Too good to be true
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Sure do,” replied the bartender. “Good,” said the customer, “Give me a beer, and I’ll have
Shoe shopping
A man walks into a shoe store… …and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well… they feel a bit tight.” replies the man. The assistant promptly
The last day working
“You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……” You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A
Only once
“Miss Jones, we can’t employ you as a model,” the editor from the men’s magazine explained. “It’s too obvious that your blonde hair isn’t natural, since the hair between your legs is black.” The
The alcohol trouble
During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols: The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the
Good girls vs. Bad girls
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own
Where are the fingers?
Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me
A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room
A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an “escort” service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives.
Stupid people awards
It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool