Giuseppi walks into work, and he says

Related topics:

1. George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DCGeorge W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. «I’ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,» answers the President. «But sir, what about the mad cow?!!» asks the waiter. «Oh,» answers Dubya, «she’ll order for herself.»...
2. Celebrations in the USAThe population of the USA is made up of people of different nationalities. Centuries ago they brought with them their native celebrations. Some holidays which are marked in the United States originated in America. The number of holidays is different in different states — from 8 in the District of Columbia to 20 in Oklahoma. ... Читать далее...
3. Washington (4)The capital of the United States of America was founded in 1791 in the District of Columbia. The capital received the name of Washington — after the name of the commander-in-chief of the American army in the War for Independence who became the first President of the United States. President Washington himself took an active ... Читать далее...
4. Why was Washington made the capital of the United States?After the War of Independence the United States needed a capital city. Different cities in different parts of the country wanted to be the nation’s capital. After all, it was decided to build a new city. In 1791 George Washington, the first president, chose the place where the city now stands. The land around the ... Читать далее...
5. Washington, D. CThe city of Washington, the capital of the United States ofAmerica is located in the District of Columbia (DC for short)Many people consider Washington DC to be one of the most beatifulcities in the world. It is filled with many parks, wide streetsand impressive buildings. In the centre of the city, in CapitolPark, visitors’ eyes ... Читать далее...
6. President precedentDifference Between a Bad *President* and a Bad *Precedent* … BAD *PRECEDENT: Tipper: «How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?» Al: «Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I’d do it all again.» … BAD *PRESIDENT: Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear — ... Читать далее...
7. Washington (2)Washington is the capital city of the United States. It is located on the north bank of the Potomac River. George Washington, the first President of the USA, after whom the city was named, selected an area for the capital. A hundred square miles were taken from states of Maryland and Virginia. It was called ... Читать далее...
8. Abraham Lincoln (2)Abraham Lincoln was the son of a poor farmer. He was born in 1809 and his childhood was spent in hard work. He helped his father on their small farm. But in 1816, when Abraham was only 7 years old, his father lost his farm and his family moved to another part of the country. ... Читать далее...
9. Helping this countryOne night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the ... Читать далее...
10. Ghosts in a White HouseOne night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington’s ghost in the White House. «George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?» Clinton asked. «Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,» advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. «Tom, ... Читать далее...
11. Abraham LincolnLincoln was one of the most famous presidents of the USA. He was born in the family of a poor farmer in 1809 in Kentucky, but soon his family left for the wild forestland of Indiana. He was taught reading, writing and simple arithmetic, as his family could not afford better education. When he was ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off ... Читать далее...
13. Who is doing the work around here?The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work. People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work. Because of the 31 million government employees, there are ... Читать далее...
14. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
15. A woman walks into her accountant’s office andA woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, «Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.» He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, «What is your occupation?» The woman replies, «I’m a whore.» The accountant balks ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы all walks of life[all walks of life] {n. phr.} All socioeconomic groups; all professions and lines of work. A good teacher has to be able to communicate with students from all walks of life. A clever politician doesn’t alienate people from any walk of life....
17. Three acurate guessesOne of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up behind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, «I’m going to kiss you if you can’t tell me who I am in three guesses.» She quickly answered, «George Washington! Thomas Jefferson! Abraham Lincoln!»...
18. A woman walks into a pet storeA woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, «I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.» «No worries,» replies the clerk. ... Читать далее...
19. Cities of the USAAmong large and famous American cities there are Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York. Washington is the capital of the USA. It is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. D. Washington chose the place. The city was founded in 1791 and named after the first president. Now ... Читать далее...
20. Washington (3)Washington, D. C., is the capital of the US. Its grew to become one of the most important and beautiful cities in the world. It is the site of impressive government buildings, magnificent monuments, important historical places, fine museums and malls. Every year Washington is visited by millions of tourists from all parts of the ... Читать далее...
