The Zen Master is visiting New York City

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1. A city boy was visiting the country andA city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy ... Читать далее...
2. A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York CityA German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: «They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!» The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly ... Читать далее...
3. This lady who was living in New York City had to get backThis lady who was living in New York City had to get back to her old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a worker getting ready to load supplies onto a boat. «Please I need to get back to England» she pleaded. «If you sneak me ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова masterMaster — мастер; хозяин, господин Перевод слова Master of a shop — хозяин мастерской master and man — господин и слуга master of satire — мастер сатиры master of English — знаток английского языка He had learned to Master his fear of heights. Он научился контролировать свой страх высоты. He is a Master liar. Он ... Читать далее...
5. A Trip to New York City(The phone rings.) Lucy: Hello. Jeff: Hey Lucy, it’s Jeff. Lucy: Hey, welcome back. How was your vacation? Jeff: Oh, it was great. The seven days in New York was a Blast. Lucy: Oh, yeah? Did you do any sightseeing or just visit with friends? Jeff: I got to do both, actually. First, I saw ... Читать далее...
6. The Master Chief was inspecting the barracksThe Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he overheard one terrified recruit whisper, «Master Chief Barnes has the heart of a tiny child. . . on his desk. . . in a jar.» Without missing a beat, Master Chief Barnes snarled, «Goddamned if they don’t find out EVERY little thing about you!»...
7. Перевод слова vendorVendor — продавец, поставщик Перевод слова Street vendor — уличный торговец ice cream vendor — торговец мороженным vendor agnostic — независимый от поставщика услуг single-vendor line — изделия одного поставщика vendor programmable — программируемый поставщиком A well-known Vendor of ladies’ hats. Известный продавец дамских шляп. He bought a copy from a newspaper Vendor. Он купил ... Читать далее...
8. A woman selling apples in New YorkA woman selling apples in New York is puzzled by a man who always comes by, pays a quarter, but never picks up an apple. This goes on for some time until, one day, the woman runs after the man as he walks away. ‘I know why you are chasing after me… you want to ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы visiting nurse[visiting nurse] {n.} A nurse who goes from home to home takingcare of sick people or giving help with other health problems. After John returned home from the hospital, the visiting nurse cameeach day to change his bandages....
10. New YorkNew York is one of the largest cities in the world. Its population is over 11 million people. New York is an industrial and cultural centre of the country. Most business is centred in Manhattan Island. The whole area is very small, that’s why the sky-scrapers were invented in New York and, especially, in Wall ... Читать далее...
11. New York (2)New York is one of the largest cities in the world and the biggest seaport. It’s the financial capital of the country. It’s the business centre of the United States. The city is situated in New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson river. It’s population is over eight million. In early times the ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы master key[master key] {n. phr.} A key that opens a set of different locks. The building janitor has a master key to all of the apartments inthis building....
13. New York (3)New York has always been the gateway to the USA. But it is more than just a door; it is also a window through which the life of the whole nation may be observed. New York is a city of striking social contrasts. New York includes five boroughs: Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Richmond. ... Читать далее...
14. An American tourist is visiting ChinaAn American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: «How large is the population here?» «Around 1.5 billion» — the guide answers American, After a short pause: «So, what else do you do here?»...
15. Значение идиомы master copy[master copy] {n.} 1. A perfect text to which all copies are madeto conform; a corrected version used as a standard by printers. Themaster copy must be right, because if it isn’t, the mistakes in itwill be repeated all through the edition. 2. A stencil from whichother copies are made. Mr. Brown told his secretary ... Читать далее...
16. New York JokesNew York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
17. From the history of New York — Из истории Нью-ЙоркаThe first European explorer who saw Manhattan Island was Giovanni da Verrazano, an Italian merchant who was in the service of the French king, Francis I. The date was April, 1524. Today a bridge which carries his name, the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, is one of the city’s most impressive sights. It is the longest suspension bridge ... Читать далее...
18. Visiting a Construction SiteBill: Ma’am! ma’am! Estelle: Yes? Bill: Ma’am, you’re not supposed to be here. This is a Construction site and you’re not allowed. Please don’t step on that Scaffolding. It’s dangerous. Estelle: Oh, I just wanted a quick look to see how the building is Coming along. Look at all this Lumber and Brick. The Foundation ... Читать далее...
