Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ Hope never dies

Hope never dies

A man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryland was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own business. He noticed in his rear view mirror that a Maryland State Trooper was right behind him. A mile later nothing changed, except now he’s driving at 65 mph, the maximum limit. Several miles further along, the Trooper’s right on his bumper and the man increases his speed to 75 mph. The Trooper activates his lights and siren and the man reluctantly pulls onto the shoulder.

After the Trooper demands the man’s driver’s license and registration, he sez, «Mr. {Smith}, I cannot for the life of me figure out why, when you knew I was behind you for quite some time, you sped up knowing that you could be cited for speeding. What in the world caused you to do that?

The man looked relieved, stared the Trooper directly in the eye and softly spoke, «Trooper, three months ago, my wife ran off with a Maryland State Trooper. I thought you were him, bringing her back.»



Great britain диалоги.
Family problems topic.

Related topics:

  1. A state trooper pulled a car overA state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. «I was only going 40!» the driver protested. «Not according to my radar,» the trooper said. «Yes, I was!» the man shouted back. «No you weren’t!» the trooper said. With that, the ... Читать далее...
  2. Driving home very drunkIt seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before ... Читать далее...
  3. Надежда умирает последней/ Hope Dies LastНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Hope Dies Last Надежда умирает последней It is in human nature to hope for the best in any situation. English people say: “Hope will be the last to die after love and trust”, and I think they are somehow right. We always look forward for the best, most ... Читать далее...
  4. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
  5. Swerve to avoid a boxDriving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain ... Читать далее...
  6. Listening to a Traffic ReportEvery afternoon before I leave work, I listen to the Traffic report to see if I should take my usual route home or make a Detour. So today, like every day, I turned on my radio. “It’s a tough Commute today if you’re traveling on I-35 north. There’s a major Slowdown due to an Overturned ... Читать далее...
  7. Dangerous Freeway DrivingI do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in ... Читать далее...
  8. A Lutheran minister is driving downA Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, «Sir, have you been drinking?» And the minister says, «Just water.» The ... Читать далее...
  9. Значение идиомы hope against hope[hope against hope] {v. phr.} To try to hope when things lookblack; hold to hope in bad trouble. The mother continued to hopeagainst hope although the plane was hours late. Jane hoped againsthope that Joe would call her....
  10. Don’t do while drivingWe do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also ... Читать далее...
  11. Значение идиомы bullet lane[bullet lane] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} The passing lane. Move over into the bullet lane, this eighteen wheeler is moving too slow....
  12. Перевод слова laneLane — переулок, дорожка, тропинка Перевод слова Lanes and alleys — закоулки the country lanes — узкие сельские тропинки traffic lane — полоса движения I moved out into the second Lane. Я переместился на вторую дорожку. That idiot changed Lanes without signalling. Этот идиот сменили полосу без предупреждения. On the M40, there are Lane closures ... Читать далее...
  13. Tupac Shakur’s Godmother Added to FBI Most-Wanted Terrorists ListJoanne Chesimard aka Assata Shakur, Tupac Shakur. Joanne Chesimard, a. k. a. Assata Shakur, was convicted of murder in 1977. Tupac Shakur’s godmother has been placed on the FBI’s Most-Wanted Terrorists list, becoming the first woman added to the list and only the second domestic terrorist. Joanne Chesimard, now known as Assata Shakur, was convicted ... Читать далее...
  14. Pope DiesPope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon ... Читать далее...
  15. ‘Will you stay with me?’: The No One Dies Alone programANYONE WHO’S BEEN A NURSE for any length of time has known the feeling of being left with an an unpleasant, lingering memory from a patient case. It may be an error made, an innocent oversight, a decision that reflects lack of judgment, or something said-or even not said-by a patient. Whatever the circumstance, few ... Читать далее...
  16. This fellow dies and goes to heavenThis fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions. Guy: «Why are girls so pretty?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls soft?» God: «So you’ll like them.» Guy: «Why are girls so dumb?» God: «So they’ll like you.»...
  17. Fidel dies and goes to heavenFidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself ... Читать далее...
  18. Перевод слова hopeHope — надеяться, надежда Перевод слова Hopes of success — надежды на успех hopes of peace — мирные чаяния my extreme hope — моя последняя надежда We Hope that you are comfortable. Надеемся, тебе удобно. We had high Hopes for her. Мы возлагали на нее большие надежды. I Hope to reckon roundly. Я надеюсь полностью ... Читать далее...
