Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country

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1. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
2. Перевод слова salesman Salesman – продавец, торговец Перевод слова He is a born salesman – он прирожденный коммерсант aggressive salesman – напористый торговый агент car salesman – продавец машин I really dislike this Salesman. Мне категорически не нравится этот продавец. The Salesman measured off three metres of the wood. Продавец отмерил три метра дерева. The Salesman will call […]...
3. A ventriloquist was driving in the country A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour. As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he’d have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk. The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the […]...
4. A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders […]...
5. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with […]...
6. A talking horse A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over??5 million. I keep my […]...
7. A city boy was visiting the country and A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy […]...
8. A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in […]...
9. Perot corn Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, “Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?” The second farmer replies,”No I ain’t.” The first farmer says, “Yeah, it’s a big yielding variety. The stalk don’t grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!”...
10. A bus filled with politicians was driving through the A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next […]...
11. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
12. Перевод слова hear Hear – слышать, услышать, слушать Перевод слова To hear a loud sound – услышать громкий звук there was nothing to be heard – ничего не было слышно she can’t hear very well – она не очень хорошо слышит glad to hear it – рад это слышать He is dull of Hearing. Он плохо слышит. Can […]...
13. A miserable rooster A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes […]...
14. Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, “My, Farmer Petrovich, you’re certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn’t do that to your wife, would you?” The farmer says, “I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to […]...
15. Having Hearing Problems Bernadette: Why are you Mumbling? Claude: I’m not. I said, “What’s wrong with your Hearing?” Bernadette: Nothing is wrong with my hearing. You just need To speak up. Claude: I’m Practically shouting. You need to see a doctor about your Hearing loss. Bernadette: I’m not Hard of hearing. It’s probably just a Buildup of Earwax. […]...
16. These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home […]...
17. Read – it’s fun An elderly gentleman… Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor who was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is […]...
18. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
19. A life-long city man, tired of the rat race A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a […]...
20. A caring son It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like […]...
21. Travel with a horse An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer […]...
22. Перевод слова farmer Farmer – фермер Перевод слова Cattle farmer – скотовод, владелец животноводческой фермы collective farmer – колхозник truck farmer – огородник They work for a Farmer. Они работают у фермера. The Farmer cut at the snake with a stick. Фермер ударил змею палкой. The Farmer hitched the cart to his best horse. Фермер впряг в телегу […]...
23. Значение идиомы put an end to [put an end to] or [put a stop to] {v. phr.} 1. To make end; stop; end. The farmer built an electric fence around his fieldto put an end to trespassing. The principal said that running inthe halls was dangerous, and told the teachers to put a stop to it. 2. To destroy or kill. […]...
24. This guy was driving down the highway This guy was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the cops. The cop asked the man for his name and the guy replied, “Earl.” “You got a last name, Earl?” “Nope. It’s a long story, Officer.” “I got time.” Earl sighs and says, “Well, Officer, at first I was known as Earl […]...
25. Jokes about Dumb Irishmen The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. […]...
26. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
27. Bad luck finding a place to hide A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight.” The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink […]...
28. Types of Views Andrea: Help me decide on which type of hotel room To book. George: I want the one with a bed. Andrea: Very funny. We have a choice of different views, and each one is a different price. For instance, a room with a City view is $175 a night and a Panoramic view is $275 […]...
29. Перевод слова highway Highway – шоссе, магистраль Перевод слова Highway engineer – дорожный инженер express highway – скоростная трасса limited-access highway – дорога с ограниченным проездом Cars whooshed along the Highway. Автомобили мчались вдоль шоссе. Тhe Highway was lined with signboards Шоссе было размечено дорожными знаками. The great sea on the west is the natural Highway of commerce. […]...
30. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, “I did that by accident.” She replied, “I know that, daddy.” He replied, “How’d you know?” The girl said, “Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!”...
31. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front […]...
32. Losing a Passport While Traveling Nina: Oh, my God! I can’t find my Passport. I never should have put it in my purse. I’m sure a Pickpocket took it. Serge: Calm down. Maybe you just Misplaced it. Let’s Turn out all of your pockets and search for it before we Panic. Nina: I know it’s gone. I know it! Flag […]...
33. Incredible golf ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose […]...
34. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
35. Sister Margaret died Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!” She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on it. The next day the nun didn’t hear from Saint Peter so she called him again. […]...
36. Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their “standards.” So he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, drive the […]...
37. A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
38. You could Feed them a lot Faster There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would […]...
39. Going to a Concert II (Fast) My friend Ben and I have been waiting a month to see our favorite band in concert. This was the night. We were so excited. In a small Venue like the Whiskey, there wouldn’t be a Bad seat in the house. So, we get to the Whiskey really early to find Street parking and Snagged […]...
40. A hearing problem An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20′ behind her and asked “Can you hear me sweetheart”?. No reply. Moved to 10′ and inquired again. No reply. 5′ and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked “Can you hear me now honey”? His wife said “For the […]...