Piano
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What key is “Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight” written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away?
A: Root position cords.
A note left for a pianist from his wife
Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
Related topics:
- Перевод слова piano Piano – фортепьяно, пианино Перевод слова Piano pedal – педаль фортепиано piano player – пианист piano quartet – фортепьянный квартет He sang and she accompanied him on the Piano. Он пел, а она аккомпанировала ему на фортепьяно. The Piano is out of tune. Пианино расстроено. My kid sister plays Piano. Моя маленькая сестренка играет на […]...
- Organ Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse? A: They are always longing for another stop. Q: Why are a organist’s fingers like lightning? A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice. Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat miner. Q: What do […]...
- Значение идиомы let off steam [let off steam] or [blow off steam] {v. phr.} 1. To let or makesteam escape; send out steam. The janitor let off some steambecause the pressure was too high. 2. {informal} To get rid ofphysical energy or strong feeling through activity; talk or be veryactive physically after forced quiet. After the long ride on thebus, […]...
- The Army Airborne major was used to harassment The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]...
- Перевод слова steam Steam – пар, мчаться Перевод слова To bleed steam – стравливать пар to blow with steam – продувать паром he steamed out of the room – он бросился вон из комнаты Boiling water gives off Steam. От кипящей воды идет пар. He was lacking in Steam. Ему не хватало куража. The windows have Steamed over, […]...
- Перевод сленгового выражения blow off steam, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: blow off steam Перевод: выпустить пар, дать волю злости, снять напряжение Синоним: vent Пример: Rob screams and yells a lot. He should find some other way to blow off steam. Роб слишком много кричит и орет. Ему следует найти другой способ выпустить пар. Playing sports after school helps students blow off steam. Занятия […]...
- A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a […]...
- Значение идиомы blow a fuse [blow a fuse] or [blow a gasket] or [blow one’s top] or [blow one’s stack] {v. phr.}, {slang} To become extremely angry; express rage in hot words. When Mr. McCarthy’s son got married against his wishes, he blew a fuse. When the umpire called Joe out at first, Joe blew his top and was sent […]...
- A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
- There was a man and woman traveling along in their car There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says “Did you know you were speeding back there.” The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband “What did he say, what did […]...
- Test for being drunk A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.” The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have […]...
- The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
- A man says to his wife A man says to his wife, “Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.” Wife says, “I dont want to go.” Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, “It tastes like sh*t. Man says, […]...
- Question answer 04 What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic! Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence? A flat back four! Why did […]...
- Перевод слова sharp Sharp – острый, отточенный, острие Перевод слова Sharp bend – крутой изгиб sharp blade – острое лезвие sharp eye – острый взгляд the sharp of the hand – ребро ладони I felt a Sharp pain in my lower back. Я почувствовал острую боль в нижней части спины. John’s tone was Sharp. Тон Джона был резким. […]...
- Значение идиомы take root [take root] {v. phr.} 1. To form roots so as to be able to live andgrow. We hope the transplanted apple trees will take root. 2. Tobe accepted; to be adopted; to live and succeed in a new place. Many European customs failed to take root in the New World. Theimmigrants to our country took […]...
- Значение идиомы brass hat [brass hat] {n.}, {slang} 1. A high officer in the army, navy, or air force. The brass hats In Washington often discuss important secrets. 2. Any person who has a high position in business, politics, or other work. Mr. Woods, the rich oil man, is a political brass hat....
- A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
- Now he’s in trouble A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, “what’s the problem officer?” To which the policeman responded, “I stopped you for running that red light behind you.” Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and […]...
- Перевод слова root Root – корень, основание Перевод слова Root of congruence – корень сравнения to evaluate the root – находить корень to root out evil – искоренять зло The problem Roots in her depression. Корнем проблемы является ее депрессия. She stumbled over the tree Root. Она споткнулась о корень дерева. Her Roots are in Canada. Ее предки […]...
- The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General’s early retirement bonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to […]...
- At an Amusement Park My brother, his wife, and their two daughters are in town and I had promised the girls that I would take them to an Amusement park. I don’t really like Roller coasters, but I knew the kids would like it. On Saturday morning, we drove down to the Theme park. We parked and took a […]...
- A Short History of Medicine I have an earache… 2000 B. C. – Here, eat this root. 1000 A. D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. – That pill […]...
- Перевод слова officer Officer – офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer – помощник должностного лица customs officer – таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer – офицер запаса flying control officer – диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of […]...
- Значение идиомы blow one’s top [blow one’s top] {v. phr.} To become very excited, angry, hysterical, or furious. “No need to blow your top, Al,” his wife said, “just because you lost a few dollars.”...
- There were these three morticians talking about There were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats. The first one says, “I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!” The next guy says, “oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run […]...
- Going Through Customs Customs Officer: Your Passports, please. What is your Final destination? Ozkan: Los Angeles. Customs Officer: How long is your Stay? Ozkan: We’ll be there for a week. Customs Officer: What is the purpose of your trip? Ozkan: I’m going there on Business and my family is Accompanying me on vacation. Customs Officer: Who are you […]...
- The reason for running A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give […]...
- They are stopped by the police John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.” Just […]...
- Значение идиомы root-bound [root-bound] {adj.} 1. Having a limited amount of space for rootgrowth. After seven or eight years day lilies become root-bound andwill not bloom well unless they are divided. 2. Liking the familiarplace where you live and not wanting to go away from it; having asentimental attachment to one place. Mr. Jones has lived inConnecticut all […]...
- Значение идиомы look sharp [look sharp] {v.} To be alert; be very attentive; keep a closewatch. It pays to look sharp in traffic. The guide told us tolook sharp because there were rattlesnakes around....
- Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
- Перевод слова position Position – положение, местонахождение, позиция Перевод слова Position data – координаты position buoy – указательный буй a high position in society – высокое положение в обществе He was appointed to the Position. Его назначили на эту должность. They are now leaning to our Position. Сейчас они склоняются на нашу сторону. The lever is in the […]...
- Too much speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say” “And I said […]...
- Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
- Значение идиомы under one’s own steam [under one’s own steam] {adv. phr.}, {informal} By one’s ownefforts; without help. The boys got to Boston under their own steamand took a bus the rest of the way. We didn’t think he could doit, but Bobby finished his homework under his own steam....
- Перевод слова flat Flat – плоский, ровный; плоскость; квартира Перевод слова Flat roof – плоская крыша cold-water flat – квартира без горячей воды the flat of the hand – ладонь A Flat stone was used as a table. Плоский камень использовался в качестве стола. The Flat was so cute. Квартира была так хороша. Work on a clean, Flat […]...
- Touring Washington A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?” The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. […]...
- Значение идиомы at the drop of a hat [at the drop of a hat] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. Without waiting; immediately; promptly. If you need a babysitter quickly, call Mary, because she can come at the drop of a hat. Compare: ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT. 2. Whenever you have a chance; with very little cause or urging. At the drop of […]...
- Out All Night Drinking An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat […]...