In jail

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1. Перевод слова jail Jail – тюрьма, тюремное заключение Перевод слова To adjudge to jail – приговорить к тюремному заключению to go to jail – попадать в тюрьму to serve time in jail – отсидеть в тюрьме They carted him off to Jail. Они забрали его в тюрьму. He’s been in Jail for three months already. Он просидел в […]...
2. A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, “I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?” The accountant replies, “Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess […]...
3. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
4. Перевод слова male Male – мужчина, мужской, мужского пола Перевод слова Male voice choir – мужской хор male fern – мужской папоротник male midwife – акушер male pigeon – голубь-самец A Male duck is a drake. Самец утки – это селезень. The Male has a white breast. У самцов грудка белая. Does Christianity promote Male domination over women? […]...
5. Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best… find a woman with whom he may “commiserate”. After a wild night of getting it on, it’s time for the young lady to leave. As she’s getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, “Lotsa guys want to […]...
6. Pray hard A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, […]...
7. Guinea pig to become father to 400 after breaking into female enclosure Randy escaped his male only enclosure at Hatton Adventure World in Warwick and broke into the female-only area. Staff at Hatton Country World in Warwickshire couldn’t understand why they suddenly had 100 pregnant guinea pigs on their hands – until they released one of the male rodents had managed to escape his enclosure and infiltrate […]...
8. College Dorm On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]...
9. Перевод слова spit Spit – вертел, шампур; плеваться, плевок Перевод слова To spit blood – харкать кровью to spit out – выплевывать I spit at his advice – мне плевать на его совет She Spat in his face. Она плюнула ему в лицо. He Spat out a stone. Он выплюнул косточку. You wouldn’t dare to Spit at the […]...
10. A new tax Department of the Treasury Internal Revenue Service Washington, D. C. To: All Male Taxpayers RE: Notice of increase of tax payment Form 1040 – P The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% […]...
11. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORM Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male – Female Female – Female Male – Male All of the Above None of the Above – Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust […]...
12. Empathic rats spring each other from jail You enter a room with two cages. One contains a friend, who is clearly distressed. The other contains a bar of chocolate, which clearly isn’t. What do you do? While a few people would probably go for the chocolate first (and you know who you are), most would choose to free the friend. And so, […]...
13. A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. “No! I’m not doing it anymore!” […]...
14. Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female. The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as “HE” because: 1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them […]...
15. Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. “I call my man ‘Eight,’ ” said the first woman, “Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.” The second woman said in response, “I call my […]...
16. Перевод слова response Response – ответ, реакция, отклик Перевод слова He made no response – он ничего не ответил in response to your inquiry – в ответ на ваш запрос biological response – биологическая реакция His Response is one of an anger and frustration. Его ответная реакция – это раздражение и разочарование. He got a Response to his […]...
17. Значение идиомы by inches [by inches] {adv. phr.} By small or slow degrees; little by little; gradually. The river was rising by inches. They got a heavy wooden beam under the barn for a lever, and managed to move it by inches. He was dying by inches....
18. Ring, ring! *ring* *ring* “Hello?” Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, “Hello?” “I’ll bet you want me to come into your bedroom,” a male voice whispered huskily, “…undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until morning.” “Geez,” the woman replied, “you can tell all that from two […]...
19. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
20. Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde, “Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can’t swim. Please tell me how you did this!” The second blonde then says, […]...
21. Перевод слова female Female – женщина, женский; женского пола Перевод слова Female relations – родственницы female patients – пациентки female education – женское образование Female cattle are cows. Женские особи крупного рогатого скота – это коровы. A Female deer is a doe. Самка оленя называется оленихой. The workers were overwhelmingly Female. Среди работников преобладали женщины. Примеры из жизни […]...
22. Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest […]...
23. A good student It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his […]...
24. A large difference A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out […]...
25. University courses for men and women Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do […]...
26. Six people were on a plane Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, ” Save the children” The lawyer yells out “FUCK THE CHILDREN!” The priest yells out ” […]...
27. Значение идиомы under one’s breath [under one’s breath] {adv. phr.} In a whisper; with a low voice. The teacher heard the boy say something under his breath and sheasked him to repeat it aloud. I told Lucy the news under mybreath, but Joyce overheard me....
28. Watch real baseball Top Ten Signs you’re Not Watching a Real Baseball Team From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. They keep shouting “Do over!” When umpire yells, “Strike […]...
29. Значение идиомы spit up [spit up] {v.} To vomit a little. The baby always spits up whenhe is burped. Put a bib on the baby. I don’t want him to spit upon his clean clothes....
30. A tough dilemma Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” …To which […]...
31. A bartender was getting ready to close for the night A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut […]...
32. A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The border official look s over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write ‘Twice a week’ into the small space labeled ‘SEX’. The official explains: “No, no, no. That is not what we […]...
33. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
34. Перевод слова voice Voice – голос, способность петь; выражать Перевод слова The compass of a voice – диапазон голоса in a decided voice – твердым голосом to voice a desire – выражать пожелание I know this Voice! Я узнаю этот голос! Sh! Keep your Voice down! Тсс! Говорите потише! His Voice deepened. Его голос стал более глубоким....
35. Launch the missiles It’s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings. [President Bill] Hello! Hello! [Voice on the line] President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United […]...
36. The story with the moral In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh! If I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.” There was a fish in the water […]...
37. IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims […]...
38. Значение идиомы side [side] See: CHOOSE UP SIDES, FROM SIDE TO SIDE, GET UP ON THE WRONGSIDE OF THE BED, GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEFENCE or GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL, LAUGHON THE WRONG SIDE OF ONE’S MOUTH, ON ONE’S BAD SIDE, ON ONE’S GOODSIDE, ON THE […]...
39. Значение идиомы spit [spit] or [piss into the wedding cake] {v. phr.}, {vulgar},{avoidable} To spoil someone’s pleasure or celebration by doing orsaying something harsh or unseemly in an otherwise happy gathering;bring up depressing or unhappy subjects at a supposedly happy time. Stuart really spit into the wedding cake when he told Burt in abragging fashion that Lucy, Burl’s […]...
40. Значение идиомы in consideration of [in consideration of] {adv. phr.} 1. After thinking about andweighing; because of. IN consideration of the boy’s young age, thejudge did not put him in jail for carrying a gun. 2. In exchange for;because of; in payment for. In consideration of the extra work Joehad done, his boss gave him an extra week’s pay. Compare: […]...