One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. «My wife,» the man replied. «I’m sorry,» said Dave. «What happened to her?» «My dog bit her and she died.» Dave then asked who was in the second hearse. The man replied, «My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.» «Can I borrow your dog?» «Get in line.» replied the man.
Education in belarus тема по английскому.
Английские зимние праздники.
Related topics:
- One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little JohnnyOne Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said ... Читать далее...
- After the fall in Garden of EdenAfter the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, «What’s that?» Adam replied, «Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.»...
- A man was walking down the street when he noticedA man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. «Grandpa, what are you doing?» he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. «Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here ... Читать далее...
- Little MermaidThree fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?» She replied, «no sir!» So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, «Did you like that?» «Oh, indeed I did, ... Читать далее...
- When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longerWhen the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife ... Читать далее...
- PUPPY LOVEA man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, «Well, son, they’re making a puppy.» The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being ... Читать далее...
- This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little JohnnyThis guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s ... Читать далее...
- An Other oneThree old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’ A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s ... Читать далее...
- A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcutA drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова fallFall — падать, терять положение; осень Перевод слова The fall of an apple — падение яблока the curtain falls — занавес падает fall fashions — осенние моды The tree was about to Fall. Дерево чуть не упало. He Fell back onto the bed. Он упал обратно на кровать. My birthday Falls on Sunday. Мой день ... Читать далее...
- Make a last requestTwo men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning ... Читать далее...
- Last RequestTwo men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning ... Читать далее...
- Пословица / поговорка pride comes before a fall / pride goes before a fall — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: pride comes before a fall / pride goes before a fall Перевод: гордыня до добра не доведет; дьявол гордился, да с неба свалился Эквивалент в русском языке: кто слишком высоко летает, тот низко падает Пример: The president of the company was arrogant about his business practices. However, pride comes before a fall ... Читать далее...
- Remember a childA young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. «Pardon me,» she said, «I’m sorry if my ... Читать далее...
- Перевод идиомы fall into place / fall in place, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: fall into place / fall in place Перевод: стать на свои места; приобрести смысл, сделаться понятным Пример: Everything fell into place and we were able to prepare for our trip to Brazil. Все стало на свои места, и мы смогли подготовиться к поездке в Бразилию....
- A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a pissA guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing very softly. The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. «Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal and ... Читать далее...
- The couple was dining out when the wife noticedThe couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. «Elliot,» she said, pointing «do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?» The husband looked over and nodded. «Well,» the woman continued, «he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!» The husband returned ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall back on[fall back on] or [fall back upon] v. 1. To retreat to. Theenemy made a strong attack, and the soldiers fell back on the fort. 2. To go for help to; turn to in time of need. When the big billsfor Mother’s hospital care came, Joe was glad he had money in the bankto fall ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы riding for a fall[riding for a fall] {adj. phr.} Behaving in an overconfident waythat is likely to lead to trouble; being too sure of yourself; doingsomething dangerous. The student who does not study for exams isriding for a fall. Mr. Smith has borrowed too much money on hishome. He is riding for a fall. Compare: COME A CROPPER....
- A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeA 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы let the chips fall where they may[let the chips fall where they may] {v. phr.} To pay no attentionto the displeasure caused others by your actions. The senatordecided to vote against the bill and let the chips fall where theymay. The police chief told his men to give tickets to all speedersand let the chips fall where they may. Compare: COME ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall out[fall out] {v.} 1. To happen. As it fell out, the Harpers wereable to sell their old car. Compare: TURN OUT. 2. To quarrel;fight; fuss; disagree. The thieves fell out over the division ofthe loot. 3. To leave a military formation. You men are dismissed. Fall out! Contrast: FALL IN. 4. To leave a building ... Читать далее...
- Beware of dog!Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, «Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?» «Yep, that’s him,» ... Читать далее...
- There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impedimentThere was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked «Could I have a fucket please?» The assistant asked»Pardon sir?». «Can I have a fucket please?» Replied the man. ... Читать далее...
- Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
- Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree?Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
- A yard saleA man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall on[fall on] or [fall upon] {v.} 1. To go and fight with; attack. The robbers fell on him from behind trees. 2. {formal} To meet. The famous poet fell upon unhappy days....
- A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriendA Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. «What’s this,» ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall guy[fall guy] {n.}, {slang} The «patsy» in an illegal transaction; asucker; a dupe; the person who takes the punishment others deserve. When the Savings and Loan Bank failed, due to embezzlement, the vicepresident had to be the fall guy, saving the necks of the owners....
- Last minute requestsA man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, «Give it to me straight. How long have I got?» The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, «Call for my lawyer.» When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall for[fall for] {v.}, {slang} 1. To begin to like very much. Dickfell for baseball when he was a little boy. 2. To begin to love Helen was a very pretty girl and people were notsurprised that Bill fell for her. 3. To believe Nell did not fall for Joe’s story about being a jetpilot....
- Ne day, this man, Tony, diedOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could ... Читать далее...
- An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing homeAn old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. «It did? I’m sorry to hear that,» she replied. Two days later, Mr. ... Читать далее...
- Things Associated with AutumnErin: Smell that! Sean: Smell what? Erin: Can’t you smell the Changing of the seasons? I love Autumn. The Fall colors are out and there’s a Chill is in the air. Sean: That means I’ll be Raking leaves every weekend when I should be watching football. Erin: How can you be so Grumpy when you ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы fall over backwards[fall over backwards] or [fall over oneself] {v. phr.} To doeverything you can to please someone; try very hard to satisfysomeone. The hotel manager fell over backwards to give the moviestar everything she wanted. The boys fell over themselves tryingto get the new girl’s attention....
- There was a drunk man walking down the street turningThere was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, «Sir, what are you doing?» The drunk replied, «I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.» The police officer ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы die away[die away] or [die down] {v.} To come slowly to an end; grow slowlyness or weaker. The wind died down. The music died away. He waited until the excitement had died down. His mother’s anger died away....
- Значение идиомы fall in[fall in] or [into place] {v. phr.} To suddenly make sense; findthe natural or proper place for the missing pieces of a puzzle. When the detectives realized that a second man was seen at the placeof the murder, the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place....
- Фразовый глагол fall back on — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: fall back on Перевод: обращаться в случае необходимости, надобности Пример: Yuki can fall back on her degree in biology if she doesn’t succeed in her acting career. Йуки может рассчитывать на свою степень в биологии в случае, если она не преуспеет в актерской карьере....
One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed