Mexican Smuggler
Juan pedals up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answers Juan. The guard says,
He’s drunk at the bar
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try
Marriage quotes 10
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second
Judy arrived home from her date
Judy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked
Her father was very angry when he heard that his
Her father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San Francisco to Washington. “For gods sake!” he screamed, “Someone could
Chicago Jokes
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he
A guy steps into an elevator and
A guy steps into an elevator and there’s just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says,
Two English sheep in a field
Two English sheep in a field. One says to the other “I’m not feeling very well” The other turns around and replies “Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you’ll get us all killed” Sent by paully
Ice fishing
This guy goes ice fishing, takes out an auger and starts drilling. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish there. Guy goes to another spot and drills. LOUD VOICE FROM ABOVE: There’s no fish
Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day
Little Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. “If I gave you $20,” the teacher began,” and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5