This is what should happen to ALL CATS!

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1. Allergic to CatsWhen I was little, we had a family pet. His name was Jupiter and he was a Kitten. I wanted a cat more than anything else and finally, my parents Gave in and said that we could have one. We went to the Pound and saw dozens of cats of different Breeds. We went from ... Читать далее...
2. I’ve never understood why women love catsI’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, ... Читать далее...
3. Giving Cats PillsINSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill ... Читать далее...
4. There were two cats that enjoyed running togetherThere were two cats that enjoyed running together. The first cat was english, called One-two-three. The other was french and called Un-deux-trois. One day when they were running they came to a huge river. The cats took a large run up and leapt as far as they could. Which cat drowned? Un-deux-trois cat sank (un ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы holy cats[holy cats] or [holy cow] or [holy mackerel] or [holy Moses]{interj.}, {informal} — Used to express strong feeling ; used in speech or when writingconversation. «Holy cats! That’s good pie!» said Dick. «Holycow! They can’t do that!» Mary said when she saw the boys hurting amuch smaller boy....
6. Перевод слова happenHappen — случаться, происходить, оказаться Перевод слова What happened to your friend? — что случилось с твоим другом? as often happens — как часто бывает the house happened to be empty — дом оказался пустым I Happen to know the inside. Так получилось, что я располагаю секретной информацией. Worse cannot Happen. Ничего худшего не может ... Читать далее...
7. Letters to a landlordExcerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы rain cats and dogs[rain cats and dogs] or [rain buckets] or [rain pitchforks] {v. phr.}, {informal} To rain very hard; come down in torrents. In themiddle of the picnic it started to rain cats and dogs, and everybodygot soaked. Terry looked out of the window and said, «It’s rainingpitchforks, so we can’t go out to play right now.»...
9. Перевод идиомы rain cats and dogs, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: rain cats and dogs Перевод: льет, как из ведра (о дожде) Пример: It has been raining cats and dogs all morning. Все утро дождь льет, как из ведра....
10. Значение идиомы happen on[happen on] or [happen upon] {v.}, {literary} To meet or findaccidentally or by chance. The Girl Scouts happened on a charminglittle brook not far from the camp. At the convention I happenedupon an old friend I had not seen for years. Syn.: CHANCE ON, COMEACROSS, . Compare: HIT ON....
11. Showering: Men v. WomenHow To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note to do more ... Читать далее...
12. Using the RestroomDenzel: Excuse me, where is the Restroom? Server: It’s down the hall, on your left. Denzel: Thanks. When I got into the bathroom, it was a Mess. I walked into a Stall and there was Toilet paper all over the floor. There were no Toilet seat covers and the Toilet wouldn’t Flush. Even the Toilet ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод идиомы sit back and let something happen, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: sit back and let something happen Перевод: расслабиться и не вмешиваться во что-либо Пример: I did not want to sit back and let things happen so I began to make some phone calls about my situation. Я не хотел просто сидеть и ничего не делать, поэтому я начал звонить, пытаясь решить свою проблему....
14. Значение идиомы door[door] See: AT DEATH’S DOOR, AT ONE’S DOOR, CLOSED-DOOR, CLOSE ITS DOORS, CLOSE THE DOOR or BAR THE DOOR or SHUT THE DOOR, DARKEN ONE’S DOOR, or DARKEN THE DOOR, FOOT IN THE DOOR, KEEP THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR, LAY AT ONE’S DOOR, LOCK THE BARN DOOR AFTER THE HORSE IS STOLEN, NEXT DOOR, ... Читать далее...
15. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATSTHE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with ... Читать далее...
16. Пословица / поговорка accidents will occur in the best regulated families / accidents will happen — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: accidents will occur in the best regulated families / accidents will happen Перевод: неприятности бывают в самых лучших домах; скандал в благородном семействе Эквивалент в русском языке: всякое в жизни бывает; в семье не без урода Пример: Accidents will happen and you shouldn’t let failures get you down. Всякое в жизни бывает, ... Читать далее...
17. Horses paintingOnce i was working for an Excibition Gallery, as a outdoor cleaner, it was clear bright October day, when i came to my work, i saw a huge amount of stuff as a result of productivity about of 40 horses. Horse police parked here for a 3 hours. What should i do? i noticed a ... Читать далее...
