No pressure

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1. Перевод слова surgerySurgery — хирургия, операция Перевод слова Plastic surgery — пластическая хирургия brain surgery — нейрохирургия open-heart surgery — операция на открытом сердце Her arm mended slowly after Surgery. После операции ее рука заживает медленно. The doctor had to perform Surgery immediately. Врачу пришлось провести операцию немедленно. He underwent Surgery to remove a blood clot. Он ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова performPerform — выполнять, совершать, исполнять Перевод слова To perform a religious ceremony — совершать религиозный обряд to perform an exploit — совершать подвиг perform a function — выполнять функцию Our team Performed very well in the match. Наша команда очень хорошо выступила в матче. How well your daughter Performs on the piano! Как хорошо играет ... Читать далее...
3. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONSHumor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO «DELICATE» OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These were not major operations. Although for most men, I Believe they would prefer triple heart bypass surgery instead… No man Alive has ever looked forward ... Читать далее...
4. A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriendA Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet. «What’s this,» ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова surgeonSurgeon — хирург, военный врач Перевод слова Plastic surgeon — пластический хирург resident surgeon — врач, живущий при больнице obstetric surgeon — акушер, акушерка surgeon’s glove — хирургическая перчатка The Surgeon clamped the vein. Хирург пережал вену. The Surgeon operated on her for appendicitis. Хирург сделал ей операцию по удалению аппендицита. My Surgeon came seasonably ... Читать далее...
6. A Routine ProcedureJulia: Aren’t you nervous about your Surgery next week? Hugh: No, it’s a Routine procedure. I don’t even need To be admitted overnight. Julia: But aren’t you going under General anesthesia? It’s not the same as Local anesthesia, you know. Hugh: Yes, I know. This is an Out-patient procedure. If the doctors don’t think I ... Читать далее...
7. A man takes his sick dog to the vetA man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto the the operating table, looks down and says «Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!» The man looks at the vet and says «The dog can’t speak». The vet says to the man «I was talking to YOU. The dog, s dead!!! Sent by Peter...
8. One doc operated on a person for a herniaOne doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. ... Читать далее...
9. When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longerWhen the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife ... Читать далее...
10. Chaim escapes from a mental hospitalChaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, «Are you Jewish?» The man says, «No.» Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, he asks, «You wouldn’t happen to be Jewish would you?» The man replies, «No!» ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова operationOperation — операция; действие, работа, функционирование Перевод слова To bear an operation satisfactorily — удовлетворительно перенести операцию to conduct welding operation — вести сварку operation from a distance — действие на расстоянии The Operation was of no effect. Операция не принесла успеха. The Operation of the pump is very simple. Этот насос очень прост в ... Читать далее...
12. A really bad, terrible mistakeFred goes to a doctor and says, «Doc, I want to be castrated.» Doc says, «Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.» Fred: «Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a little embarrassed about talking ... Читать далее...
13. Irish marriage jokesPaddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, «If you continue drinking as you do, you’ll gradually get smaller and smaller, and eventually you’ll turn into a mouse.» This frightened the life out of Paddy. He went home that night, and said ... Читать далее...
14. Peer pressure — Давление со стороны сверстников«О себе» — все топики. Peer pressure There is no doubt that negative peer pressure is one of the most burning problems in the modern world. To begin with, let us find out what peer pressure means. According to the Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary, peer pressure is the pressure that you feel to behave in ... Читать далее...
15. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cakeFor his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: «You are not getting older, You are just getting better.» When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, «Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.» It wasn’t until the ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы stand in for[stand in for] {v. phr.} To substitute for someone. The famousbrain surgeon was called out of town so his assistant had to stand infor him during the operation....
17. A whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a partyA whole gaggle of Jewish ladies at a party were discussing the problem of one of their daughters, who looked very much as though she were planning to marry a Gentile boy. Everyone was disturbed about it, and I could not help interrupting. «Why not?» said I. «Let her marry a Gentile boy. I’m all ... Читать далее...
18. Crazy Sally went to her gynecologistCrazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. «To remove that vibrator,» said the doctor, «I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation.» «I don’t think I can afford that,» said Sally. «Could you just replace the batteries?»...
