Let him dig
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?
The wife put down her drink and said…”let the old bastard dig. I had him buried upside down.”
Related topics:
- Значение идиомы turn in one’s grave [turn in one’s grave] or [turn over in one’s grave] {v. phr.} To beso grieved or angry that you would not rest quietly in your grave. If your grandfather could see what you’re doing now, he would turnover in his grave....
- A sad mourner A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?” The […]...
- Перевод слова grave Grave – могила; веский, важный Перевод слова Mass grave – братская могила family grave – семейная могила; фамильный склеп grave responsibility – серьезная ответственность to debate grave matters – обсуждать важные дела Both carried Grave faces. У обоих были серьезные лица. He took that secret to the Grave. Он забрал эту тайну в могилу. He […]...
- Значение идиомы one foot in the grave [one foot in the grave] {n. phr.} Near to death. The dog isfourteen years old, blind, and feeble. He has one foot in the grave. Grandfather has never been sick a day in his life, but Mother caresfor him as if he had one foot in the grave....
- A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...
- Перевод слова magic Magic – магия, волшебство, магический Перевод слова By magic – по волшебству to perform magic – показывать фокусы magic space – магическое пространство to say the magic word – произнести заклинание It was a kind of Magic. Это было своего рода волшебство. The medicine worked as if by Magic. Лекарство оказало волшебный эффект. She’s got […]...
- The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
- An ant and an elephant share a night of romance An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Damn”, says the ant, “one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”...
- Golf lessons A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!” “Well, what should I do?” asks […]...
- Marriage quotes 02 Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage […]...
- Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair […]...
- Once some boys got together to play poker Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn’t know how […]...
- A lawyer named Strange died A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]...
- Значение идиомы magic carpet [magic carpet] {n.} 1. A rug said to be able to transport a personthrough the air to any place he wishes. The caliph of Baghdad flewon his magic carpet to Arabia. 2. Any form of transportation that iscomfortable and easy enough to seem magical. Flying the Concordfrom Dallas to London seemed like boarding the magic […]...
- Reading an Obituary Ivy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: I’m reading the Obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had Quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really Done him justice. It’s a nice Tribute to a man who Touched so many lives. It […]...
- One day an older fella was in for a checkup One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. “Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!” “Did I say I was 64?” “Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?” “Damn […]...
- Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. “So, how’s life been for you?” Ed asked. “Not too good,” Ted replied. “My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for […]...
- Is this really your third marriage? Sure is. What happened to your first two wives? They died. How did your first wife die? She ate some poisonous mushrooms. What about your second wife? She died from a severe skull fracture. How did she get a skull fracture? She wouldn’t eat the mushrooms....
- Love to Death A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, […]...
- Значение идиомы go straight [go straight] {v. phr.}, {slang} To become an honest person; leadan honest life. After the man got out of prison, he went straight. Mr. Wright promised to go straight if the judge would let him gofree....
- Перевод слова strange Strange – незнакомый, странный, необычный Перевод слова Strange malady – странная болезнь in strange lands – в чужих краях strange tongue – незнакомый язык He had a Strange way of talking. У него была странная манера говорить. She behaved in a Strange fashion. Она вела себя очень странно. I don’t like Strange people coming into […]...
- David Copperfield is doing his magic show and David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. “I will”, replies a guy in the audience, “but I’m going to need your wife Claudia and a table.” “Ok”, says David and the guy gets on stage. He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down […]...
- I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
- Welfare office A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his […]...
- A drunk staggered into a cemetery and A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave. Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said, “No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on […]...
- Перевод слова straight Straight – прямой, прямо Перевод слова The straightest way to – самый прямой путь в straight run – беспосадочный полет to ride straight – ехать напрямик to drink straight from the bottle – пить прямо из горлышка Are you going Straight to London? Вы едете прямо в Лондон? He shot Straight. Он метко выстрелил. He […]...
- Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist […]...
- Collection 03 Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips […]...
- A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
- Значение идиомы as far as that goes [as far as that goes] or [as far as that is concerned] or [so far as that is concerned] also [so far as that goes] {adv. phr.} While we are talking about it; also; actually. You don’t have to worry about the girls. Mary can take care of herself, and as far as that goes, […]...
- Having Doubts About Getting Married Charlotte: What are you doing in here? The entire Wedding party is looking for you. Chris: Yeah, I know. Charlotte: Well, what’s the matter? You’re not getting Cold feet, are you? Chris: That’s just it. I’m really having Doubts about getting married. What am I doing here? I think I’m about to make the biggest […]...
- If she went out with me A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his […]...
- When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife […]...
- Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
- Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, “Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.” His friend replied, “Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose women’ ya always hear about.” “You don’t say.” said the first man. “Bet that was costly.” “Nope.” Jeb smirked. […]...
- Значение идиомы at one’s elbow [at one’s elbow] {adv. phr.} Close beside you; nearby. The President rode in an open car with his wife at his elbow. Mary practiced for several years to become a champion swimmer and her mother was always at her elbow to help her. Contrast: BREATHE DOWN ONE’S NECK....
- Перевод идиомы straight from the horse’s mouth, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: straight from the horse’s mouth Перевод: из первых уст; со слов того, кто был непосредственным участником чего-либо Пример: I heard about my friend’s wedding straight from the horse’s mouth. Я услышал о свадьбе моего друга из первых уст....
- Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
- Перевод слова local Local – местный, локальный Перевод слова Local bus – местный автобус local call – местный звонок local dialect – местный диалект local jurisdiction – местная юрисдикция, внутренняя юрисдикция We had dinner at a Local restaurant. Мы поужинали в местном ресторане. The shop sells Local crafts. Магазин торгует ремесленными изделиями местного производства. He writes for the […]...
- Значение идиомы at it [at it] {adj. phr.} Busily doing something; active. His rule for success was to keep always at it. The couple who owned the little cleaning shop were at it early and late. Mr. Curtis heard a loud crash in the next apartment – the neighbors were at it again....