18. Water pollutionWater pollution is one of the famous and one of the largest problems in our world. People in Africa cannot drink clean water; their children die because a big part of our water has been polluted. Children in Kenya often have to go many kilometers to collect drinking water. At all over 2 million people ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы ante up[ante up] {v.}, {informal} To produce the required amount of money in order to close a transaction; to pay what one owes. «I guess I’d better ante up if I want to stay an active member of the Association», Max said....
20. A drill instructor at Airborne school wasA drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: «When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, ... Читать далее...
21. Instrument Flying guide for Animal LoversHaving detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the «Cat and Duck Method» of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a ... Читать далее...
22. University courses for men and womenWhatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do ... Читать далее...
23. A fun gameWhile your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You’ve won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left…...
24. Перевод слова toiletToilet — туалет, уборная; костюм, одевание Перевод слова Morning toilet — утренний туалет summer toilets of the ladies — летние туалеты дам toilet stall — кабина в уборной Mummy, I need to go to the Toilet! Мамочка, мне нужно в туалет! She made Tina flush the pills down the Toilet. Она заставила Тину спустить таблетки ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова washWash — мыть, умываться, стирать; мытье, стирка Перевод слова To give a wash — вымыть, помыть to send to the wash — отдать в стирку to wash the shores — омывать берега You Wash and I’ll dry. Ты моешь посуду, а я буду вытирать. Warranted to Wash. При стирке не линяет. His hair needs a ... Читать далее...
26. ATM proceduresChase is very pleased to announce that we are installing new Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilise this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings. PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to ... Читать далее...
27. Elephants IIIHow do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How ... Читать далее...
28. Jokes of science 02The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. «Hmmm,» says the theorist, «That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).» In the middle of it, the experimentalist says «Wait a minute», studies the chart for a second, and ... Читать далее...
29. Interesting factsIf you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room When you hear the toilet flush ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы close the door[close the door] or [bar the door] or [shut the door] {v. phr.} To prevent any more action or talk about a subject. The President’s veto closed the door to any new attempt to pass the bill. Joan was much hurt by what Mary said, and she closed the door on Mary’s attempt to apologize. ... Читать далее...
31. Что будет через 50 лет?/ What Will Happen In 50 Years Time?На английском языке Перевод на русский язык What Will Happen In 50 Years Time? Что будет через 50 лет? Many people wonder what life will be like in 50 years time. No one can know for sure, but there are certain forecasts about world demographics, weather conditions, technology development, spaceflights, etc. In my opinion, it’s ... Читать далее...
32. A woman and her lover are on the bedA woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. «Oh, no, it’s my husband!» The man says, «Where’s your back door?» «We don’t have a back door» says the woman. The man then asks, «Well, where do you ... Читать далее...
33. Prison vs a housewifeIn prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow ... Читать далее...
34. Пословица / поговорка out of sight, out of mind — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: out of sight, out of mind Перевод: с глаз долой, из сердца вон Пример: The little boy was out of sight and out of mind until his mother discovered that he had emptied all of the shampoo containers into the toilet. Маленький мальчик не маячил перед глазами и не мешался, пока его ... Читать далее...
35. A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open tableA man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, «Do all the waiters ... Читать далее...
36. Bloke is drinking at a pubBloke is drinking at a pub and after a few rounds goes to leave, explaining to the barman he has to go home to do a shit. «Don’t be stupid,» says the barman, «We’ve got a perfectly good toilet here!» «Yes,» explains the drinker, «but I take salts.» «So what??!! That doesn’t matter — you ... Читать далее...
37. If men had PMS, what would happen?A) The federal government would allocate funds to study it. b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability. c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days. d) All of the above....
38. My household choresВ топике Мои домашние дела – я расскажу о том, какие обязанности я выполняю по дому. Я помогаю своим родителям и у меня много работы: я делаю уборку в квартире, помогаю маме и бабушке готовить еду и печь торты. Еще я часто хожу в магазин и на рынок, закупаю продукты. В нашем загородном доме тоже ... Читать далее...
39. Doing Spring CleaningMalcolm: Do we really need to start doing Spring cleaning today? Lorna: We really should. The Drapes need to be washed, the walls need to be Wiped down, and the Attic needs Cleaning out. And we really should clean the Upholstery on the sofa and dining chairs. Malcolm: That’s a lot of work for two ... Читать далее...
40. Значение идиомы clean[clean] See: COME CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, MAKE A CLEAN BREAST OF, NEW BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN, TAKE TO ONE’S HEELS, also SHOW A CLEAN PAIR OF HEELS....