Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband’s

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1. Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penis Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband’s penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car travelling in the opposite direction. “Shit,” said the driver to his passenger. “What kind […]...
2. Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the years ahead. “A penis.” she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that followed was broken by the former President. “My dear, I don’t think that the English pronounce the word like […]...
3. Save the dead rabbit A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
4. Hair spray A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]...
5. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, “Pig!” The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, “Bitch!” They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next […]...
6. Значение идиомы road sign [road sign] {n.} A sign on which there is information about a roador places; a sign with directions to drivers. The road sign read,”25 MPH LIMIT” but Jack drove along at fifty miles an hour. Theroad sign said Westwood was four miles away....
7. Jack goes to the doctor and says Jack goes to the doctor and says “Doc I’m having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?” After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, “Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you unless you’re willing to try […]...
8. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
9. Counting cars A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, “88, 88, 88…” The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past. “What are you doing?” “I’m counting cars,”comes the rely. “Want to help?” “Sure!” says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the […]...
10. A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, “Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?” The […]...
11. Some relatives A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”...
12. Значение идиомы road [road] See: ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME, BURN UP THE ROAD, END OF THEROAD, GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD, HIT THE ROAD, HUG THE ROAD, MIDDLE OFTHE ROAD, ON THE ROAD....
13. Japan Jokes The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for […]...
14. Значение идиомы middle-of-the-road [middle-of-the-road] {adj.} Favoring action halfway between twoopposite movements or ideas; with ideas halfway between two oppositesides; seeing good on both sides. The men who wrote theConstitution followed a middle-of-the-road plan on whether greaterpower belonged to the United States government or to the separatestates. Senator Jones favors a middle-of-the-road policy in thelabor-management dispute....
15. Значение идиомы highway robbery [highway robbery] {n. phr.} 1. A hold-up of or theft from a personcommitted on an open road or street usually by an armed man. Highway robbery was common in England in Shakespeare’s day. 2. Anextremely high price or charge; a profiteer’s excessive charge. Tosomeone from a small town, the prices of meals and theater tickets […]...
16. Two guys are driving through Texas when Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that? The trooper says, “You’re in […]...
17. Go to the hospital Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations sir, you’re the father of twins.” “What a coincidence!” the man said with some obvious pride. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.” The nurse returned in a […]...
18. Show him your cross Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. “Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Mary Agnes, “What should […]...
19. Here is this guy who really takes care of his body Here is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the […]...
20. Soldier stands guard A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?” The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General […]...
21. Three altar boys are standing in the snow with Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around their ankles. They have their penis’ in a snow bank. Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, “Boys! Boys! Whatever are you doing… you’re going to catch pneumonia. Put your penis’ away.” The tallest altar boy turns around and […]...
22. Rolls Royce vs. Yugo A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls looked over and […]...
23. Перевод слова highway Highway – шоссе, магистраль Перевод слова Highway engineer – дорожный инженер express highway – скоростная трасса limited-access highway – дорога с ограниченным проездом Cars whooshed along the Highway. Автомобили мчались вдоль шоссе. Тhe Highway was lined with signboards Шоссе было размечено дорожными знаками. The great sea on the west is the natural Highway of commerce. […]...
24. Значение идиомы in the middle of nowhere [in the middle of nowhere] {adv. phr.} In a deserted, farawayplace. When my car stopped on the highway in the middle of nowhere, it took forever to get help....
25. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 […]...
26. Try to get some rest A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on […]...
27. Перевод слова quiet Quiet – тихий, бесшумный, спокойный, мирный Перевод слова Quiet wind – тихий ветер quiet footsteps – бесшумные шаги quiet sleep – безмятежный сон quiet conscience – чистая совесть Please be Quiet! Потише, пожалуйста! We were enjoying the Quiet of the forest. Мы наслаждались тишиной леса. He led a Quiet life. Он вел тихую жизнь....
28. This businessman was walking down the sidewalk This businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed the door shut taking off. Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman […]...
29. A man and his wife Florence Flask was… dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, “Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!” “Now, now, my dear,” replied her husband, “keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they’re mislead.” “No, I know they’re stolen,” cried Florence. “I remember putting them in my burette… We […]...
30. A rookie police officer was assigned A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s […]...
31. Chinese Fire Drill One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill, I don’t quite know why it is called that. Anyway.. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and […]...
32. Значение идиомы toss off [toss off] {v. phr.} 1. To drink rapidly; drain. He tossed offtwo drinks and left. 2. To make or say easily without trying orthinking hard. She tossed off smart remarks all during dinner. He thinks a reporter should be able to toss off an article every fewhours....
33. A hot meal Two starving homeless men are walking down an empty street in a quiet town. they spy a dead horse on the side of the road and run towards it. the first man begins to eat the horse, but the second man refuses, saying only that he will wait. after the first man has eaten his […]...
34. An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses’ office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. “It did? I’m sorry to hear that,” she replied. Two days later, Mr. […]...
35. Confuse traffic signs A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway – why are you going so slow?” Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.” Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly […]...
36. Eating Fast Food My friend Julia called me The other day. She wanted to Grab some lunch and asked me if I wanted to go to the local Fast food place down the street. I said sure, even though I knew it wouldn’t be good for me. I Hopped in my car and Swung by to pick her […]...
37. Значение идиомы snap one’s fingers at [snap one’s fingers at] {v. phr.} To show contempt for; show norespect for; pay no attention to; scorn; disregard. John snappedhis fingers at the sign that said “Do not enter,” and he went in thedoor. The highway sign said “Speed limit, 35 miles per hour,” butwhen a driver snapped his fingers at it by going […]...
38. Handling a Traffic Stop I was having a great day until I saw the police car behind me with its loud Siren and lights Flashing. I Pulled off the road and waited for the officer to approach my car. Officer: May I see your Driver’s license, proof of insurance, and Car registration, please? Lindsay: Let me get them out […]...
39. Talking on a plane The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can […]...
40. Перевод идиомы road hog, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: road hog Перевод: дорожный хам (человек, занимающий большую часть дороги и мешающий проезду) Пример: “Look at that road hog driving in the middle of the road and stopping other drivers from passing him.” Посмотри на этого чудака, едет посередине дороги и не дает другим водителям обогнать его....