Two male flies are buzzing around

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1. FliesA woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. «What are you doing?» She asked. «Hunting Flies» He responded. «Oh. Killing any?» She asked. «Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,» he replied. Intrigued, she asked. «How can you tell?» He responded, «3 were on a beer can, 2 were ... Читать далее...
2. Three college roommates — two females and a maleThree college roommates — two females and a male — began to argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. «All right,» one of the girls said, «the first one to speak has to do them.» The trio retired to the living room to watch TV. When their neighbor, a school ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова maleMale — мужчина, мужской, мужского пола Перевод слова Male voice choir — мужской хор male fern — мужской папоротник male midwife — акушер male pigeon — голубь-самец A Male duck is a drake. Самец утки — это селезень. The Male has a white breast. У самцов грудка белая. Does Christianity promote Male domination over women? ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы as the crow flies[as the crow flies] {adv. clause} By the most direct way; along a straight line between two places. It is seven miles to the next town as the crow flies, but it is ten miles by the road, which goes around the mountain....
5. Перевод идиомы as the crow flies, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: as the crow flies Перевод: самым прямым путем, как прямая линия между двумя точками, местами Пример: As the crow flies, it is about 6 kilometers between my house and my office. Прямой дорогой от моего дома до моей работы примерно 6 километров....
6. Пословица / поговорка time flies — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: time flies Перевод: время летит Пример: Time flies and before we had a chance to enjoy the summer weather it was already autumn. Время бежит, и прежде, чем мы смогли насладиться летней погодой, настала осень....
7. Are computers males or females? TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALEAre computers males or females? You decide. TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE: 5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection. 3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than ... Читать далее...
8. An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies byAn old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman’s head. «Yech!» says the woman. «Get some toilet paper.» «What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.»...
9. Перевод сленгового выражения cutie, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: cutie Перевод: красивая, симпатичная женщина или мужчина; симпатяга Пример: Why didn’t you go out with that girl? She’s such a cutie. Почему ты не пошел на свидание с этой девушкой? Она такая симпатяга....
10. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова pilePile — куча; свая, столб Перевод слова Bridge pile — свая моста built on piles — построенный на сваях pile of stones — груда камней pile of logs — штабель бревен A Pile of sandbags held the bridge. Груда мешков с песком поддерживала мост. Scrape the dead leaves together into a Pile. Соберите сухие листья ... Читать далее...
12. Ex-Police car jokeWe have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag races, drink beer etc. We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat, the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as many law enforcement agencies nationwide. (Actually our car WAS a state patrol car, but that’s ... Читать далее...
13. Differences in Male and Female FriendshipsLauren: Did you see what Stephanie was wearing? She looked like a wet dog! Quentin: Why do women do that? Lauren: Do what? Quentin: Why do women Put other women down? Is it to make themselves feel Superior? Lauren: It was only a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Quentin: Do you really think ... Читать далее...
14. A big birdOnce upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы pile-up[pile-up] {n.} 1. A heap; a deposit of one object on top ofanother. There is a huge pile-up of junked cars in this vacantlot. 2. A large number of objects in the same place, said of traffic. I was late because of the traffic pile-up on the highway....
16. Two doctors found themselves on the beach in HawaiiTwo doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii. As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, «Look at the legs among that group.» «Sorry old chap.» replied the second doctor. «But I’m a chest man myself.»...
17. A rather novel way toA policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. «So what’s going on here?» he asks. The bikie replies «My mate here has ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы hit the high spots[hit the high spots] {v. phr.} To consider, mention, or see onlythe more important parts of something such as a book, war, or schoolcourse. In his lecture, the speaker hit the high spots of hissubject. The first course in general science hits only the highspots of the physical sciences. The Bakers went to the fair ... Читать далее...
19. A man and a woman are sitting next to each otherA man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. «My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,» she said. «What a coincidence! My wife just left me,» said the man, «she ... Читать далее...
20. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has toJones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his ... Читать далее...
21. Guinea pig to become father to 400 after breaking into female enclosureRandy escaped his male only enclosure at Hatton Adventure World in Warwick and broke into the female-only area. Staff at Hatton Country World in Warwickshire couldn’t understand why they suddenly had 100 pregnant guinea pigs on their hands — until they released one of the male rodents had managed to escape his enclosure and infiltrate ... Читать далее...
22. Good fortuneA man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest ... Читать далее...
23. Granny’s genderA boy and a girl started quarreling after sitting half an hour with the «Animal world» book: -Yes she can! -No she can’t! -Yes she can! -No she can’t! Let’s go and ask granny! -Grandma, can you have children? -Oh no I can’t my dear! -I’ve told u she’s a male!...
24. Значение идиомы turn on[turn on] {v.} 1. To start by turning a knob or handle or working aswitch; cause to be on. Jack turned on the water. Who turnedthe lights on? 2. {informal} To put forth or succeed with as easilyas turning on water. She really turns on the charm when that newboy is around. 3. To attack. ... Читать далее...
25. An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ftAn Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: «Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..» The eagle says «what ... Читать далее...
26. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
27. There was a drunk man walking down the street turningThere was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, «Sir, what are you doing?» The drunk replied, «I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.» The police officer ... Читать далее...
28. While enjoying a drink with a mate one nightWhile enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into ... Читать далее...
29. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each otherA Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window ... Читать далее...
30. Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visitLittle Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, «What’s that, Miss?» Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, «That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.» Tommy thinks for a ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы high[high] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, FLYING HIGH, GO THROUGH HELLAND HIGH WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HIT THE HIGH SPOTS, LIVE HIGH OFFTHE HOG or EAT HIGH ON THE HOG, OFF ONE’S HIGH HORSE, ON TOP OF THEWORLD or SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD also SITTING ON HIGHCOTTON, RIDING HIGH....
32. Bank TellerBank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, «I want to open a fucking checking account». «Please sir», she replies, «we can’t have language like that in here.» «Why the Fuck not?» he asked. «Sir,» Came her retort, «I must ask you to refrain from swearing.» «I ... Читать далее...
33. CACTUSES AND DANCERThe eagle flies in the sky. The parachuetist flies towards him. -Hello, dancer!-said the eagle.- -Why dancer? I am a parachuetist,-said the man. -Have you heard then there are big cactuses growing here? You will learn to dance....
34. A defending attorney was cross examining a coronerA defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asks, «Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?» The coroner says, «No.» The attorney then asks, «Did you listen for a heart beat?» «No.» «So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure ... Читать далее...
35. An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sittingAn Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says ‘Have you ever been kissed?’ No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a while the Scotchman approaches her and says ‘Have you ever been fondled?’. She says no ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad ... Читать далее...
37. The Story of the BatsTwo vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, «Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.» «We’re new here,» says the second one. «It’s dark out, and we don’t know where to look. We’d better wait until the other bats go with us.» The first ... Читать далее...
38. Rabbits Ph. D. ThesisRabbit’s Ph. D. Thesis: A Parable for Graduate Students Scene: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox: «What are you working on?» Rabbit: «My thesis.» Fox: «Hmmm. What’s it about?» Rabbit: «Oh, I’m ... Читать далее...
39. Bathroom controlOne day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says «Hey Paco, you shit your pants?» Paco says «No, Pablo, I did not shit my pants.» He believes him and they keep riding. As they ... Читать далее...
40. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty yearsA farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. «No! I’m not doing it anymore!» ... Читать далее...