Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Talking on a plane

Talking on a plane

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight.

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

«Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.»

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, «Wow! It just missed the highway!»



Holidays in the uk topic.
Титаник на английском читать.

Related topics:

  1. Problems during flightThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight ... Читать далее...
  2. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
  3. Convince these studentsAn Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: «Why you throw ... Читать далее...
  4. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
  5. Daddy is going to warThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. «No, ... Читать далее...
  6. Find out about the catThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in ... Читать далее...
  7. A plane was taking off from Kennedy AirportA plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, «Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth ... Читать далее...
  8. This dog loves peopleThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to ... Читать далее...
  9. Bull free in TokoyoThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as ... Читать далее...
  10. Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came onThirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, «Who turned on the fucking lights!» «Oh, no sir,» the nearest flight attendant replied. «Those are the breakfast lights. You slept through the ‘fucking ... Читать далее...
  11. Marines and the policeThe following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to «cover» him as he approched the store (to police, «cover» means to point your weapons ... Читать далее...
  12. Choking a girlfriendThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, November 29, 1992 The Ontario Press Council dismissed a complaint filed by Allan Sorensen against the Toronto Sun, which had reported that Sorenson had choked his ex-girlfriend. Sorensen’s complaint was that ... Читать далее...
  13. Appear on televisionThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts and his wife and her sister, in New York City to appear on the «Sally Jessy Raphael» show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting ... Читать далее...
  14. Set up hidden camerasThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. December 18, 1992 Michael J. Schmidt, 29, set up a hidden video camera at his home near Superior, Wis., because he had been burglarized several times and thought he could catch the ... Читать далее...
  15. Battles on the seaThe following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain’s saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel’s business and entertaining would take ... Читать далее...
  16. Insulting to womenThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Bangkok, Thailand A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses. «We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses ... Читать далее...
  17. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
  18. Annoying phone callsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking ... Читать далее...
  19. Ordering fast foodThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our ... Читать далее...
  20. Beware of drunken bearsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the ... Читать далее...
  21. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in supportUsually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man ... Читать далее...
  22. Using Electronics on AirplanesFlight attendant: I’m sorry, sir, but all passengers need to turn off their Portable electronic devices for Takeoff, so you’ll need to turn off your Laptop. Alec: I just need to finish one last email. Flight attendant: Sir, we can’t take off until you turn that computer off. Alec: Fine. It’s off. Why all the ... Читать далее...
  23. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
  24. Newspaper typing errorThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The following appeared on the back page of one of Australia’s more outrageous computer publications, «Computing Australia», 21st Sept 1987: … Blame it on the computer. An unfriendly computer has been held ... Читать далее...
  25. Stuck in a planeGeorge Bushes, father Bush and son Bush, Bush, Jr., are on board a small two seater plane when suddenly George Senior, the pilot, parachutes out of the plane. Not knowing how to fly, National Guard Service or not, a plane George, Jr., grabs the radio. «Mayday, mayday! My Dad just jumped out of the plane!» ... Читать далее...