19. A business man from New York decided to quit his jobA business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I ... Читать далее...
20. Пословица / поговорка Jack of all trades and master of none — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: Jack of all trades and master of none Перевод: за все браться и ничего толком не уметь Пример: «I envy Bob; he can do so many things. He writes novels, paints pictures, makes sculptures, and even plays the dulcimer.» «It’s true he does a lot of things, but he probably doesn’t do ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы master of ceremonies[master of ceremonies] or [M. C.] or [emcee] {n.} The person incharge of introducing the various participants in a show orentertainment. Bob Hope was the M. C. of many memorable shows....
22. Достопримечательности Нью-Йорка/ Places of Interest in New YorkНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Places of Interest in New York Достопримечательности Нью-Йорка New York is not the capital city of the Unites States of America. However, it’s the largest and the most famous city of the country. The city is situated on the east coast of the Atlantic Ocean and consists of ... Читать далее...
23. A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walkedA visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman. «Hi,» he said, «I’m new in town. Can I buy you a drink?» «Get lost,» she remarked, «I am Lesbian.» «Oh, really?» he asked, «How are things in Beiruit?»...
24. Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic CitySchick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, «How much?» She says, «Twenty bucks.» He says, «All right.» They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s ... Читать далее...
25. New York — Нью-Йорк (2)New York is one of the largest cities in the world and the biggest seaport. It’s the financial capital of the country. It’s the business centre of the United States. The city is situated in New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson river. It’s population is over eight million. In early times the ... Читать далее...
26. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова cityCity — город, большой город Перевод слова To live in the city — жить в городе capital city — столица free city — вольный город in the core of the city — в самом сердце города City life is not for me. Городская жизнь не для меня. The City was dimmed-out. Улицы в городе были ... Читать далее...
28. Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife saidVisiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, «I want you to help me get a divorce. The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with.» «What do you mean?» asked the attorney. «Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?» «No,» replied the ... Читать далее...
29. Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turnedVisiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. «This,» she said, «I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?» «No, madam,» replied the attendant. «That one’s called a mirror.»...
30. A young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farmA young boy was visiting his grandfather’s farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his grandfather playing with himself. The boy says, «What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?» Grandpa replies, «No sonny, just jacking!»...
31. Нью-Йорк. Достопримечательности/ New York. SightsНью-Йорк. Достопримечательности New York. Sights Нью-Йорк имеет глобальное влияние на мировую торговлю, технику, образование, искусство, средства массовой информации и другие сферы. Это самый крупный и густонаселенный город США. Территория города разделена на пять районов: Бруклин, Манхэттен, Бронкс, Квинс и Стейтен-Айленд. Первое название города было Новый Амстердам, потому что он был заселен голландскими колонистами. В город ... Читать далее...
32. A New York boy was being led through the swampsA New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. «Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?» The cousin smirked and replied, «Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight.»...
33. A woman and her friend are visiting the zooA woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her ... Читать далее...
34. A tourist, visiting a small town in IsraelA tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to «The Unknown Soldier». At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: «Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg». The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, «As a soldier, that ... Читать далее...
35. New York — Нью-Йорк (1)New York is the largest city in the USA and the biggest seaport. It is the business centre of the United States. New York is situated in the mouth of the Hudson river. In comparison with such ancient historical cities as, say, Rome, London, Moscow or Paris, New York is quite young. It was founded ... Читать далее...
36. Fake two dollar billOn my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a ... Читать далее...
37. Places of Interest in New York — Интересные места Нью-ЙоркаAlthough New York is not the capital of the United States, it is the biggest and most important city and seaport of the country. New York is situated on the Atlantic coast, in the northeastern part of the country, in the state of New York at the mouth of the deep Hudson River, one of ... Читать далее...
38. City & Guilds Centre in My Town — Центр City & Guilds в моем городеCity & Guilds is one of the oldest and very well known British Examination Board and works about 130 years. It offers more than 500 qualifications exams. City & Guilds certificates are recognized in many countries around the world. In Stary Oskol City & Guilds centre has started in April 2005 and since that over ... Читать далее...
39. My heart setA certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, «All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and ... Читать далее...
40. My carA tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, «Hey, bud, this is my car!» «OK,» the ... Читать далее...