Small World

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1. Slow golfers aheadJoe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы sand trap[sand trap] {n.} A low place on a golf course that is filled withsand to stop the ball. The golfer lost four strokes trying to getthe ball out of the sand trap....
3. A little delusionThe weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore ... Читать далее...
4. GolfingA foursome is waiting at the men’s tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова golfGolf — гольф Перевод слова Round of golf — партия гольфа golf match — матч по гольфу devotion to golf — увлечение гольфом He is off playing Golf. Он уехал играть в гольф. He’s a real Golf fiend. Он по настоящему страстный любитель гольфа. Geoff went off to play Golf. Джефф пошел играть в гольф. ... Читать далее...
6. Definite laws of golfLAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed ... Читать далее...
7. In a long line of people waiting for a bank tellerIn a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, «Just what the hell you are doing?» «Well,» said the guy, «you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы go halfway[go halfway] or [go halfway to meet one] or [meet one halfway] {v. phr.} To give up part of what you want or to do your share in reachingan agreement with someone. Our neighbors are willing to go halfwayto meet us and pay their share for a fence between our houses. Bobwants to make up ... Читать далее...
9. Bad Pickup LinesMy friend and I were at a restaurant waiting for our Dates to arrive. We sat at the bar and tried to Get The Bartender’s Attention to order a couple of drinks. My friend, Tanya, is very pretty. She is always being Hit on By men. So, It was no surprise that Five minutes after ... Читать далее...
10. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf proOnce the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. «But,» said the duffer, «since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.» The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова trapTrap — ловушка, капкан, западня Перевод слова To set a booby trap — поставить ловушку police trap — полицейская западня tank trap — противотанковая ловушка He fell right into the Trap. Он упал прямо в западню. There’s no way out! We’re Trapped! Здесь нет выхода! Мы в ловушке! Amanda felt that marriage was a Trap. ... Читать далее...
12. Incredible golf ballA golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, «Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!» The golfer, annoyed, says, «What is it?» «It’s a special golf ball,» says the salesman. «You can never lose ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова roughRough — неровный, шершавый; грубый; необработанный Перевод слова Rough road — ухабистая дорога rough paper — шероховатая бумага rough food — грубая пища rough leather — невыделанная кожа rough manners — грубые манеры, неотесанность a rough temper — жесткий характер Her hands felt Rough. Ее руки были шершавые. He is Rough to deal with. С ... Читать далее...
14. Picking a FightI was sitting at my local bar waiting for my friends to arrive to watch the game. Two guys sitting a few seats away kept giving me strange looks, and one of them said, “What are you looking at?” I looked around to make sure that he was speaking to me, and before I could ... Читать далее...
15. THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLETHERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, «I THINK I’LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKE A BATH.» SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHE HAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE ... Читать далее...
16. Buying some golf ballsA blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. «I can’t find any green golf balls,» the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are ... Читать далее...
17. The Pope took a philosophy professorThe Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the ... Читать далее...
18. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heavenWhen the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. «Sorry, old man,» Peter said, «But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.» «Oh, yes. I’ll never ... Читать далее...
19. A game of golfA man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. «Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,» replied his friend. «Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. ... Читать далее...
20. Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole atRalph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said, «Since you destroyed ... Читать далее...
21. Here is this guy who really takes care of his bodyHere is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the ... Читать далее...
22. Crossing the borderWhile crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. «What’s in the bags?», asked the guard. «Sand,» said the cyclist. «Get them off — we’ll take a look,» said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, ... Читать далее...
23. The golf courseA man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, «I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you ... Читать далее...
24. The room was full of pregnant ladiesThe room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, «Ladies, exercise is good for you. ... Читать далее...
25. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
26. A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golfA fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, ... Читать далее...
27. Save the dead rabbitA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
28. Hair sprayA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова sandSand — песок, засыпать песком Перевод слова To blanket the fire with sand — засыпать огонь песком sand-blast cleaning — пескоструйная очистка corn of sand — песчинка I have Sand in my shoe. У меня песок в ботинках. Water permeates Sand easily. Вода легко проходит сквозь песок. The new Renault comes in black, silver, blue ... Читать далее...
30. Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycleJuan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answered Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ... Читать далее...
31. Mexican SmugglerJuan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, «What’s in the bags?» «Sand,» answers Juan. The guard says, «We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.» The guard takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them ... Читать далее...
32. Beautiful — in a sentenceThe teacher says, «Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is «beautiful». Little Sally, would you please come up here and use «beautiful» in a sentence?» Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for ... Читать далее...
33. The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woodsThe duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club professional had been watching. «What club should ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы round off[round off] {v.} 1. To make round or curved. John decided toround off the corners of the table he was making so that no one wouldbe hurt by bumping them. 2. To change to the nearest whole number. The teacher said to round off the averages. 3. To end in asatisfactory way; put a finishing ... Читать далее...
35. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
36. The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stageThe world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundreds of people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end. He’s saying, «You’re all in my power…you’re all in my power..» Fifteen hundred people are going, «Oooo…» He starts to say it again, «You’re all in my…», when he accidentally drops the ... Читать далее...
37. GolfA golf course Golf courses have different sizes and shapes. Most of them have 18 holes that are between a hundred and 500 metres long. If you have finished playing all 18 holes you have played a round of golf. Each hole has a starting place, called a tee. This is a small area from ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы rough-and-tumble[rough-and-tumble] 1. {n.} Very rough, hard fighting or arguingthat does not follow any rules. There was a rough-and-tumble on thestreet last night between some soldiers and sailors. Many peopledon’t like the rough-and-tumble of politics. 2. {adj.} Fighting orarguing in a very rough and reckless way; struggling hard; notfollowing rules or laws. It took strong men ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы dash light[dash light] {n.} A light on the front inside of a car or vehicle. Henry stopped the car and turned on the dash lights to read the road map....
40. More neighborhood jokesThey had a ‘witchy’ old lady next door that was constantly complaining about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought. Juvenile as we all were, they ... Читать далее...