The new Ensign was assigned to subs

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1. The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he overheard one terrified recruit whisper, “Master Chief Barnes has the heart of a tiny child. . . on his desk. . . in a jar.” Without missing a beat, Master Chief Barnes snarled, “Goddamned if they don’t find out EVERY little thing about you!”...
2. Finish overseas tour A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far […]...
3. Перевод слова divide Divide – делить, разделять Перевод слова To divide smth. in two – делить что-л. пополам to divide 60 by 12 – разделить 60 на 12 to bridge the divide – служить мостом, помогать преодолевать различия If you Divide 21 by 3, you get 7. Если вы разделите 21 3, вы получите 7. She Divided the […]...
4. Scuba Dive/Tux Explanation: How many times has James Bond or some other big-screen spy hopped into a tuxedo, taken a scuba dive and then arrived at a cocktail party looking fresh as a daisy? Enough times for a viewer to ask MythBusters Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage to test whether the confines of a scuba suit can […]...
5. Значение идиомы crash-dive [crash-dive] {v.} 1. To dive deep under water in a submarine as quickly as possible. We shall crash-dive if we see enemy planes coming. 2. To dive into in an airplane. When the plane’s motor was hit by the guns of the enemy battleship, the pilot aimed the plane at the ship and crash-dived into […]...
6. A human’s Chalkboard Assignments This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your human when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment for him/her. 1. I will not bathe my master after he bathes himself in the mud puddle. 2. I will not drag my master from the interesting […]...
7. Перевод слова master Master – мастер; хозяин, господин Перевод слова Master of a shop – хозяин мастерской master and man – господин и слуга master of satire – мастер сатиры master of English – знаток английского языка He had learned to Master his fear of heights. Он научился контролировать свой страх высоты. He is a Master liar. Он […]...
8. Перевод слова surface Surface – поверхность, внешность Перевод слова The Earth’s surface – поверхность Земли to keep on the surface – держаться на поверхности it is all on the surface – это все показное his politeness is only on the surface – он только внешне вежлив He looks at the Surface only. Он обращает внимание только на внешнюю […]...
9. Перевод слова dive Dive – нырять, прыгать вниз, углубляться Перевод слова To dive headfirst – нырять вниз головой to dive off a bridge – броситься с моста to dive for cover – броситься в укрытие She Dove into the swimming pool. Она нырнула в бассейн. He made a Dive across the place. Он бросился на другую сторону. Dinner’s […]...
10. Перевод слова chief Chief – руководитель, начальник, вождь; главный, основной Перевод слова Chief editor – главный редактор chief intimate – лучший друг chief supporter – основной сторонник chief reasons – главные причины The Chief wants you. Вас требует начальник. The fire Chief suspects arson. Начальник пожарной охраны подозревает поджог. Safety is our Chief concern. Безопасность – наша главная […]...
11. Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound […]...
12. A rookie police officer was assigned A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s […]...
13. Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?” “The stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said Little Johnny. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the stork brought us too.” “So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?” “Well, darling, the stork […]...
14. A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that […]...
15. Значение идиомы eyes open [eyes open] 1. Careful watch or attention; readiness to see. – Usually used with “for”. Keep your eyes open for a boy in a red capand sweater. The hunter had his eyes open for rabbits. Theydrove on with their eyes open for a gas station. Syn.: EYE OUT, KEEPONE’S EYES PEELED. 2. Full knowledge; especially […]...
16. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
17. One day there was an indian chief who was constipated One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says “Big Chief, no shit”. the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and […]...
18. Значение идиомы take a nose dive [take a nose dive] {v. phr.} To plummet; fall sharply. The stockmarket took a nose dive after the news of the President’s heartattack....
19. There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a […]...
20. Перевод слова listen Listen – слушать Перевод слова To listen at the keyhole – подслушивать у двери to listen to music – слушать музыку talk-listen button – кнопка передачи-приема Don’t Listen to him! Не слушайте его! Let me have a Listen too. Дай мне тоже послушать. He was in no humour to Listen. Он был не в настроении […]...
21. The Zen Master is visiting New York City The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.” The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box […]...
22. Solve Indian puzzles An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made […]...
23. Перевод слова simple Simple – простой, скромный, простодушный Перевод слова Simple explanation – простое объяснение simple fare – простая пища that is very simple of you – это очень глупо с вашей стороны There is no Simple answer. Простого ответа не существует. The melody is very Simple. Эта мелодия очень простая. The Simple rules evaded them. Простые правила […]...
24. Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, “Okay, […]...
25. Значение идиомы scratch the surface [scratch the surface] {v. phr.} To learn or understand very littleabout something. – Usually used with a limiting adverb. We thought we understood Africa but when we made a tripthere we found we had only scratched the surface. High schoolstudents have only scratched the surface of their subjects, and evenafter college graduation, they still find […]...
26. The Missionary and the Chief A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. […]...
27. Indian chief’s signal An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, […]...
28. Chemistry song 07 Test Tubes Bubbling (to the tune of “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”) Test tubes bubbling in a water bath Strong smells nipping at ypur nose . Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow Will find it hard to be inert tonight. They know that Chlorine’s on its way He’s loaded lots of little electrons […]...
29. Investigating a Terrible Accident There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, […]...
30. Перевод слова result Result – результат, следствие Перевод слова Without result – безрезультатно in the result – в конце концов to obtain good results – добиться хороших результатов A lot depends on the Result of this match. Многое зависит от результата этого матча. I am delighted by the Result. Я в восторге от результата. Nothing has Resulted from […]...
31. Перевод слова real Real – реальный, настоящий, действительный Перевод слова Real events – реальные события real life – действительность real gold – настоящее золото the real reason – истинная причина She’s a Real peach. Она настоящая красавица. It looks Real nice. Это выглядит действительно хорошо. I remember my first Real job. Я помню свою первую настоящую работу....
32. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...
33. Значение идиомы presence of mind [presence of mind] {n. phr.} Effective and quick decision-makingability in times of crisis. When Jimmy fell into the river, hisfather had the presence of mind to dive in after him and save him fromdrowning....
34. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
35. Family sex TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too […]...
36. The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor. She tells the doctor “Big Chief no fart.” The doctor tells her to give him three pills a day. The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, “Big Chief no fart.” The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him […]...
37. Geologist’s song 02 Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean, Alas for the spreading of the sea, Alas for every year that passes by, Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate, Causing me to weep and to mourn? With the plates diverging […]...
38. Give us new missiles The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the […]...
39. Значение идиомы skim the surface [skim the surface] {v. phr.} To do something very superficially. He seems knowledgeable in many different areas but his familiarity isvery superficial, since he only skims the surface of everything hetouches....
40. Preparing for a Disaster Lilly: Quick, we need to go get some supplies. I was listening to Talk radio on my way home from work and this guy was on talking about how Doomsday is coming and we need to prepare. Paul: Oh no, not this again. You have to stop listening to that Garbage on the radio. Listen, […]...