One night a man heard howls coming from his basement

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1. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to townWhen this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when ... Читать далее...
2. Her father was very angry when he heard that hisHer father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San Francisco to Washington. «For gods sake!» he screamed, «Someone could have attacked you and raped you!» «I wasn’t ever in no danger at all», she said, trying to calm him down. ... Читать далее...
3. In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish manIn Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about ... Читать далее...
4. I was walking down an alley last nightI was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, «Help! Help!» coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady’s handbag, but she putting up a Hell of a fight and wouldn’t let go. I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn’t ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы know if one is coming or going[know if one is coming or going] or [know whether one is coming orgoing] {v. phr.} To feel able to think clearly; know what to do. — Usually used in the negative or with limiters. On Monday, the carbroke down; on Tuesday, Mother broke her arm; on Wednesday, thechildren all became ill with the mumps; ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы coming and going[coming and going] or [going and coming] {adv. phr.} 1. Both ways; in both directions. The truck driver stops at the same cafe coming and going. John was late. He got punished both going and coming; his teacher punished him and his parents punished him. 2. Caught or helpless; in your power; left with no ... Читать далее...
7. A mouse and a lion walk were in a barA mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. «Get a load of her» said the mouse, «what a babe!» «Well, why not try your luck?» replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes ... Читать далее...
8. ‘Twas the Night After Christmas‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы have it coming[have it coming] {v. phr.} To deserve the good or bad things thathappen to you. I feel sorry about Jack’s failing that course, buthe had it coming to him. Everybody said that Eve had it comingwhen she won the scholarship. Compare: ASK FOR, GET WHAT’S COMING TOONE, SERVE RIGHT....
10. A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one nightA farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s breast a little feel and says,»Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.» His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, «Mother, if this ... Читать далее...
11. One night, as a couple lay down for bedThis joke sucks…. One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, «I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.» The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to ... Читать далее...
12. A poor little girl was begging in the streetA poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, «Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.» The man answers, astonished, «Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?» «I’m eight, sir.» «Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?» «Since I ... Читать далее...
13. The story with the moralIn the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, «Gosh! If I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.» There was a fish in the water ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы not to know whether one is coming or going[not to know whether one is coming or going] {v. phr.} To becompletely confused. He was so perplexed he didn’t know whether hewas coming or going. Compare: AT SEA....
15. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод идиомы not to know if / whether one is coming or going, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: not to know if / whether one is coming or going Перевод: быть в замешательстве, совсем запутаться; не знать, что происходит; голова идет кругом Пример: The new sales manager does not know if he is coming or going. Новый менеджер по продажам совсем запутался. If you believe the cult leaders, you won’t know whether ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы up-and-coming[up-and-coming] {adj. phr.} Bound toward success; upwardly mobile;progressive; ambitious. The newly elected state senator is anup-and-coming young politician who is expected to be highly successfulin national politics in the future....
18. On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were havingOn the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed ... Читать далее...
19. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы get what’s coming to one[get what’s coming to one] or {slang} [get one’s] {v. phr.} Toreceive the good or bad that you deserve; get what is due to you; getyour share. At the end of the movie the villain got what was comingto him and was put in jail. John didn’t think he was getting whatwas coming to him, ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы coming out party[coming out party] {n. phr.} A debutante party in which a young girl is formally introduced to society. Coming out parties used to be more popular in the early twentieth century than nowadays, primarily because they cost a lot of money....
22. Значение идиомы children should be seen and not heard[children should be seen and not heard] A command issued by adults to children ordering them to be quiet and not to interrupt. — A proverb. Your children should not argue so loudly. Haven’t you taught them that children should be seen and not heard?...
23. Перевод идиомы have it coming (to someone), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: have it coming (to someone) Перевод: заслуживать того, что случилось Пример: He really has it coming after causing many problems in his company. Он на самом деле заслуживает наказания за то, что вызвал так много проблем в своей компании....
24. Перевод слова nightNight — ночь Перевод слова A blusterous windy night — штормовая ветреная ночь a clear night — ясная, звездная ночь the cope of night — покров ночи day and night — круглосуточно He’s on Night duty. Он на ночном дежурстве. It poured all Night. Ливень шел всю ночь. He yawned good Night. Он, зевая, произнес: ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод идиомы the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: рассвет или время перед рассветом; часы после полуночи Пример: My father likes to read the newspaper in the small hours of the night. Моему отцу нравится читать газеты по ночам....
26. A regular Friday night poker gameA regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report. «Roger, listen,» he told the host, «Walter’s in the kitchen making love to your wife.» «OK, that’s it, guys,» Roger said. «This is positively the last deal.»...
27. I think I try a nicer approachEvery night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы day and night[day and night] or [night and day] {adv.} 1. For days without stopping; continually. Syn.: AROUND THE CLOCK. Some filling stations on great highways are open day and night 365 days a year. The three men took turns driving the truck, and they drove night and day for three days. 2. Every day and every ... Читать далее...
29. An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ftAn Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: «Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..» The eagle says «what ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы night owl[night owl] {n. phr.} One who sleeps during the day and stays up orworks during the night. Tom hardly ever sleeps at night; he prefersto work by lamp light and has become a regular night owl. Compare:GRAVEYARD SHIFT....
31. A bloke wakes up in the middle of the nightA bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife’s throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, «What the fuck are you doing?» «Just giving you an aspirin for your headache.» The bloke answered. «But I ain’t got a headache,» she yelled ... Читать далее...
32. Пословица / поговорка children should be seen and not heard — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: children should be seen and not heard Перевод: детей должно быть видно, но не слышно Пример: The woman believed that children should be seen and not heard. And her children were always very quiet. Эта женщина считала, что детей должно быть видно, но не слышно. И ее дети всегда были очень тихими....
33. Упражнения «Множественное число» (с ответами)1. Найдите неверные варианты множественного числа существительных и дайте правильный вариант. Н-р: potatos – potatoes (картофель), mans – men (мужчины) Fishes (рыбы) knifes (ножи) families (семьи) kisses (поцелуи) Womans (женщины) tooths (зубы) foots (стопы) boxes (коробки) Mouses (мыши) wives (жены) citys (города) tomatos (помидоры) Sheep (овцы) wishs (желания) children (дети) countrys (страны) 2. Напишите множественное ... Читать далее...
34. Three mice are sitting in a bar talkingThree mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, «I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.» And with ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова confidenceConfidence — уверенность, доверие Перевод слова Growing confidence — растущее доверие to have confidence in the future — быть уверенным в будущем to express confidence — выразить доверие He had perfect Confidence in her ability to succeed. Он не сомневался в том, что она добьется успеха. The class gave me more Confidence. Учебный курс придал ... Читать далее...
36. Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voicesMorris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said ‘N I L’. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in the Sky. ... Читать далее...
37. There was this boy in high school that was what you would callThere was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said «Dad look what I made.» So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass ... Читать далее...
38. A man was walking in the street when he heard a voiceA man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: «Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.» The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile ... Читать далее...
39. An ant and an elephant share a night of romanceAn ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. «Damn», says the ant, «one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!»...
40. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisesLate one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked ... Читать далее...