The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through

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1. The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. “Buffalo come,” remarked Tonto. “How can you tell, Tonto?” asked the Lone Ranger. “Face sticky.”...
2. Is that your horse The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy looked at the […]...
3. Johnny Depp: Why I Travel With My Captain Jack Sparrow Costume We’ve heard about Johnny Depp visiting children’s hospitals dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, but who knew he actually has the Pirates of the Caribbean costume with him at all times? “Sometimes you go to kiddie hospitals and things like that,” the actor explained while promoting his latest flick, The Lone Ranger. “I’ll just sneak in […]...
4. Значение идиомы lone wolf [lone wolf] {n.} A man who likes to work or live alone. The manwho paints a picture or establishes a business is often a lone wolf;so is the criminal outlaw. Jones is a good pitcher, but he is alone wolf....
5. Indians and Polish There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the […]...
6. Riding in a Carpool Roberto: Hey, Loreto. Got a minute? Loreto: I’m going to a meeting Off-site, but we can talk if you don’t mind Walking me to my car. Roberto: Sure, okay. I just wanted to ask if you’re interested in Carpooling to work. We only live a few blocks from each other. Loreto: Thanks for asking, but […]...
7. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That […]...
8. Значение идиомы by turns [by turns] {adv. phr.} First one and then another in a regular way; one substituting for or following another according to a repeated plan. On the drive to Chicago, the three men took the wheel by turns. The teachers were on duty by turns. When John had a fever, he felt cold and hot by […]...
9. Перевод слова hill Hill – возвышение, холм Перевод слова Hill country – холмистая местность a chain of hills – цепь холмов the slope of a hill – склон холма The house stood on a Hill. Дом стоял на холме. The child rolled down the Hill. Ребенок скатился с горы. The Hill commands a good view. С холма открывается […]...
10. Household items Back in the ’70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, “Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, ‘Oh, great. Now I’ll have to […]...
11. A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named “Clint”, and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, “You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?” […]...
12. Значение идиомы take turns [take turns] {v. phr.} To do something one after another instead ofdoing it all at the same time. In class we should not talk all atthe same time; we should take turns. Jean and Beth took turns onthe swing. The two boys took turns at digging the hole. Thethree men took turns driving so one […]...
13. Riding Scooters and Motorcycles Bernadette: When you offered to give me a ride to work, I didn’t know you rode a Motorcycle. I’m not sure about this. Pawel: Come on, put on this Helmet and get on. You’ll get to work much faster. We can zip around cars and go between Lanes. Bernadette: That’s what I’m afraid of. Pawel: […]...
14. Значение идиомы heart sink [heart sink] To lose hope, courage, or eagerness; be verydisappointed. The soldiers’ hearts sank when they saw that theywere surrounded by Indians. The children were happy because theywere going to the beach to swim, but their hearts sank when it beganto rain....
15. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
16. Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf”, says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time […]...
17. Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine.” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore […]...
18. Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree. “Ah-ha….,” The Big Bad Wolf said, “Now I’ve got you and I’m going to eat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!…” Little Red Riding Hood said angrily, “Damn it, […]...
19. A man was riding in the back of his limousine A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man. “I don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, please come […]...
20. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
21. Little Red Riding Hood Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her grandmother, and there was nothing that she would not have given to the child. Once she gave her a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited her so well […]...
22. Езда на велосипеде/ Riding A Bicycle На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Riding A Bicycle Езда на велосипеде Not everyone knows how useful for our body is to ride a bicycle. Most people spend hours these days in front of computer screens, which is not healthy at all. Riding a bicycle has a number of benefits. First of all, it’s […]...
23. Ass-corked Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, “How’d you get a cork in your ass?” The other guy says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a […]...
24. Large Indian mural In Montana, on the sight where Custer and his men had their asses handed to them by the Sioux, a huge mural is to be painted. The artist insists on complete secrecy. When the mural is unveiled it shows an orgy of naked Indians screwing all over the prairie, and in the center a cow […]...
25. A blond at a party was telling her friend A blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. “They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator” “So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend “I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”...
26. Значение идиомы if the hill will not come to Muhammad, Muhammad will go to thehill [if the hill will not come to Muhammad, Muhammad will go to thehill] If one person will not go to the other, then the other must goto him. – A proverb. Grandfather won’t come to visit us, so we mustgo and visit him. If the hill won’t come to Muhammad, then Muhammadwill go to the […]...
27. A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy walks in the door, he notices all these […]...
28. Riding the Subway Misha: I’d like to buy a Token for the Subway. Clerk: The subway doesn’t use tokens anymore. Misha: Oh? I didn’t know that. It’s been a few years since I visited New York. How do I pay for the Fare? Clerk: You can buy a ticket for a Single ride that Expires two hours after […]...
29. Family sex TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too […]...
30. Значение идиомы over the hill [over the hill] {adj.}, {informal} Past one’s prime; unable tofunction as one used to; senile. Poor Mr. Jones is sure not like heused to be; well, he’s over the hill....
31. Riding in a Limousine Mandy: Whoo! Whoo! Theo: Hey, get down from there. You shouldn’t be sticking your head out of the Sunroof. Mandy: I just wanted to get some air. This Stretch limo is amazing. Theo: Well, I thought I’d rent one and take you to the Prom in style. Mandy: This is The height of luxury. You’ve […]...
32. Speak more precisely Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. “My sergeants are wonderful”, said one soldier. “I wish I could say the same about mine,” said the other. “You could if you could lie as I do.” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
33. Значение идиомы riding high [riding high] {adj.} Attracting attention; enjoying greatpopularity. After scoring the winning touchdown, John is ridinghigh with his classmates....
34. Значение идиомы riding for a fall [riding for a fall] {adj. phr.} Behaving in an overconfident waythat is likely to lead to trouble; being too sure of yourself; doingsomething dangerous. The student who does not study for exams isriding for a fall. Mr. Smith has borrowed too much money on hishome. He is riding for a fall. Compare: COME A CROPPER....
35. Egg joke In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination you would like him to try with you. Find a door with a fairly large crack between the door and the wall when the door is open. (You know, over by the hinges; across the width of the door from the […]...
36. Students suspended for riding horses to school Pranks become more common as the school year wraps up for many students. This 2015 story is going viral after being posted on Reddit this week. Two high school seniors were suspended after they rode horses to school as part of “No Vehicle to School Day.” The decision to not use vehicles to get to […]...
37. There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says “Did you know you were speeding back there.” The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband “What did he say, what did […]...
38. Be politically correct How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men) – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – He does not […]...
39. An Unusual Ailment A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can’t believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the […]...
40. Marriage quotes 09 Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage […]...