  19. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heavenA pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: «You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in ... Читать далее...
  20. Henry Ford dies and goes to heavenHenry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Ford, «Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.» Ford thinks about it and says, «I wanna ... Читать далее...
  21. A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised whenA fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place. «Well,» said the demon, «the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes ... Читать далее...
  22. Значение идиомы live in the fast lane[live in the fast lane] {v. phr.}, {informal} To live a full andvery active life pursuing wealth and success. They have been livingin the fast lane ever since they arrived in New York City....
  23. Значение идиомы have one’s ears on[have one’s ears on] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radiojargon} To have one’s CB radio in receiving condition. Good buddyin the eighteen wheeler southbound, got your ears on?...
  24. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
  25. Перевод идиомы cross one’s heart (and hope to die), значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: cross one’s heart (and hope to die) Перевод: клясться, уверять, что что-либо сказанное является правдой; быть готовым перекреститься в качестве правдивости чего-либо Пример: «I promise that I will give you the money next week. Cross my heart and hope to die.» Обещаю, что на следующей неделе дам тебе деньги. Умереть мне на этом месте....
  26. Значение идиомы lovers’ lane[lovers’ lane] {n.} A hidden road or walk where lovers walk or parkin the evening. A parked car in a lonely lovers’ lane often is achance for holdup men....
  27. Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the countrySeems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night. «Sure,» said the farmer, «my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 ... Читать далее...
  28. Understanding Your PaycheckGROSS PAY: $1222.02 INCOME TAX OUTGO TAX STATE TAX INTERSTATE TAX COUNTY TAX 244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 6.11 CITY TAX RURAL TAX BACK TAX FRONT TAX SIDE TAX 12.22 4.44 1.11 1.16 1.61 UP TAX DOWN TAX KNICKNACK TAX HACKENSAC TAX THUMBTAX 2.22 1.11 1.98 3.93 0.98 CARPET TAX SNACK TAX SURTAX MA’AM TAX PARKING ... Читать далее...
  29. Значение идиомы hand[hand] See: AT HAND, BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ONE, CLEAN HANDS, DIRTY ONE’S HANDS, EAT OUTOF ONE’S HAND, FORCE ONE’S HAND, FREE HAND, FROM HAND TO HAND, GLADHAND, HAM-HANDED, HANG HEAVY or HANG HEAVY ON ONE’S HANDS, HAT INHAND, HAVE A HAND IN, HAVE ... Читать далее...
  30. Значение идиомы hand in hand[hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. — Used with «go». Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....
  31. Getting MuggedVanessa: Stop thief! Police Officer: What happened? Vanessa: I just got Mugged. That guy stole my Purse, Jewelry, camera – all of my Valuables! Police Officer: Were you wearing Flashy jewelry and carrying an expensive camera? Those are big Enticements for muggers. Vanessa: I didn’t have anything on that was flashy and I was Minding ... Читать далее...
  32. Frasier’s dog Eddie dies aged 16Moose the dog, better known as Eddie in US sitcom Frasier, has died aged 16 in Los Angeles, his trainer has said. The Jack Russell terrier passed away of old age last week at trainer Mathilde Halberg’s home, she told People magazine and the Access Hollywood show. «He just had an incredible charisma and was ... Читать далее...
  33. There was a man and woman traveling along in their carThere was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says «Did you know you were speeding back there.» The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband «What did he say, what did ... Читать далее...
  34. Bush as a post turtleWhile suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush’s health care reform ideas. The old man said «Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle». So, not knowing what he ... Читать далее...
  35. From a Southwest Airlines employee«Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, ... Читать далее...
  36. 8-year-old boy rescues 6 relatives from fire, dies trying to save 7thIn his final moments, 8-year-old Tyler Doohan managed to rescue six people — including two younger children — from a burning mobile home in upstate New York, authorities said. A last-ditch effort, however, to save his disabled grandfather cost the boy his life. His body was found next to his grandfather, whom Tyler considered a ... Читать далее...
  37. Karam Chand, 110, believed to be longest-married diesThe couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who ... Читать далее...
  38. Значение идиомы one eye on[one eye on] {informal} Watching or minding while doing something else; part of your attention on. — Used after»have», «keep», or «with». Jane had one eye on the baby as sheironed. Bill kept one eye on his books and the other on theclock. Chris tried to study with one eye on the TV set. Compare:KEEP ... Читать далее...
  39. Значение идиомы in hand[in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your ... Читать далее...
  40. Значение идиомы mile markers[mile markers] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} Smallsigns along interstate highways usually bearing a number. TheSmokey is located at 131 mile marker....

Hope never dies