19. Seeing a SpecialistI went to see my doctor because I had a Nagging pain in my leg. After he examined me and ran some Routine tests, he suggested that I go see a Specialist. I made an appointment with Dr. Sloap. Dr. Sloap: Good morning. How are you today? Simon: I’m fine, Dr. Slope. My GP, Dr. ... Читать далее...
20. I have a dream to be a doctorВ топике У меня есть мечта – стать врачом, я расскажу о том, почему я хочу получить медицинское образование, стать практикующим врачом и работать в больнице. В нашей семье мой дедушка и моя мама – врачи. Мой дедушка – хирург, он очень внимательно относится к своим пациентам и искренне радуется их выздоровлению. Я его очень ... Читать далее...
21. Is there a doctor in the house?A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, «Please, is there a doctor in the house?!» Several men stood up as the lights came on. An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, «Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a good, Jewish girl?»...
22. A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hallA woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. As she lays there, a man in white coat comes by, lifts up the sheet, and then leaves. This happens a second time. The third time this happens, she says «Doctor, am I going into surgery soon?» The man ... Читать далее...
23. A famous surgeon went on a safari in AfricaA famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. «Oh, it was very disappointing,» he said. «I didn’t kill a thing. I’d have been better off staying here in the hospital.»...
24. American University Grading ProceduresHere is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: — All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: — Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books ... Читать далее...
25. Getting Plastic SurgeryGeorge: What are you doing? Joan: I’m looking through these magazines to try and decide which Plastic surgery procedures I should have next year. George: You’re not thinking of Going under the knife. Joan: Yes, I am. I’ve always wanted to improve on the way I look, and I’m tired of these Wrinkles and Sagging ... Читать далее...
26. Mistakes on a resumeThese are from actual resumes: «Personal: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs. «I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.» «Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова pressurePressure — давление, нажим Перевод слова Normal blood pressure — нормальное давление low blood pressure — пониженное давление under the pressure of world public opinion — под давлением мирового общественного мнения He buckled under Pressure. На него надавили, и он сдался. The Pressure varies with the depth. Давление меняется в зависимости от глубины. He has ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы talk up[talk up] {v.} 1. To speak in favor or support of. Let’s talk upthe game and get a big crowd. 2. To speak plainly or clearly. Theteacher asked the student to talk up. Syn.: SPEAK UP. 3. {informal}To say what you want or think; say what someone may not like. Talkup if you want more ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы pressure group[pressure group] {n. phr.} An organization whose goal it is tocreate changes by lobbying for the benefit of its own members. Certain unscrupulous pressure groups stop at nothing to achieve theirselfish aims....
30. Cristiano Ronaldo donates $83,000 to pay for sick child’s operationCristiano Ronaldo was asked to donate his cleats for a charity auction benefitting a 10-month-old child suffering from a brain disorder. The world’s top soccer player went a little further than that. Ronaldo, the Real Madrid star who was Fifa’s Ballon d’Or winner as the world’s top player, will pay the full $83,000 cost of ... Читать далее...
31. A theological debateSeveral centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the ... Читать далее...
32. Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feelingMr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling much better since his operation, but couldn’t account for the enormous bump on the back of his head. «Oh, that,» chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. «Just before your operation they suddenly ran out of ether!»...
33. Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy HospitalMr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. «Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,» said the nun, gently patting ... Читать далее...
34. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger ladyAn older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the ... Читать далее...
35. Mysterious pictureAfter a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. «Is that your husband?» he inquired nervously. «No, silly,» she replied, snuggling up to him. «Your boyfriend then?» ... Читать далее...
36. Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotelBerkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. «Bartender,» he says, «give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab.» When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he’s at her ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова receiveReceive — получить, принимать, претерпевать Перевод слова To receive orders to march — получить приказ о выступлении to receive a black eye — заработать синяк to receive citizenship — получить гражданство to receive abuse — подвергаться нападкам We have Received your letter of the 15th May. Мы получили ваше письмо от 15 мая. How soon ... Читать далее...
38. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
39. The right way to ask a questionA Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him: Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night?...
40. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th AvenueThis 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above «You will live to be 100.» She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard «You will live to be 100.» Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years ... Читать далее...