Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair

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1. Hair on my chest A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA!” he snorted. “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrust her pubic area forward, “There! I […]...
2. It’s dark in here A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]...
3. A jealous husband hires a private detective A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get. Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all […]...
4. While enjoying a drink with a mate one night While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into […]...
5. Перевод идиомы let one’s hair down / let down one’s hair, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: let one’s hair down / let down one’s hair Перевод: расслабиться, делать то, что хочется; не обращать внимания на мнение других, перестать стесняться Пример: Everybody at the party let down their hair and had a good time. На вечеринке все расслаблялись, веселились, и хорошо проводили время....
6. Перевод идиомы curl someone’s hair / make someone’s hair curl, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: curl someone’s hair / make someone’s hair curl Идиома: curl someone’s hair / make someone’s hair curl Перевод: шокировать, привести в ужас; заставить волосы встать дыбом Пример: The man described the accident. It was enough to curl your hair! Мужчина описал несчастный случай. От этого волосы вставали дыбом!...
7. Prescription This woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks “What for?” She says “I want to kill my husband”. He says “Sorry, I can’t do that.” She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife and hands it […]...
8. Значение идиомы hair [hair] See: CURL ONE’S HAIR, GET GRAY HAIR or GET GRAY, GIVE GRAYHAIR, HANG BY A THREAD or HANG BY A HAIR, HIDE OR HAIR or HIDE NORHAIR, IN ONE’S HAIR, LET ONE’S HAIR DOWN, OUT OF ONE’S HAIR, SPLITHAIRS, TEAR ONE’S HAIR....
9. Перевод слова hair Hair – волосы Перевод слова Blond hair – белокурые волосы bush of hair – копна волос fly-away hair – пушистые, развевающиеся волосы Fix your Hair! Причеши волосы! She has dark Hair. У нее темные волосы. She pinned up her Hair. Она заколола свои волосы....
10. A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, […]...
11. A young blonde woman is distraught A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband […]...
12. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
13. There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been laid!!” Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry about you.” 10 o’clock rolls around […]...
14. Значение идиомы tear one’s hair [tear one’s hair] {v. phr.} To show sorrow, anger, or defeat. Ben tore his hair when he saw the wrecked car. The teacher torehis hair at the boy’s stupid answer. It was time to go to class, but Mary had not finished the report she had to give, and she begantearing her hair....
15. Значение идиомы let one’s hair down [let one’s hair down] or [let down one’s hair] {v. phr.},{informal} Act freely and naturally; be informal; relax. Kings andqueens can seldom let their hair down. After the dance, thecollege girls let their hair down and compared dates. Compare: LETGO....
16. You’re not going to believe this! A woman got a problem with her closet door – it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. “OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close […]...
17. Значение идиомы out of one’s hair [out of one’s hair] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Rid of as a nuisance;relieved of as an annoyance. Harry got the boys out of his hair sohe could study. Compare: OUT OF ONE’S WAY. Contrast: IN ONE’S HAIR....
18. Значение идиомы in one’s hair [in one’s hair] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Bothering you again andagain; always annoying. Johnny got in Father’s hair when he wastrying to read the paper by running and shouting. The grown-upssent the children out to play so that the children wouldn’t be intheir hair while they were talking. Compare: GIVE A HARD TIME, INONE’S WAY. Contrast: […]...
19. A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary. “HA,” he snorted, “The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!” On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. “There! I […]...
20. Значение идиомы hair stand on end [hair stand on end] {informal} The hair of your head rises stifflyupwards as a sign or result of great fright or horror. When heheard the strange cry, his hair stood on end. The sight of thedead man made his hair stand on end. Compare: BLOOD RUN COLD, HEARTIN ONE’S MOUTH, HEART STAND STILL, JUMP OUT […]...
21. A drunken blonde goes into a bar A drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, “Gimme a beer.” The bartender then asks, “Anheuser-Busch?” To which she replies, “Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?”...
22. Значение идиомы curl one’s hair [curl one’s hair] {v. phr.}, {slang} To shock; frighten; horrify; amaze. Wait till you read what it says about you – this’ll curl your hair. The movie about monsters from another planet curled his hair....
23. Could you please pass The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.” Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” […]...
24. Перевод идиомы get in someone’s hair, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: get in someone’s hair Идиома: get in someone’s hair разг. Перевод: мешать, беспокоить, раздражать кого-либо Пример: The woman complained that her young child was always getting in her hair. Женщина жаловалась, что ее ребенок постоянно досаждал ей....
25. Just cut your hair first A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O. K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months […]...
26. Значение идиомы hide or hair [hide or hair] or [hide nor hair] {n. phr.}, {informal} A sign ortrace of someone that is gone or lost; any sign at all of somethingmissing. Usually used in negative or interrogative sentence. Tommyleft the house this morning and I haven’t seen hide or hair of himsince. A button fell off my coat and I […]...
27. Перевод сленгового выражения in someone’s hair, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: in someone’s hair Перевод: раздражающий, досаждающий; постоянно беспокоящий кого-либо Пример: My little brother is always getting in my hair! Мой маленький братик постоянно мне досаждает! Be careful how you fill out your tax forms – you don’t want the government in your hair. Внимательно заполняй налоговые анкеты, ты ведь не хочешь чтобы тебя […]...
28. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
29. Back in the 1960’s white activists often got their hair styled Back in the 1960’s white activists often got their hair styled in an afro – a large bush-style hairdoo – to show support for civil rights. One such fellow did so, and arrived home smiling and announced that he’d also teased all his pubic hair into the same bushy style. His wife, who had had […]...
30. Your hair smells nice A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, “What’s wrong with the coworker […]...
31. A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy walks in the door, he notices all these […]...
32. A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. […]...
33. Welfare applications For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which […]...
34. Перевод идиомы out of one’s hair, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: out of one’s hair Перевод: уйти и не беспокоить, волновать, досаждать кому-либо Пример: The woman got her children out of her hair and was able to do some work. Женщина сделала так, чтобы дети ей больше не досаждали, и смогла немного поработать....
35. The real treasure An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a […]...
36. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
37. Значение идиомы get gray hair [get gray hair] or [get gray] {v. phr.}, {informal} To become oldor gray from worrying; become very anxious or worried. – Often usedwith “over”. “If John doesn’t join the team, I won’t get gray hairover it,” the coach said. Naughty children are why mothers getgray. Compare: GIVE GRAY HAIR....
38. Перевод идиомы hair’s breadth, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: hair’s breadth Перевод: ничтожное, минимальное расстояние Пример: Our team won the championship by a hair’s breadth. Наша команда выиграла чемпионат с минимальным перевесом....
39. Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back. As Cronin hands […]...
40. Значение идиомы give gray hair [give gray hair] {v. phr.}, {informal} To make anxious, confused, or worried. The traffic problem is enough to give apoliceman gray hairs. Compare: GET GRAY HAIR....