There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa

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1. A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that […]...
2. Flashback 1996: Man sues Pepsi for not giving him a Harrier Jet As you get ready to take in Super Bowl ads, let this 1996 “CBS Evening News” story serve as a reminder to not believe every spot you see – especially if it involves winning a fighter jet. In the mid-90s Pepsi-Cola was airing its Pepsi Stuff promotional campaign when one of its commercials sparked a […]...
3. Перевод слова airplane Airplane – самолет, аэроплан Перевод слова Airplane ambulance – санитарный самолет airplane luggage – чемоданы, сумки для авиапутешествий airplane is airborne – самолет находится в воздухе The Airplane landed to refuel. Самолет приземлился для дозаправки. An Airplane droned overhead. Самолет гудел над головой. Происхождение слова airplane Образовано от двух слов:...
4. George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, “Aren’t you Moses?” But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. […]...
5. Indian chief’s signal An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, […]...
6. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
7. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
8. Перевод идиомы full of hot air / full of beans / full of bull / full of it / full of prunes, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: full of hot air / full of beans / full of bull / full of it / full of prunes Перевод: нести чепуху, быть болтуном Пример: I knew that the man was full of hot air when he began to tell us how to make lots of money. Я так и знал, что этот […]...
9. Worries while flying Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that […]...
10. An Emergency Airplane Landing I was nearly asleep in my seat when I heard this announcement: “Folks, this is the captain speaking from the Cockpit. We are experiencing a lot of Turbulence and I’m turning on the Fasten seatbelt sign. Please remain in your seats.” I didn’t think anything of it until a few minutes later when I heard […]...
11. Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with […]...
12. A closer call The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both […]...
13. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
14. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
15. Airplane Announcements I had to fly from Minneapolis to Los Angeles recently, and like most travelers, I’ve almost memorized the standard Safety announcement made by the Flight attendants. It goes something like this: Good afternoon and welcome to Flight 345, Service to Los Angeles International Airport. We appreciate your full attention to this important safety announcement. This […]...
16. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, “What’s a four – letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”? The bishop said, “Did you try “aunt”? The Pope said, “Mmmm. Do you […]...
17. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, “I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not […]...
18. Перевод слова tribe Tribe – племя, род, клан Перевод слова Primitive tribe – первобытное племя vagabond tribe – кочевое племя my knowledge of the Johnson tribe – мое знакомство с семейством Джонсонов He was a great sachem of his Tribe. Он был великим вождем своего племени. Few outsiders have ever visited this Tribe. За все время только несколько […]...
19. A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, “What’s the problem, Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.” “Well, uh, yes, it is.” replied Carol. “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.” “Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,” said the teacher, “but this once […]...
20. During the World War II During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something – at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down […]...
21. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...
22. Solve Indian puzzles An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made […]...
23. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, […]...
24. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
25. A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. “Oh, it was very disappointing,” he said. “I didn’t kill a thing. I’d have been better off staying here in the hospital.”...
26. Instrument Flying guide for Animal Lovers Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the “Cat and Duck Method” of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a […]...
27. Перевод слова crew Crew – судовая команда, экипаж Перевод слова Disreputable crew – дурная компания footplate crew – паровозная бригада trouble crew – аварийная команда How many go to a Crew with you, captain? Из скольких человек состоит ваша команда, капитан? The Crew was ordered to man the lifeboats. Команде было приказано занять места в шлюпках. One of […]...
28. Two men were boasting to each other Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” […]...
29. A perfect choice A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn’t find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won’t […]...
30. Flying in the plane Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.” The years […]...
31. Перевод слова rescue Rescue – спасать, спасение, избавление, помощь Перевод слова Rescue service – спасательная служба to come to the rescue – приходить на помощь to rescue a drunkard – помочь пьянице бросить пить You have Rescued me from trouble. Вы избавили меня от хлопот. The captain came to our Rescue. Капитан пришел к нам на помощь. My […]...
32. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, […]...
33. Investigating a Terrible Accident There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, […]...
34. Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. “Superman don’t need no seat belt,” Ali growled. “Well, Superman,” the stewardess replied, “don’t need no airplane!”...
35. The room was full of pregnant ladies The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. […]...
36. Want some chicken? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken […]...
37. Значение идиомы flying wedge [flying wedge] {n.}, {informal} 1. An offensive formation infootball in which players link arms and line up to form a “V” with theball carrier in the middle. The flying wedge was so dangerous andhurt so many players that rules have forbidden it for over 50 years. 2. A group who use a “V” formation to […]...
38. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
39. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...
40. Storing Luggage on an Airplane Yoshi: Can you hold my jacket while I try to get my Roller bag down the Aisle? Tatiana: All right, but I have to roll my own bag down the aisle, you know. Yoshi: Fine, give it back to me. All of these Overhead bins are full. Where are we supposed To store them? Tatiana: […]...