Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit

Related topics:

1. Tommy goes into a confessional box and saysTommy goes into a confessional box and says, «Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.» The Priest says, «Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says «Yes father, it’s me.» The Priest says «Who was the woman you were with?» Tommy says «I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t ... Читать далее...
2. A boy comes home from school and tells his motherA boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. «What part?» the mother asked. «I play a Jewish husband,» the boy replied. «Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!»...
3. One day the teacher decides to play an animal gameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says «See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?» Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a ... Читать далее...
4. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
5. A little boy was excited about his first day at schoolA little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод идиомы pay someone or something a visit / pay a visit to someone or something, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: pay someone or something a visit / pay a visit to someone or something Перевод: навести визит кому-либо или чему-либо, посетить кого-либо или что-либо Пример: I paid the tax office a visit to try and resolve my tax problem. Я посетил налоговую службу, чтобы попытаться решить свои проблемы с налогами....
7. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, «Why are you late little Johnny?» Johnny replied, «My grandpa got burnt, Miss.» The teacher replied, «I hope it wasn’t too bad.» Then little Johnny said, «Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!»...
8. Перевод слова visitVisit — посещение, визит, поездка Перевод слова Courtesy visit — визит вежливости goodwill visit — визит доброй воли a brief visit to Ireland — кратковременная поездка в Ирландию I’ll Visit him if I have time. Я навещу его, если у меня будет время. Did you ever Visit Paris? Вы когда-нибудь бывали в Париже? Be sure ... Читать далее...
9. A lesson in ebonicsA sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, «Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.» The teacher says, «No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?» Another little boy stands up and says, «Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.» Again the teacher says, «No, that’s wrong.» The teacher asks, ... Читать далее...
10. The little boy comes home from school and asks momThe little boy comes home from school and asks mom, «Where do babies come from?» Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time she replies, «From the stork of course!» The little guy thinks for a few seconds and then asks, «But mom, who fucks the stork?»...
11. While attending a spelling session in school one dayWhile attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says «I can, I can» The teacher replies, «OK, go ahead Darla…» Darla replies…»D-U-M-B» The teacher replies, «very good», and «can you use that word in a sentence?» Darla replies, «Sure, ... Читать далее...
12. Little Johnny tried out for the school playLittle Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: «Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I’ll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.» Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. ... Читать далее...
13. Strict schoolIt was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy «My name is Johnny Fuckhauer». So she said «There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; ... Читать далее...
14. A little boy did not go to school one dayA little boy did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said «Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the Bull». «How disgusting» said the teacher «I am sure your father could have done that» «No ma’m, he couldn’t have» said ... Читать далее...
15. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
16. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
17. Значение идиомы flying visit[flying visit] {n. phr.} A visit of very short duration. Tomcame to New York for only a flying visit. We had hardly eaten lunchwhen he had to leave....
18. We have new babiesFor weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about ... Читать далее...
19. At school Little Johnny was told by a classmateAt school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, «I know the whole truth.» Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by ... Читать далее...
20. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
21. Describing Touch and TexturesTommy: It’s Just our luck that there’s a major Power failure while we’re shopping in this outdoor Bazaar. Louisa: How are we going to find our way back to the hotel? Tommy: Follow me and stay close. I’ll Lead the way. Louisa: This road is so Rough. I keep Tripping over the stones. Ah! Tommy: ... Читать далее...
22. A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a groupA young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say «Hi there little boy!!» One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. ... Читать далее...
23. Посещение театра/ A Visit To The TheatreНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык A Visit To The Theatre Посещение театра People live a busy life nowadays. They don’t have much free time for leisure activities, for visiting cinemas or theatres. However, it is always a good idea to see a new film or play. Such pastime carries us away from daily ... Читать далее...
24. My School (4)В топике Моя школа (4) я рассказываю о своем учебном расписании, о предметах, которые мы изучаем, и о своих любимых уроках английского языка. Мне очень нравятся каникулы, которые мы проводим трижды в год. В этом топике я подробно расскажу об оформлении нашей классной комнаты и о том, как обычно проходят наши уроки. Мне нравятся наши ... Читать далее...
25. A young teenager comes home from schoolA young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, «Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?» «Yes, dear,» replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it. «But then when ... Читать далее...
26. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
27. A school teacher injured his back and had to wearA school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. ... Читать далее...
28. Bush fans v. Kerry fansThere’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy — Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to ... Читать далее...
29. Business is businessA young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, «Who was the greatest man that ever lived?» A girl raises her hand and says, «I think George Washington was the ... Читать далее...
30. Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that «Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,» and would his mother,»please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.» So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, ... Читать далее...
31. A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranchA guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, «If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he’s the one who shot it. Otherwise, he’ll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it.» The guy goes ... Читать далее...
32. A visit to the sick friend — Визит к больному другуВ топике Посещение больного друга — я делюсь своими мыслями, как важно быть здоровым, но иногда кто-то из друзей может и заболеть, например, гриппом или простудой. Болезнь можно вылечить таблетками, но моральная поддержка тоже помогает. В таких случаях не забывайте посетить своего друга, ведь ваше посещение его обрадует, придаст новые силы и он выздоровеет быстрее. ... Читать далее...
33. A little girl and a little boy were at day careA little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, «Hey Tommy, wanna play house?» He says, «Sure! What do you want me to do?» The girl replies, «I want you to communicate your thoughts.» «Communicate my thoughts?» said a bewildered Tommy. «I have no ... Читать далее...
34. Sport in My SchoolВ топике Спорт в моей школе — я расскажу, какую роль играет в моей жизни спорт. Каждый день я начинаю с зарядки, у нас в школе есть занятия по физической культуре. Кроме того, я посещаю секцию легкой атлетики. Что касается моих друзей, то они занимаются разными видами спорта. А еще в моей школе один раз ... Читать далее...
35. Mrs. PrussyThe little darlings were all in their seats on the first day of school and their new teacher introduced herself. She wrote on the board that her name is Ms. Prussy and the day passed without any further incidents. The next morning after greeting the class she asked if anyone remembered her name and little ... Читать далее...
36. Paying an Unexpected VisitLorraine: Hi, this is a surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure? Terrance: Can’t I just Drop in on my little sister Unannounced to see how she is? I was just in this Neck of the woods and thought I would Pay you a visit. Lorraine: Sure you were. Of course, I’m glad to ... Читать далее...
37. From UsThe teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters «ILU» written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does «ILU» mean? The little girl replies, «I love you.» The teacher says, «Isn’t that sweet,» and continues with class. The ... Читать далее...
38. Посещение зоопарка/ A Visit To The ZooНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык A Visit To The Zoo Посещение зоопарка It was a quiet weekend when I could stay longer that usually in bed. However, our class tutor decided to gather us for a visit to the zoo. It wasn’t a bad idea I should say. Of course, I had to ... Читать далее...
39. Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit toBrenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician’s office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, «My husband wants me to ask you…» «I know, I know.» the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, «I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова deerDeer — олень Перевод слова A herd of deer — стадо оленей deer forest — олений заповедник deer breeding — оленеводство He shot at the Deer. Он выстрелил в оленя. A young Deer is a fawn. Детеныш оленя называется олененком. A female Deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. Интересные факты Deer Hunter (Охотник ... Читать далее...