Playgirl Rejection Letter

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1. Rejection Letter Reject Ever wonder what to do when those rejection letters start piling up? Well here’s a suggestion: – – – – – – – – – – – – – Cut Here – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – [Date Today] Dear Mr. Kennelly: Thank you […]...
2. Перевод слова anniversary Anniversary – годовщина, юбилей Перевод слова Anniversary present – подарок к юбилею anniversary card – поздравление с юбилеем fifth anniversary – пятилетие She forgot all about their Anniversary. Она совсем забыла о своем юбилее. Her absentminded husband forgot their Anniversary. Ее рассеянный муж забыл об их годовщине....
3. Life is cruel What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful […]...
4. Значение идиомы x-rated [x-rated] {adj.}, {slang}, {informal} Pertaining to movies, magazines, and literature judged pornographic and therefore off limitsfor minors. My son celebrated his 21st birthday by going to anx-rated movie....
5. Значение идиомы silver anniversary [silver anniversary] or [wedding] {n. phr.} The twenty-fifthwedding anniversary of a couple; the twenty-fifth anniversary of abusiness or an association, etc. “The day after tomorrow is Mom andDad’s silver anniversary,” Sue said to her brother. “I hope you have anice present picked out.”...
6. Understanding Men and Women Lucy: Jeff, Here’s a question. I was Just talking to Dawn. You know, they had their first Wedding anniversary last week. Guess what her husband gave her as a present. Jeff: I don’t know. What? Lucy: He gave her a Vacuum cleaner. Jeff: Didn’t she want a vacuum cleaner? Lucy: Yes, the old one was […]...
7. Перевод идиомы x-rated, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: x-rated Перевод: непристойный, неприличный, порнографический (обычно о фильмах, журналах, и т. п.) Пример: This film should be X-rated; it’s not suitable for children. Этот фильм непристойного содержания, его нельзя показывать детям....
8. Three people were standing on the Titanic Three people were standing on the Titanic, An American, a Brit and an belgian. It was almost sinking. The captain told everyone to go into the liveboats. The Brit yelled “Women and children first”. The American said “Screw the women and children” and the Belgian answered “Huh, do we have enough time left to do […]...
9. Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269 Dear John Doe, We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS. Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not […]...
10. For their 25th wedding anniversary For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, “This was the most wonderful gift I could have […]...
11. Перевод слова perform Perform – выполнять, совершать, исполнять Перевод слова To perform a religious ceremony – совершать религиозный обряд to perform an exploit – совершать подвиг perform a function – выполнять функцию Our team Performed very well in the match. Наша команда очень хорошо выступила в матче. How well your daughter Performs on the piano! Как хорошо играет […]...
12. African roulette A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” The American […]...
13. Ne day, this man, Tony, died One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could […]...
14. Перевод слова picture Picture – картина, рисунок, изображение Перевод слова Picture book – иллюстрированная книга to draw a grim picture – нарисовать мрачную картину famous picture – знаменитая картина She is just a Picture. Она прямо как с картинки. You have Pictured her very vividly. Вы очень живо нарисовали ее. The Picture hung askew. Картина висела криво. Примеры […]...
15. Three guys were sitting in a bar talking Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the […]...
16. Значение идиомы the picture [the picture] {n.} The way things are or were; the facts aboutsomething; the situation; what happened or happens. Where doesSusan come into the picture. When you are looking for a job youreducation enters into the picture. Old Mr. Brown is out of thepicture now and his son runs the store. After the fight on theplayground, […]...
17. Marriage quotes 15 All marriages are happy – it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me […]...
18. Перевод слова widow Widow – вдова Перевод слова To console a widow – утешать вдову opulent widow – богатая вдова widow’s allowance – вдовье пособие war widow – вдова убитого на войне He tried to hook a well-off Widow. Он пытался подцепить какую-нибудь состоятельную вдову. The war Widowed many women in the former Yugoslavia Война оставила вдовами многих […]...
19. Marriage quotes 12 Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. – W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled […]...
20. The Letter D Pulls Out LETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet NEW YORK–A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a Children’s Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the show’s cast. “The letter D is proud to […]...
21. Letter to a shrink Dear Shrink, It haunted me for days, weeks, months, years. I couldn’t sleep at night. The sleep I got was full of nightmares and visions. I fought bout after bout, fight after fight, with plagues of depression and insomnia; paranoia! Just the thought vexed me night after night, day after day. I served stints in […]...
22. Chain Letter Type lI Chain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!! (This is where you have to scroll down) Really, go on and make one wish!!! Oh please, s/he’ll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!! Not *that* either, you pervert!! Is your finger getting tired yet? You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!! Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made […]...
23. Letter from Daughter to Parents Dear Mother and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO […]...
24. Buy machine factory An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building. “Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.” “Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, […]...
25. A letter to John Hinkley Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D. C. Dear John, Hillary and I just wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is […]...
26. A Letter from Account Receivables DATE COMPANY ADDRESS CITY, STATE, ZIP Attention: _____________________ Dear ____________________, Will you get off your dead ass and take care of your obligations! We are still holding the insufficient check that we called you on over a month ago. I know you told me you were waiting to get paid for a job that was […]...
27. Chain Letter Type III Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen […]...
28. The complaint letter from Judi The complaint letter from Judi: We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this […]...
29. Chain Letter Type IV As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends. Friends – A friend is someone who is always at your side, – A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog, – A friend is someone who likes you […]...
30. Tooth Fairy Form Letter Dear ____________: Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night. While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below: ( ) the tooth could not be found ( ) […]...
31. Reading Product Reviews Dominic: Do you want some help with that box? Andrea: Sure, thanks. Dominic: What is it? Andrea: It’s a new TV. My old one has been On the fritz for a week and I needed a new one. Dominic: Is this a Highly-rated model? Andrea: Highly-rated? I just went to the electronics store and bought […]...
32. Reading Product Reviews Dominic: Do you want some help with that box? Andrea: Sure, thanks. Dominic: What is it? Andrea: It’s a new TV. My old one has been On the fritz for a week and I needed a new one. Dominic: Is this a Highly-rated model? Andrea: Highly-rated? I just went to the electronics store and bought […]...
33. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the […]...
34. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. […]...
35. The medical student was asked four reasons The medical student was asked four reasons why mother’s milk was better for babies than cow’s milk. This is the answer he submitted: 1. It’s fresher. 2. It’s cleaner. 3. The cats can’t get to it. 4. It’s easier to take on a picnic. He also added: “It comes in such cute containers.”...
36. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. […]...
37. Перевод слова American American – американский, американец Перевод слова American states – американские государства; страны американского континента American colonies – английские колонии в Северной Америке of American make – американского производства Her mother is American. Ее мать – американка. She spoke with an American accent. Она говорила с американским акцентом. Интересные факты Обратите внимание, что в английском языке […]...
38. Slow golfers ahead Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. […]...
39. A little boy walks up to his father and says A little boy walks up to his father and says, “Dad, what does a pussy look like?” Father responds, “well son, before or after sex?” Son, “Well, before?” Father, “picture a tulip with all the petals son.” Son, “well what about after?” Father, “Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!”...
40. At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women: Defendant: “Your Honor, I wish to change my plea.” Judge: “Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?” Defendant: “No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn’t know there would be women on the jury. Since […]...