. It was easy. May: I’m not worried about the written test. It’s the driving test I’m worried about. ... Читать далее...
35. Judi was bored with driving her BMWJudi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова sceneryScenery — вид, пейзаж, декорации, обстановка Перевод слова A change of scenery — перемена обстановки mountain scenery — горный ландшафт picturesque scenery — живописный пейзаж We paused briefly to look at the Scenery. Мы ненадолго задержалась, чтобы полюбоваться пейзажем. She designed the Scenery for the play. Она спроектировала декораций для спектакля. The billboards take away ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова horribleHorrible — жуткий, страшный, ужасный Перевод слова Horrible disease — страшное заболевание horrible wrong — ужасная несправедливость horrible weather — отвратительная погода horrible devastation — страшные разрушения It is Horrible to work there. Здесь отвратительно работать. Why are you so Horrible to me? Почему вы так ужасно относитесь ко мне? Her face was Horribly scarred. ... Читать далее...
38. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы be in the driving seat, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: be in the driving seat Идиома: be in the driving seat Перевод: находиться у руля, держать рычаги власти, иметь контроль над ситуацией Пример: The consumer is in the driving seat due to the huge range of goods on the market. Потребитель имел весь контроль над ситуацией из-за огромного выбора товаров на рынке....
40. Arguing about the signA man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks ... Читать далее...