So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building

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1. A sailor and a marine are taking a pissA sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in ... Читать далее...
2. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a buildingThis guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he thinks. «How in the world does that fit in here?» So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, «How in the world did this place ... Читать далее...
3. I own the fastest carA man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on ... Читать далее...
4. An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doingAn Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, «Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.» The Mexican opened ... Читать далее...
5. Mexican SmugglerJuan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answers Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод сленгового выражения piss off, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: piss off Сленговое выражение: piss off Груб. Перевод: уходить, убираться, проваливать Пример: Piss off and stop bothering me! Проваливай, хватит мне мешать!...
7. Значение идиомы piss off[piss off] {v.}, {slang}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} To bother; annoy;irritate. You really piss me off when you talk like that. -[pissed off] {adj.} Why act so pissed off just because I made apass at you?...
8. A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a pissA guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. «Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы side by side[side by side] {adv.} 1. One beside the other in a row. Alice’sdolls were lined up side by side on the window seat. Charles andJohn are neighbors; they live side by side on Elm Street. Compare:SHOULDER TO SHOULDER. 2. Close together. The two boys played sideby side all afternoon....
10. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bedLittle Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, «Whatcha doin’ Daddy?» Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. «Oh, I’m just ... Читать далее...
11. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
12. A Mexican, a black, and a white guyA Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says «whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me». So the white guy says «I love liver and cheese.» she says «that’s not good enough.» The black ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова buildingBuilding — здание, строение Перевод слова Building engineer — инженер-строитель building construction — строительство public building — общественное здание The clouds are Building up. Тучи собираются. The Building is unsafe. Здание является небезопасным. Fire gutted the Building. Огонь полностью уничтожил все внутри здания. Происхождение слова building Образовано от слова...
14. Edward walks out of a barEdward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. «Can I help you, fella?», asks the cop. «Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!» Edward replies. The cop asks, «Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?». «It ... Читать далее...
15. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы side[side] See: CHOOSE UP SIDES, FROM SIDE TO SIDE, GET UP ON THE WRONGSIDE OF THE BED, GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEFENCE or GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL, LAUGHON THE WRONG SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, ON ONE’S BAD SIDE, ON ONE’S GOODSIDE, ON THE ... Читать далее...
17. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
18. What is your nameWalking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he muses. «How in hell does that fit in here?» So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind ... Читать далее...
19. Stolen CarStolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, «Can I help you, sir?» «Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!» the man replies. The cop asks, «Where was your car the last time you saw it?» «It ... Читать далее...
20. A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet themA girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. «What’s your name?» she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers «My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.» She goes up to the second dog and asks «What’s your name?» The ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы on the side[on the side] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. In addition to a mainthing, amount or quantity; extra. He ordered a hamburger withonions and French fries on the side. His job at the hospital didnot pay much, so he found another on the side. The cowboys in therodeo competed for prize money and also made bets on ... Читать далее...
22. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
23. Пословица / поговорка grass is always greener on the other side of the fence / grass is greener on the other side — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: grass is always greener on the other side of the fence / grass is greener on the other side Перевод: хорошо там, где нас нет Пример: My cousin is always looking for a new job. For her the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Моя двоюродная сестра ... Читать далее...
24. A man goes to a psychiatristA man goes to a psychiatrist. To start things off, the psychiatrist suggests they start with a Rorschach Test. He holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. «A man and a woman making love in a park,» the man replies. The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the ... Читать далее...
25. The Presidential watchesA man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called «the George Bush Watch» and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says — «you are suppose to read his lips». He then looks at a watch called the «Ross Perot Watch» ... Читать далее...
26. Some very common traits in two drunksA man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. «Why of course,» comes the reply. The first man then asks: «Where are you from?» «I’m from Ireland,» replies the second man. The first man responds: «You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s ... Читать далее...
27. A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a barA man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. «Why of course,» comes the reply. The first man then asks: «Where are you from?» «I’m from Ireland,» replies the second man. The first man responds: «You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s ... Читать далее...
28. A vacationing penguin is driving through ArizonaA vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. ... Читать далее...
29. You can’t bring that dog in this barA man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says «You can’t bring that dog in here!» The guy, without missing a beat, says «This is my seeing-eye dog.» «Oh man, » the bartender says, «I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы on one’s good side[on one’s good side] or [on the good side of one] {adj. phr.},{informal} Friendly with someone; liked by a person. John thoughtthat he would get a good grade if he got on the good side of theteacher. Successful workers stay on the good side of theirbosses. Contrast: ON ONE’S BAD SIDE....
31. Перевод слова sideSide — сторона, стенка; боковой, побочный Перевод слова The sides of a house — боковые стены дома a side opposite an angle — сторона, противолежащая углу side entrance — боковой вход side payment — побочный заработок A cube has six Sides. У куба шесть граней. Which Side are you on? На чьей вы стороне? He ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы on one’s bad side[on one’s bad side] or [on the bad side of one] {adj. phr.},{informal} Not liked by someone; not friendly with a person. Sally’s boyfriend got on Father’s bad side by keeping Sally out toolate after the dance. Contrast: ON ONE’S GOOD SIDE....
33. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
34. Tommy goes into a confessional box and saysTommy goes into a confessional box and says, «Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.» The Priest says, «Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says «Yes father, it’s me.» The Priest says «Who was the woman you were with?» Tommy says «I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t ... Читать далее...
35. Getting in an accidentA Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, «So you’re a ... Читать далее...
36. Four nuns arrived at the gates of heavenFour nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says:»I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.» St. Peter says:»You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in.» The second says:»I have to confess, I held mans penis in both hands.» ... Читать далее...
37. Punishment in hellA man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, «Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.» ... Читать далее...
38. Designing a BuildingKathy: Seeing these Blueprints really Brings this project to life. I can now Envision what this building will look like when it’s built. Brett: I’m really glad. As the Architect on this project, it’s my job to turn your ideas into Design. Kathy: You did a great job. Brett: I had the help of the ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы side against[side against] {v.} To join or be on the side that is against;disagree with; oppose. Bill and Joe sided against me in theargument. We sided against the plan to go by plane. Contrast:SIDE WITH....
40. Значение идиомы get up on the wrong side of the bed[get up on the wrong side of the bed] {v. phr.}, {informal} Toawake with a bad temper. Henry got up on the wrong side of the bedand wouldn’t eat breakfast. The man went to bed very late and gotup on the wrong side of the bed....