  26. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «В самолете (on a plane), в поезде (on a train), в автобусе (on a bus)»По-английски Перевод на русский В самолете (On a plane) Flight attendant: Hello! May I have your boarding pass, please? Стюардесса: Здравствуйте! Могу ли я взглянуть на Ваш посадочный талон, пожалуйста? Alex Volgin: Hello! Here you are. Алекс Волгин: Здравствуйте! Вот, пожалуйста. Flight attendant: Your seat number is 18C. This way, please. Your seat is over ... Читать далее...
  27. Chinese plane crashTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the ... Читать далее...
  28. Значение идиомы delta wave[delta wave] {n.}, {informal}, {semi-technical} A brain wave 1-3 cycles per second, associated with very deep sleep. Good night, honey, I’m off to produce some delta waves. Compare: CATCH SOME Z’S, HIT THE HAY or HIT THE SACK....
  29. Holiday TravelIt’s hard to avoid traveling Over The holidays but the experience I had last week really Takes the cake. I flew back to Tucson, Arizona, to be with my wife’s family, as we do every Christmas. I got to the airport an hour and a half before my flight, which I thought would be Plenty ... Читать далее...
  30. Перевод слова airlineAirline — авиалиния, авиакомпания Перевод слова Internal airline — внутренняя авиалиния local airline — местная авиалиния airline schedule — расписание самолетов The Airline is upgrading its fleet. Авиакомпания обновляет свой летный парк. The Airline overbooked the flight. Авиакомпания перебронировалы рейс This Airline’s safety record is impeccable. Репутация этой авиалинии безупречна. . Происхождение слова airline Образовано ... Читать далее...
  31. Значение идиомы in the clear[in the clear] {adj. phr.} 1. Free of anything that makes moving orseeing difficult; with nothing to limit action. The plane climbedabove the clouds and was flying in the clear. Jack passed the ballto Tim, who was in the clear and ran for a touchdown. 2. {informal}Free of blame or suspicion; not thought to be ... Читать далее...
  32. Значение идиомы clear up[clear up] {v.} 1. To make plain or clear; explain; solve. The teacher cleared up the harder parts of the story. Maybe we can clear up your problem. 2. To become clear. The weather cleared up after the storm. 3. To cure. The pills cleared up his stomach trouble. 4. To put back into a ... Читать далее...
  33. Flying on a Budget AirlineAnton: It’s amazing that we were able to get these airline tickets so cheaply. Federica: It’s great, isn’t it? We can fly to Lawrence City for a fun weekend. Let’s Check in using this Kiosk. Anton: Hmm, this is asking me to pay $50 to bring a piece of luggage aboard. I didn’t know there ... Читать далее...
  34. Quotes from stupid 01These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. «The effects are fleeting and lingering…» — Overheard in a hallway «In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.» — CBS reporter during the solar eclipse «A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.» — ... Читать далее...
  35. Перевод слова storyStory — рассказ, повесть, сюжет Перевод слова Short story — рассказ, новелла funny story — анекдот the main thing in a novel is the story — самое главное в романе — это сюжет His Story rings true. Его рассказ звучит правдоподобно. He told us the Story. Он рассказал нам эту историю. I accredited his Story. ... Читать далее...
  36. Travelling by Plane — Путешествие на самолетеNo wonder that one of the latest means of travelling is travelling by plane. Nowadays people mostly travel by air. It combines both comfort and speed and you will reach the place of destination very quickly. No doubt, travelling by air is the most convenient and comfortable means of travelling. But if you are airsick ... Читать далее...
  37. Значение идиомы open up[open up] {v.} 1. To show for the first time; make clear; reveal. The story of Helen Keller’s life opened up a whole new world toMary. Einstein’s theories opened up a whole new area for study. 2. To make available; present an opportunity; offer. The buildingof the railroad opened up new lands to the pioneers. ... Читать далее...
  38. Getting In-Flight ServiceI pushed the Call button to get the attention of the Flight attendant. Flight attendant: Yes? What can I do for you? Hal: It’s very cold in the Cabin. Is it possible to get a Blanket? Flight attendant: We’re out of blankets, but here’s a Pillow. Hal: Okay, thanks. I was asleep during the Meal ... Читать далее...
  39. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «В самолете» (On board the plane)— Excuse me. Is it possible to have another blanket, please? I am a little cold. — Sure. Would you like just one or two? — One will be enough I think. — OK. I’ll be right back with your blanket. Would you like anything else? — Yes. Can I get something to drink too? ... Читать далее...
  40. Значение идиомы foot[foot] See: AT ONE’S FEET, COLD FEET, DEAD ON ONE’S FEET, DRAGONE’S FEET, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT, GET ONE’SFEET WET, HAND AND FOOT, KEEP ONE’S FEET, KNOCK OFF ONE’S FEET, LANDON ONE’S FEET, LET GRASS GROW UNDER ONE’S FEET, ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE, ON FOOT, ON ONE’S FEET, ... Читать далее...

Talking on a plane