Too much attention

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1. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова batheBathe — купаться, мыть, купание Перевод слова It was too cold to bathe — для купания было слишком холодно to bathe one’s eyes — промывать глаза bathe face — умыться Is it safe to Bathe in this river? В этой реке можно купаться? We went for a Bathe in the sea. Мы пошли купаться на ... Читать далее...
3. Judy arrived home from her dateJudy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good time? «Oh», sighed Judy, «I had a wonderful time.» «I thought as much», her mother ... Читать далее...
4. Elderly romanceThere’s an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, «For five dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I’ll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I’ll take you to my ... Читать далее...
5. A veterinarian surgeonA veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ... Читать далее...
6. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergartenOne day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also ... Читать далее...
7. My BirthdayI was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing «Happy Birthday, dear Andy». They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people ... Читать далее...
8. A guy is stranded on an island with only aA guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There’s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he’s doing alright—but after a few months he gets «lonely», if you know what I mean. The pig starts to look more and more attractive—soft, pink flesh, ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы bum’s rush[bum’s rush] {n. phr.}, {slang} Throwing or pushing someone out from where he is not wanted. When John tried to go to the party where he was not invited, Bill and Fred gave him the bum’s rush. Tom became too noisy, and he got the bum’s rush. 2. To hurry or rush. The salesman tried ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы home[home] See: AT HOME, BRING HOME, BRING HOME THE BACON, CHICKENSCOME HOME TO ROOST, CLOSE TO HOME, CONVALESCENT HOME or NURSING HOMEor REST HOME, KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING, MAKE ONESELF AT HOME, NOBODY HOME, WRITE HOME ABOUT....
11. I just ate those peanutsA man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes ... Читать далее...
12. Buying a chainsawThis fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, «Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line ... Читать далее...
13. Read — it’s funAn elderly gentleman… Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова rushRush — спешка, натиск; бросаться, мчаться Перевод слова The bull rushed at him — бык бросился на него they rushed into the room — они ворвались в комнату a rush of wind — сильный порыв ветра a rush of customers — наплыв покупателей rush order — срочное требование Don’t Rush me, please! Не торопи меня, ... Читать далее...
15. A gentler wayAt the morning roll call at Fort Dix, the sergeant called out, «Platoon, atten-HUT! Private Martinez, report to the office. Your brother died last night.» The Chaplain, Rabbi Horowitz, looked on in horror. «Sergeant,» he said afterwards, «that’s a rather cruel and unfeeling way to break tragic news. We must be more gentle and less ... Читать далее...
16. A man is walking past this house when a used condomA man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock ... Читать далее...
17. Problems Getting Along With FamilyOscar: So you’re back from your mother’s birthday dinner. How was it? Priscilla: Same old, same old. It isn’t a family gathering without a major Meltdown or Blowup. Oscar: Yikes, what happened? Priscilla: You know how it is. It starts out with Bickering and somebody Taking offense at some Slight or Dig, or bringing up ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова chairChair — стул, трон Перевод слова Cane chair — плетеный стул easy chair — удобный стул rocking chair — кресло-качалка He sat down in a Chair. Он сел в кресло. A Chair made of cedar. Стул сделанный из кедра. I’ll get you a Chair. Я принесу вам стул....
19. A Family PartyI visit my Hometown about once a year. This year, I was In town for about five days and there was a family Get-together. It wasn’t a Family reunion since it was just my Immediate family, but still, there were a total of about 45 people who Showed up. Our family parties are always held ... Читать далее...
20. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girlThe wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. ... Читать далее...
21. My Daily ProgramI get up at 7 o’clock in the morning. I do my morning exercises, wash myself and dress. Then I have breakfast. At 8 o’clock I leave home and go to the Institute. As a rule I come to the Institute at a quarter to 9. The lessons begin at 9 sharp. Today we have ... Читать далее...
22. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decidedThe Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, «I’m off. The man should be here soon» Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the ... Читать далее...
23. Another costumeA guy goes into a costume shop. He says, «I’m going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam.» The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, «Not big enough.» She brings out a bigger one. He says, «Still not big enough.» She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, «Still ... Читать далее...
