Two confirmed bachelors sat talking

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1. Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, “Do you ever get to feeling horny?” “Yes,” her friend replied. “What do you do about it?” “I usually suck on a Lifesaver.” After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, “Well, what beach do you go to?”...
2. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
3. There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son’s room and says “Son do you remember that session I arranged for you […]...
4. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”...
5. Значение идиомы talking point [talking point] {n.} Something good about a person or thing thatcan be talked about in selling it. The streamlined shape of the carwas one of its talking points. John tried to get Mary to dateBill. One of his talking points was that Bill was captain of thefootball team....
6. Перевод идиомы Now you’re talking!, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: Now you’re talking! Идиома: Now you’re talking! разг. Перевод: Вот это уже другой разговор! Неплохая идея! Пример: “Would you like pizza for dinner?” “Now you’re talking!” Хочешь пиццы на ужин? – Еще как!...
7. The talking dog A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbour said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.” Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. “Please […]...
8. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
9. Перевод слова fancy Fancy – воображение, фантазия; причудливый, необычный; нравиться, любить Перевод слова To have a lively fancy – иметь живое воображение the power of fancy – сила воображения fancy picture – фантастическая картина I don’t fancy this place at all – мне совсем не нравится это место Do you Fancy a beer? Ты любишь пиво? His plans […]...
10. A talking Frog A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back […]...
11. Перевод слова politics Politics – политика Перевод слова To be engaged in politics – заниматься политикой to go into politics – посвятить себя политической деятельности to play politics – вести политическую игру Politics doesn’t interest me. Политика меня не интересует. He was a failure in Politics. Он был неудачником в политике She abhors Politics. Она питает отвращение к […]...
12. It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through […]...
13. Two men were talking to each other about how pussy tastes Two men were talking to each other about how pussy taste. The first guy said”I think it taste like cherry pie”.The other guy said “I think it taste like shit”.Then the first guy said “you are supposed to turn her over”. $ $Sent by Don Chamberlin...
14. Two bikers were talking at a bar Two bikers were talking at a bar. “How’s married life?” asks the first. “It’s fine,” says the second. “How’s the sex?” asks the first. “Fine,” says the second, “At least I don’t have to wait in line!”...
15. Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team. “It’s fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents.” Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, “I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on […]...
16. Two young girls were talking about their sex lives Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, “Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep for a week.” “What happened.” Says her intrigued friend. “I didn’t know what I was going to […]...
17. Перевод слова conversation Conversation – разговор, беседа Перевод слова Conversation classes – занятия по разговорной практике to hold conversation – вести беседу, разговаривать heart-to-heart conversation – разговор по душам Do you remember our Conversation about that new movie? Вы помните наш разговор о новом фильме? We had a Conversation by e-mail. У нас был разговор по электронной почте. […]...
18. An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, […]...
19. There were these three morticians talking about There were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats. The first one says, “I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!” The next guy says, “oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run […]...
20. Two zebras are talking and one asks the other Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, “Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?” The other replies, “Well I don’t know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.” So that night he did and God replied, “You are what you are.” The next day he said […]...
21. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
22. Three mice are sitting in a bar talking Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]...
23. A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat […]...
24. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
25. Значение идиомы what’s up [what’s up] or [what’s cooking] also [what’s doing] {slang} What ishappening or planned; what is wrong. – Often used as a greeting. “What’s up?” asked Bob as he joined his friends. “Are you going tothe movies?” What’s cooking? Why is the crowd in the street? What’s doing tonight at the club? Hello Bob, what’s up? […]...
26. Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what??s been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked “How is she in bed?” First guy replies “She??s fantastic, she sucks […]...
27. Confirmed: Tinder Works in Antarctica “She was quite literally camping in Antarctica… and found me. It’s mind-blowing.” Say you’re a scientist, conducting research in Antarctica. Say it’s cold. Really cold. So, so cold. And lonely. Say, though, that you’ve brought a valuable piece of equipment with you on your trip: your smartphone. And say that-thanks to the life you lead […]...
28. Talking to ourselves: the science of the little voice in your head If we want to understand what’s happening in the brain when people’hear voices’, we first need to understand what happens during ordinary inner speech Most of us will be familiar with the experience of silently talking to ourselves in our head. Perhaps you’re at the supermarket and realise that you’ve forgotten to pick up something […]...
29. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, “Operator, giff me beck the party!” She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.” He says, “What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.” She […]...
30. Значение идиомы talking book [talking book] {n.} A book recorded by voice on phonograph recordsfor blind people. Billy, who was blind, learned history from atalking book....
31. A talking bird One man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. […]...
32. Being a Bachelor Iris: I’m thinking of inviting Simone and Jerry over for dinner. Alex: This isn’t another attempt at Matchmaking, is it? Jerry is a Confirmed bachelor and he’s not Looking to marry or become involved in a relationship. Iris: He’s not a confirmed bachelor. In this neighborhood with so many single women, he’s an Eligible bachelor. […]...
33. Значение идиомы clean [clean] See: COME CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, MAKE A CLEAN BREAST OF, NEW BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN, TAKE TO ONE’S HEELS, also SHOW A CLEAN PAIR OF HEELS....
34. Значение идиомы scare away [scare away] or [off] {v. phr.} To cause to flee; frighten away. Jake is a confirmed bachelor; the best way to scare him off is tostart talking about marriage....
35. Значение идиомы do up [do up] {v.} 1a. To clean and prepare for use or wear; launder. Ann asked her mother to do up her dress. 1b. To put in order; straighten up; clean. At camp the girls have to do up their own cabins. 2. To tie up or wrap. Joan asked the clerk to do up her […]...
36. Перевод слова clean Clean – чистый, опрятный; чистить Перевод слова Clean habits – чистоплотность clean puppy – приученный щенок clean wheat – пшеница без примеси This stove Cleans easily. Эта плита легко отмывается. The car needs a good Clean. Автомобиль нуждается в хорошей чистке. Make sure you keep the wound Clean. Следите, за тем чтобы рана была чистой....
37. The woman who invented chocolate chip cookies Ruth Graves Wakefield (June 17, 1903 – January 10, 1977) was the inventor of the Toll House Cookie, the first chocolate chip cookie, which she created c. 1938. She was also a graduate and educator, a business owner, a chef, and an author. Wakefield was educated at Framingham State Normal School Department of Household Arts […]...
38. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, […]...
39. What kind of clothes are there? What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirty Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes)....
40. A guy in a bar The bartender asks him “What’ll you have?”. The guy answers, “A scotch, please”. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars”, to which he replies “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this”. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You […]...