In case of emergency

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1. Stagecoach surpriseI had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into ... Читать далее...
2. The hunting seasonThis truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying «NERDS NOT ALLOWED — ENTER AT OWN RISK!» He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks ... Читать далее...
3. Types of LuggageDriver: Ma’am, where would you like these suitcases? Leona: The three Wheeled suitcases should go next to the bed, and the Garment bag should be Hung up In the closet. Where is my Expandable bag? Driver: Do you mean this Duffel bag? Leona: Yes. You can leave that right there. Hmm, where is my Carry-on? ... Читать далее...
4. My carA tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, «Hey, bud, this is my car!» «OK,» the ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы shoulder to shoulder[shoulder to shoulder] {adv. phr.} 1. One beside the other;together. The three boys were shoulder to shoulder all during theworking hours. Compare: SIDE BY SIDE. 2. Each helping the other; inagreement; together. — Often used with «stand». We can win thefight if we all stand shoulder to shoulder. Compare: SEE EYE TO EYE....
6. A little old lady gets onto a crowded busA little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, «If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.» The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. ... Читать далее...
7. An eight year old boy is walking down the road one dayAn eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him. «If you get in the car,» the driver says, «I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.» The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an ... Читать далее...
8. A small dissapointmentTwo GI’s in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. «I can’t go in here» he says» It’s really going to stink» «There’s another trench over there» says the other. «I’ll cover you with the M60…. just give me a shout and and i’ll cover ... Читать далее...
9. A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulderA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, «Look mate, don’t ever ... Читать далее...
10. Passing an examThree patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking ... Читать далее...
11. Confuse traffic signsA cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: «Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?» Sister: «Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.» Cop: «Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова trunkTrunk — ствол, магистральный, главный Перевод слова Trunk line — магистральная железнодорожная линия trunk connector — междугородный линейный искатель crooked trunk — искривленный ствол high-usage trunk — загруженный канал связи The woodpecker dabbed at the tree Trunk. Дятел легонько долбил ствол дерева. The Trunk is often converted into canoes. Из стволов деревьев часто делают каноэ....
13. Save the dead rabbitA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
14. Hair sprayA man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side ... Читать далее...
15. A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and outA policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. «I can’t do that, officer.» «Why not?» «Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.» «Okay, we’ll just get a ... Читать далее...
16. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
17. A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-RoyceA guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, «Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!» The driver of Rolls looks ... Читать далее...
18. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
19. A truck driver breaks down andA truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it’s for. He replies «Oh that’s a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы highway robbery[highway robbery] {n. phr.} 1. A hold-up of or theft from a personcommitted on an open road or street usually by an armed man. Highway robbery was common in England in Shakespeare’s day. 2. Anextremely high price or charge; a profiteer’s excessive charge. Tosomeone from a small town, the prices of meals and theater tickets ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова highwayHighway — шоссе, магистраль Перевод слова Highway engineer — дорожный инженер express highway — скоростная трасса limited-access highway — дорога с ограниченным проездом Cars whooshed along the Highway. Автомобили мчались вдоль шоссе. Тhe Highway was lined with signboards Шоссе было размечено дорожными знаками. The great sea on the west is the natural Highway of commerce. ... Читать далее...
22. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrotA middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous ... Читать далее...
23. Following a High-Profile Court CaseDanny: Have you been following the Schirru case? Carol: Yeah, I have. I think he’s Guilty. Danny: You’re kidding, right? He’s Innocent and this is a Show trial. The District attorney is conducting a Witch-hunt for his own Political Ambitions. Carol: No, he’s not. It is a High-profile case, but that’s only because he wants ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова shoulderShoulder — плечо; брать на себя; толкать Перевод слова To shoulder other people’s sins — взваливать на себя чужие грехи shoulder to shoulder — плечом к плечу to shrug one’s shoulders — пожимать плечами to shoulder smb. into the room — втолкнуть кого-л. в комнату Lean against my Shoulder. Прислонись к моему плечу. She carried ... Читать далее...
25. At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guyAt 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. «It opens at noon,» answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even= drunker. «What time does the bar open?» he asks. «Same time as ... Читать далее...
26. Hope never diesA man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he’s driving at 65 mph, the ... Читать далее...
27. Having an Open HouseKyoko: We’re not supposed to be here. I think we should leave and let our Real estate agent hold the Open house without us Looking over her shoulder. Ernie: We’re not looking over her shoulder. I just want to sit in this car to see how many people go in and out. Kyoko: You know, ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы cold shoulder[cold shoulder] {n.}, {informal} Unfriendly treatment of a person, a showing of dislike for a person or of looking down on a person. — Used in the cliches «give the cold shoulder» or «turn a cold shoulder to» or «get the cold shoulder». When Bob asked Mary for a date she gave him the cold ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод идиомы have a chip on one’s shoulder, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: have a chip on one’s shoulder Перевод: искать повод для ссоры или драки; быть агрессивно настроенным, затевать ссоры Пример: Our neighbor has a chip on his shoulder and is always trying to start a fight. Наш сосед всегда ищет причины для спора, и всегда пытается затеять ссору. Ron has a chip on his shoulder. ... Читать далее...
30. ConfessionsThree young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it’s clear that they’re trying to one-up each other. The first one says, «My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation,» and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The ... Читать далее...
31. Перевод слова driverDriver — водитель, шофер Перевод слова Co-driver — водитель-напарник drink driver — водитель, управляющий автомобилем в нетрезвом виде learner driver — лицо, обучающееся вождению He’s a rotten Driver. Водитель из него никакой. He is a careful Driver. Он осторожный водитель. He is a pretty awful Driver. Он довольно ужасный водитель. Происхождение слова driver Образовано от ... Читать далее...
32. Biologist experimentThere was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says «Jump frog, jump!». The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs — jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы open the door[open the door] {v. phr.} To allow more action or discussion; givea chance. Learning to read and write opens the door to a better joband better living conditions. Raising the tax rates will open thedoor to more help for older people. Contrast: CLOSE THE DOOR. Compare: OPEN ITS DOORS....
34. A fellow was following a truck in heavy trafficA fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы straight from the shoulder[straight from the shoulder] {adv. phr.}, {informal} In an open andhonest way of speaking; without holding back anything because of fearor politeness or respect for someone’s feelings; frankly. Johnasked what he had done wrong. Bob told him straight from theshoulder. The candidate for Congress spoke out against hisopponent’s dishonesty straight from the shoulder. Contrast: PULLONE’S ... Читать далее...
36. A bad dayThere’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: «Come on man, I was ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы in case[in case] {adv. phr.}, {informal} 1. In order to be prepared; as aprecaution; if there is need. — Usually used in the phrase «just incase». The bus is usually on time, but start early, just in case. The big dog was tied up, but John carried a stick, just in case. 2. [in case] or ... Читать далее...
38. Very depressed manThere’s a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, «Come on man, I ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы start up[start up] {v.} 1. To begin operating, The driver started up themotor of the car. The engine started up with a roar. 2. To beginto play. The conductor waved his baton, and the bandstarted up. The orchestra started up a waltz. Compare: STRIKE UP.3. To rise or stand suddenly. When he heard the bell, he ... Читать далее...
40. First Aid CourseWhen a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A women was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. ‘Step aside, lady,’ he barked. ‘I’ve taken a course in first-aid!’ The women watched for a few ... Читать далее...