24. ‘If We Left, They Wouldn’t Have Nobody’Maurice Rowland (left) and Miguel Alvarez were working at an assisted living home last fall. When it shut down, Maurice -€- the cook -” and Miguel — the janitor -” stayed to take care of the residents left behind. When an assisted living home in California shut down last fall, many of its residents were ... Читать далее...
25. A use for ViagraA man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. «How are you grandpa?» he asks. «Feeling fine,» says the old man. «What’s the food like?» «Terrific, wonderful menus.» «And the nursing?» «Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.» «What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?» «No problem at ... Читать далее...
26. Atlanta JokesSome quick thoughts… 1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. 2. All directions start with, «Go down Peachtree…» and include the phrase, «When you see the Waffle House…» 3. Peachtree Street ... Читать далее...
27. British and American families — Британские и американские семьиBritish and American families are small. In fact the populations of both Britain and the USA have stopped growing. The typical family has a father, mother and two children. Grandparents come to visit, but do not usually live with their children. Most people get married between the ages of 20 and 23 but many marriages ... Читать далее...
28. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his motherA young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, «Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.» The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women ... Читать далее...
29. The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospitalThe medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, «Sol, I’m happy ... Читать далее...
30. My Week-day — Мой рабочий день (3)I am very busy on my week-days. My week-days do not differ much one from another. On week-days my working day begins early in the morning. My school starts at 8 o’clock, so I have to get up at 7, to be ready in time. I never wake up myself, my mother always wakes me ... Читать далее...
31. Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a LieutenantShortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound ... Читать далее...
32. Eating a Family DinnerMy roommate, Jim, invited me over to his house for a family meal. I’m an only child, so I’m not used to a big family dinner. I felt like a Fish out of water. … Jim’s mother: Sit down, everybody. Dinner’s ready. Phil: Thank you for Having me over, Mrs. Moreno. Jim’s mother: Don’t mention ... Читать далее...
33. Before the war — До войныThey lived in a small village of the Soviet Union. Their house was not big, but very beautiful and cosy. There was a big garden around this house. They usually walked and worked there. When Misha was seven, he went to school. He was a clever boy and he did very well. Misha had got ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы nurse a drink[nurse a drink] {v. phr.}, {informal} To hold a drink in one’s handat a party, pretending to be drinking it or taking extremely smallsips only. John’s been nursing that drink all evening....
35. I think I try a nicer approachEvery night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let ... Читать далее...
36. My Working Day (5)В топике Мой рабочий день (5) я рассказываю, как я провожу свой день. Утром, встав в 7 часов, я делаю зарядку, застилаю постель, умываюсь, одеваюсь, завтракаю и в 8 утра выхожу из дома. В школе уроки начинаются в 9 часов утра. После школы я возвращаюсь домой, обедаю в 3 часа дня, отдыхаю, выполняю домашнее задание ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы pay attention[pay attention] {v. phr.} To listen to someone; hear and understandsomeone alertly. «Pay attention, children!» the teacher cried,»Here is your homework for next week!»...
38. Перевод слова attentionAttention — внимание, внимательность Перевод слова To attract attention — привлекать внимание he is all attention — он весь внимание to deserve attention — заслуживать внимания I pay no Attention to hearsay. Я не обращаю внимания на слухи. Lift your head up and pay Attention. Подними голову и внимательно слушай. I am all Attention. Я ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова nurseNurse — медсестра, нянька, сиделка; ухаживать Перевод слова To nurse a fire — поддерживать огонь maternity nurse — акушерка mental nurse — сиделка в психиатрической лечебнице nurse’s area — пост медсестры The Nurse gave the patient an enema. Медсестра поставила больному клизму. He’s been Nursing an elderly relative. Он присматривает за престарелым родственником. I’m training ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова relativeRelative — родственник; относительный Перевод слова Relative position — относительное положение beauty is relative — красота — понятие относительное close relative — близкий родственник The donkey is a Relative of the horse. Осел — это родственник лошади. He’s been nursing an elderly Relative. Он присматривает за престарелым родственником. Nothing could be extracted from him Relative ... Читать далее...