Tough job
A fellow getting a shave asked the barber if he had another razor. “Why?” asked the barber, “Is there something wrong with this one?” “I don’t know.” replied the customer. “But I would appreciate
Punishment for Gates
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got
A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly
A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they
Alter thanksgiving day
1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, “See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for
Nutrition Information
For those of you who watch what you eat… Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat
Marriage quotes 12
Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That
Santa’s Pet Peeves
Department Store Santa Peeves 8. Kids who refuse to believe that’s fruitcake on your breath, not gin 7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it 6.
How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish? A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father’s business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought