One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed

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1. After the fall in Garden of Eden After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”...
2. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said […]...
3. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
4. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife […]...
5. Значение идиомы fall back on [fall back on] or [fall back upon] v. 1. To retreat to. Theenemy made a strong attack, and the soldiers fell back on the fort. 2. To go for help to; turn to in time of need. When the big billsfor Mother’s hospital care came, Joe was glad he had money in the bankto fall […]...
6. A man was walking down the street when he noticed A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here […]...
7. Remember a child A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my […]...
8. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
9. Перевод слова fall Fall – падать, терять положение; осень Перевод слова The fall of an apple – падение яблока the curtain falls – занавес падает fall fashions – осенние моды The tree was about to Fall. Дерево чуть не упало. He Fell back onto the bed. Он упал обратно на кровать. My birthday Falls on Sunday. Мой день […]...
10. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
11. There was a drunk man walking down the street turning There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
12. Пословица / поговорка pride comes before a fall / pride goes before a fall – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: pride comes before a fall / pride goes before a fall Перевод: гордыня до добра не доведет; дьявол гордился, да с неба свалился Эквивалент в русском языке: кто слишком высоко летает, тот низко падает Пример: The president of the company was arrogant about his business practices. However, pride comes before a fall […]...
13. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
14. Перевод идиомы fall into place / fall in place, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: fall into place / fall in place Перевод: стать на свои места; приобрести смысл, сделаться понятным Пример: Everything fell into place and we were able to prepare for our trip to Brazil. Все стало на свои места, и мы смогли подготовиться к поездке в Бразилию....
15. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
16. The Big Scare Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: “I’m afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me.”...
17. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the […]...
18. A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. “Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and […]...
19. Значение идиомы riding for a fall [riding for a fall] {adj. phr.} Behaving in an overconfident waythat is likely to lead to trouble; being too sure of yourself; doingsomething dangerous. The student who does not study for exams isriding for a fall. Mr. Smith has borrowed too much money on hishome. He is riding for a fall. Compare: COME A CROPPER....
20. Значение идиомы let the chips fall where they may [let the chips fall where they may] {v. phr.} To pay no attentionto the displeasure caused others by your actions. The senatordecided to vote against the bill and let the chips fall where theymay. The police chief told his men to give tickets to all speedersand let the chips fall where they may. Compare: COME […]...
21. Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. – Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; […]...
22. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
23. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
24. Over my dead body! A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, “Over my dead body!” He downed his drink and replied, “Well, I see you haven’t changed one little bit.”...
25. Значение идиомы fall out [fall out] {v.} 1. To happen. As it fell out, the Harpers wereable to sell their old car. Compare: TURN OUT. 2. To quarrel;fight; fuss; disagree. The thieves fell out over the division ofthe loot. 3. To leave a military formation. You men are dismissed. Fall out! Contrast: FALL IN. 4. To leave a building […]...
26. The couple was dining out when the wife noticed The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned […]...
27. Is this really your third marriage? Sure is. What happened to your first two wives? They died. How did your first wife die? She ate some poisonous mushrooms. What about your second wife? She died from a severe skull fracture. How did she get a skull fracture? She wouldn’t eat the mushrooms....
28. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
29. A push A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to […]...
30. Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
31. PUPPY LOVE A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being […]...
32. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. “What’s this,” […]...
33. Значение идиомы fall guy [fall guy] {n.}, {slang} The “patsy” in an illegal transaction; asucker; a dupe; the person who takes the punishment others deserve. When the Savings and Loan Bank failed, due to embezzlement, the vicepresident had to be the fall guy, saving the necks of the owners....
34. Значение идиомы fall on [fall on] or [fall upon] {v.} 1. To go and fight with; attack. The robbers fell on him from behind trees. 2. {formal} To meet. The famous poet fell upon unhappy days....
35. Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes I do know […]...
36. Ne day, this man, Tony, died One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could […]...
37. Childhood Diseases Childhood Diseases Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. “What happened to you feet?” his wife asked. “I had a childhood disease called tolio.” “Don’t you mean polio?” “No, tolio, it only […]...
38. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. “It did? I’m sorry to hear that,” she replied. Two days later, Mr. […]...
39. Значение идиомы fall for [fall for] {v.}, {slang} 1. To begin to like very much. Dickfell for baseball when he was a little boy. 2. To begin to love Helen was a very pretty girl and people were notsurprised that Bill fell for her. 3. To believe Nell did not fall for Joe’s story about being a jetpilot....
40. Last minute requests A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his […]...