Jokes of science 01
At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’ Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The ‘wave’. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was
Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel
Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, “Damn…3 .2 meters!” The second one looks furtively around and
One liners about food
The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef
A crowd had gathered around a whore and
A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” From the
THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN
“Members of Congress…People of America….I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra,
What a Woman Really Needs
A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in
I’m at the wrong bank
Letterman’s Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your
A young man asks his father
A young man asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?” The father, surprised, answers: “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like
Charged for speeding
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared