Nice, but rough

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1. There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtleThere once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when ... Читать далее...
2. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
3. How to Catch a White ElephantHow to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian Jensen Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the ... Читать далее...
4. Refrigerate elephantsAnalysis: 1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig. 2. Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant). 3. Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem. Number theory: 1. First factorize, second multiply. 2. Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in. Algebra: 1. Step 1. Show that the ... Читать далее...
5. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungleA hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова horribleHorrible — жуткий, страшный, ужасный Перевод слова Horrible disease — страшное заболевание horrible wrong — ужасная несправедливость horrible weather — отвратительная погода horrible devastation — страшные разрушения It is Horrible to work there. Здесь отвратительно работать. Why are you so Horrible to me? Почему вы так ужасно относитесь ко мне? Her face was Horribly scarred. ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова elephantElephant — слон Перевод слова Work elephant — рабочий слон he can’t hit an elephant — он и в слона-то не попадет an elephant in a china shop — неуклюжий и бестактный человек The passerby was trampled by an Elephant. Прохожего затоптал слон. They nearly equalled the Elephant in size. По размеру они почти сравнялись ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова reachReach — достигать, протягивать Перевод слова To reach forth one’s arms — простирать руки a tree reaches its boughs towards the light — дерево тянет ветви к свету to reach middle age — достичь среднего возраста to reach a conclusion — прийти к заключению There was no time for me to Reach for my gun. ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова tailTail — хвост, кончик Перевод слова Tail ski — хвостовая лыжа самолета dog’s tail — собачий хвост the tail wagging the dog — хвост виляет собакой He checked behind. No Tail. Он оглянулся. «Хвоста» не было. The peacock fanned his Tail. Павлин раскрыл веером хвост. The lizard’s Tail can regenerate. Хвост ящерицы может регенерировать....
10. How to Hunt Elephants — Math styleMathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students. Sent by Alex...
11. A fair warningTourist guide at zoo: «Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits. Madam, please don’t stand near the elephant’s backside…. Madam, PLEASE don’t stand near the elephant’s backside… MADAM… ... Читать далее...
12. It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go lookIt’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands ... Читать далее...
13. Elephants IXEvery nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French book — The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant The English book — Elephants I have shot on Safari The Welsh book — The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant ... Читать далее...
14. A peasant was standing in a field chatting to a bullA pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. «I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree», sighed the pheasant, «but I haven»t got the energy». Well, why don»t you nibble on some of my droppings?» replied the bull. «They»re packed with nutrients». The pheasant pecked at ... Читать далее...
15. Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his ageLittle Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to ... Читать далее...
16. The best book on elephantsThe UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account «The Elephant and the British Empire.» The French submited a text «The Sensuality of the Elephant — a Personal Account.» The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled «An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of ... Читать далее...
17. There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a riverThere was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, «How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?» After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы cows tail[cows tail] {n.}, {dialect} A person who is behind others. John was the cow’s tail at the exam. Fred was always the old cow’s tail for football practice....
19. An ant and an elephant share a night of romanceAn ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. «Damn», says the ant, «one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!»...
20. Your hair smells niceA man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, «What’s wrong with the coworker ... Читать далее...
21. A gent spots a nice looking gal in a barA gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn’t back off, he asked her name. «Carmen,» she replied. «That’s a nice name,» he said warming up the conversation, «Who named you, your mother?» «No, I named myself, she answered. «Oh, that’s interesting, why Carmen?» ... Читать далее...
22. A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossingA young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. ... Читать далее...
23. This man goes into the doctor with hisThis man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now. Doctor: «What happened to you?» He says: «I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!» Doctor: «But I don’t understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and couldn’t cause that much damage!» He says «Aah ... Читать далее...
24. Elephants IIIHow do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close. How ... Читать далее...
25. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы run to[run to] {v. phr.} To approximate; reach. It has been estimatedthat the casualties will run to over 300,000 killed by cholera andstarvation in the crowded refugee camps....
27. Значение идиомы make head or tail of[make head or tail of] {v. phr.}, {informal} To see the why of;finding a meaning in; understand. — Used in negative, conditional, andinterrogative sentences. She could not make head or tail of thedirections on the dress pattern. Can you make head or tail of theletter?...
28. Tarzania IIWhat is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? «Look! A herd of plums in the distance» (Jane is colorblind)...
29. Christmas tree betterReasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman» A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова treeTree — дерево Перевод слова To decorate a Christmas tree — наряжать елку to dig up a tree — выкопать дерево to fit a tree — подрубать дерево The car struck the Tree. Автомобиль врезался в дерево. Monkeys live in Trees. Обезьяны живут на деревьях. The Tree was about to fall. Дерево чуть не упало....
31. Значение идиомы white elephant[white elephant] {n. phr.} Unwanted property, such as real estate, that is hard to sell. That big house of theirs on the corner sureis a white elephant....
32. A blonde bought two horses, and could never rememberA blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and our friend was stuck ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова niceNice — хороший, милый, приятный, вкусный Перевод слова Nice time — славное время nice person — приятный человек nice shot — точный выстрел It looks real Nice. Это выглядит действительно хорошо. He’s a helluva Nice guy. Он чертовски симпатичный парень The baby’s Nice and plump. Ребенок миленький и пухлый....
34. A lady from California purchased a piece of timber landA lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that ... Читать далее...
35. Dating Nice Guys and Bad BoysJack: I’ve had it. I’m going to start Treating women like dirt. I’d get more dates. Alison: What brought this on? Jack: I Got dumped again by a woman who thinks I’m too nice – too nice! She says she wants to be with someone who’s more Assertive and Unpredictable. She didn’t say it In ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы nice Nelly[nice Nelly ] or [nice Nellie] {n.}, {informal} Someone who actstoo good to be true; a prude; a prig. We took him for a nice Nellywhen he wouldn’t fight....
37. Значение идиомы nasty-nice[nasty-nice] {adj.} Unkind in a polite way; disagreeable whilepretending to be gracious. The bus driver has a nasty-nice way ofshowing his dislike....
38. Перевод слова roughRough — неровный, шершавый; грубый; необработанный Перевод слова Rough road — ухабистая дорога rough paper — шероховатая бумага rough food — грубая пища rough leather — невыделанная кожа rough manners — грубые манеры, неотесанность a rough temper — жесткий характер Her hands felt Rough. Ее руки были шершавые. He is Rough to deal with. С ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы rough it[rough it] {v. phr.} To live like primitive people; live withlittle of the comfort and equipment of civilization. Scouts like torough it in the woods on weekend hikes....
40. Значение идиомы rough up[rough up] {v.} To attack or hurt physically; treat roughly; beat. Three boys were sent home for a week because they roughed up aplayer on the visiting team. While Pete was walking in a strangepart of town some boys roughed him up and told him to stay out oftheir territory....