Taking the final exam

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1. Life Science Final ExamThe not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: «Give four advantages of breast milk.» What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can’t ... Читать далее...
2. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
3. Students miss a finalIntroductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms — so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final ... Читать далее...
4. Jokes about the Fighting IrishGallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. «Did you see the paper?» asked Gallagher. «They say I died!!» «Yes, I saw it!» replied Finney. «Where are you callin’ from?» It was general question time on the «Top ... Читать далее...
5. Waiting For Exam ResultsJoel: Did it come? Susanne: No, it’s not in today’s mail. Why do I bother, anyway? I know it’s a Foregone conclusion. I’ve Failed. Joel: That’s Bull! I know you Passed. You’re just On tenterhooks waiting around for the results to arrive and you’re Psyching yourself out. Susanne: No, I’m not. Joel: Don’t you remember ... Читать далее...
6. Final wishIn a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, he went to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) ... Читать далее...
7. Taking a Standardized TestDad: It’s time you start preparing for the MCFL Test. Maria: Dad, that’s 12 months away! I don’t need to start looking at Test prep materials right now. Dad: Yes, you do. Like all High-stakes testing, Familiarity with the types of questions you’ll be asked will help you. You need To score well on it ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова examExam — экзамен Перевод слова To sweat out an exam — выдержать экзамен exam table — стол для осмотра больного fudge on an exam — смошенничать на экзамене Did you pass the Exam? Вы сдали экзамен? The Exam was a pushover. Экзамен был простеньким. She got an A on the Exam. Она получила высший балл ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова finalFinal — завершающий, заключительный, конечный Перевод слова The final day of the term — последний день занятий the final chapter — заключительная глава this battle was final — эта битва оказалась решающей is that final? — это окончательно? He coasted through his Final exams. Он без труда сдал выпускные экзамены. You need to tackle the ... Читать далее...
10. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiringThe bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants — one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, «Jim ... Читать далее...
11. Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. «Where do you live?» asked the operator. Bubba replied, «At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.» The operator asked, «Can you spell that for me?» There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, «How ... Читать далее...
12. Chemistry song 06Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы draw a blank[draw a blank] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To obtain nothing in return for an effort made or to get a negative result. I looked up all the Joneses in the telephone book but I drew a blank every time I asked for Archibald Jones. 2. To fail to remember something. I am trying to think ... Читать далее...
14. Impossible final examsInstructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately. Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life. Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of ... Читать далее...
15. BonkistryIntroductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as «Bonkistry.» He has been around forever, so I wouldn’t put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry ... Читать далее...
16. Sports entrance examUNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM SEC FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION (Time Limit: 3 Weeks) 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова blankBlank — пустой, чистый, незаполненный Перевод слова Blank paper — чистая бумага blank bill — бланковый вексель to leave blank — оставить незаполненным Leave the last page Blank. Оставьте последние страницы пустыми. But what in Blank you are waiting for? Какого — сами знаете чего — вы ждете? Suddenly the screen went Blank. Внезапно экран ... Читать далее...
18. At the exam short story — На экзаменеFibby and Elivie were the best friends and it seemed that nothing could overshadow their relations. Who could imagine that they would become enemies for the rest of their life? It was lovely winter day when Fibby and Elivie came to pass their exam. It was the day when everything went into pieces in their ... Читать далее...
19. Catch a drunk driverTwo rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said «Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!» «Don’t worry, Bubba,» Earl said. «We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel ... Читать далее...
20. Taking Vitamins and SupplementsThe last time I went to the doctor for a Checkup, she told me that I needed to start taking some Dietary supplements that had the Vitamins and Minerals that my body needed to stay healthy. I told her that I ate a Balanced diet, but she said that many people who generally ate well ... Читать далее...
21. A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed manA few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when ... Читать далее...
22. A college professor in an anatomy class asked his studentsA college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, «Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.» She replied, «What other ... Читать далее...
23. Shopping with My WifeOne thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” ... Читать далее...
24. Shopping with My WifeOne thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” ... Читать далее...
25. Passing an examThree patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод идиомы to some extent, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: to some extent Перевод: в некоторой степени, частично Пример: My answer to the professor’s question was correct to some extent but in general it was not what the professor wanted. В некоторой степени мой ответ профессору был правильным, но в целом он был не тем, что хотел услышать профессор....
27. A sailor and a marine are taking a pissA sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы taking pictures[taking pictures] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon}To use a radar-operated speed indicator in order to enforce the 55 MPHspeed limit. The Smokeys are taking pictures!...
29. The evils of marijuanaA certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, «Used regularly,» he explained, «pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!» «Now wait a minute, professor,» interrupted a student. ... Читать далее...
30. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching hisAt a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: «Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?» One young woman’s answer: «Because they won’t ... Читать далее...
31. Jokes of science 01At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator. A student recognizes ... Читать далее...
32. Exams: my negative experience — Экзамены: мой отрицательный опытIt`s been more that 2 years since I had my final exams, but the memories of them are disturbingly fresh. Though I was top of the class I can`t say that I didn`t have any problems with my finals. So I`d like to tell you mostly about my negative experience. My worst exam nightmare was ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова tinyTiny — крошечный Перевод слова Tiny parasitic insects — маленькие насекомые-паразиты tiny spark — искорка tiny brook — ручеек tiny tot with yellow hair — малыш с золотистыми волосами The plate had a Tiny chip in the edge. На ободке тарелки была крошечная щербинка. The computer chips were Tiny. Компьютерные микросхемы были крошечные. It was ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы serve one right[serve one right] {v. phr.} To be what really deserves asa punishment; be a fair exchange for what has done or saidor failed to do or say. He failed his exam; it served him rightbecause he had not studied. Bob said it served Sally right whenshe cut her finger; she had taken his knife without ... Читать далее...
35. A college professor is explaining to his class that pleasureA college professor is explaining to his class that pleasure is a mental state, and that many people overlook the things they already have. He says, «A man who has developed a true sense of appreciation can enjoy a good bowel movement as much as having sexual intercourse.» One student stands up and says, «Professor, ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова academicAcademic — академический, педагогический Перевод слова Academic career — научная карьера academic books — учебная литература academic interest — теоретический интерес He possessed no Academic qualifications. Он не обладал научной квалификаций. This was not an Academic exercise — soldiers’ lives were at risk. Это не было чисто теоретическим занятием — жизнь солдат была в опасности. ... Читать далее...
37. American University Grading ProceduresHere is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: — All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: — Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books ... Читать далее...
38. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplaneThere was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, «I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод идиомы the last straw / the final straw, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: the last straw / the final straw Перевод: последняя капля Пример: The fourth time that the girl came to work late was the last straw and we finally fired her. Четвертый раз, когда девушка опоздала на работу, был последней каплей, и мы наконец ее уволили....
40. Перевод слова blank noteBlank note — бумага для записей Происхождение слова blank note Фраза образована из слов Blank (пустой, незаполненный) и Note (заметка). rel=»nofollow»>...