21. Presidents should not swear in on a BibleBarack Obama’s hand lies on a Bible held by Michelle Obama as he is sworn in as the 44th U. S. president on January 20, 2009. U. S. presidents should not be sworn into office with their hand on a Bible. At Monday’s inauguration of his second term, President Barack Obama will raise his right ... Читать далее...
22. Summertime Vacations (Fast)I think the best summer vacation I’ve ever taken was when I went Out East a few years ago. Two of my friends and I went on a two-week road trip. At the time, I was living in St. Paul, Minnesota, in the Midwest of the United States. Anyway, we started off camping every night, ... Читать далее...
23. US CongressThe United States of America is a federal republic consisting of50 states. Each of them has its own goverment («stategoverment»). In some ways the United States are like 50 smallcountries. Each state has its own governor, its own police andits own laws. The present constitution was proclaimed in 1787 inPhiladelphia, the President is the head ... Читать далее...
24. George WashingtonGeorge Washington (1732-1799) won a lasting place in American History as the «Father of our Country». For nearly twenty years he guided his country much as a father cares for a growing child. Washington lived an exciting life in exciting times. As a boy, he explored the wilderness. When he grew older, he helped the ... Читать далее...
25. A customer walks into a restaurant and noticesA customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, «$500 if we fail to fill your order.» When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant ... Читать далее...
26. A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and ... Читать далее...
27. A tourist from the United States of AmericaA tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, «Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D. C. ... Читать далее...
28. A letter to John HinkleyMr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D. C. Dear John, Hillary and I just wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is ... Читать далее...
29. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
30. The USA (2)The United States of America is another important English-speaking country. It consists of fifty different states and the District of Columbia joined together under one government. The USA covers an area of almost 9400000 square kilometres and is twice as large as all the countries of Europe combined. It is placed in the middle of ... Читать далее...
31. Abraham Lincoln — Авраам ЛинкольнAbraham Lincoln was born in Hodgenville, Kentucky, on 12th February, 1809. His family was poor, so Lincoln didn’t go to school. He mostly studied at home. He used to borrow books or study the bible. At the age of 22, Lincoln left Kentucky and moved to the village of New Salem in Illinois. There, he ... Читать далее...
32. A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits downA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. «I’m sorry sir, but I am blind, and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I’ll smell it and order ... Читать далее...
33. Clinton is vacationingLast summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. ... Читать далее...
34. A panda bear walks into a restaurantA panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, «Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying ... Читать далее...
35. A duck walks into a general storeA duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,»Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. We have only canned and dry goods.» The next day, the duck returns. «Got any fresh fruit?» «No.» «Got any fresh vegetables?» «No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If ... Читать далее...
36. News from WashingtonWASHINGTON, DC — Frustrated by failed attempts to turn public support away from the president, congress today announced it would begin releasing completely fabricated documents and videotapes on Monday. Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed the press at the Capitol this morning. «We feel that with the release of all the documents from the Starr Inquisition, and ... Читать далее...
37. Washington — Вашингтон (2)The beautiful city of Washington D. C. is the capital of the United States and the centre of its government. The capital was named after the first president George Washington and was founded in 1790. It is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. Washington is not the largest city in the ... Читать далее...
38. A woman walks into a tattoo parlourA woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?’ ‘Why of course!’ ‘Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.’ ‘No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down ... Читать далее...
39. Биография Барака Обамы на английском языке. Biography of Barrack ObamaBarack H. Obama is the 44th President of the United States. His story is the American story — values from the heartland, a middle-class upbringing in a strong family, hard work and education as the means of getting ahead, and the conviction that a life so blessed should be lived in service to others. With ... Читать далее...
40. Washington — Вашингтон (3)Washington sprang out of a marshy wilderness. It’s named after George Washington, the first President of the United States. Washington is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. The District of Columbia is outside the jurisdiction of any state and subjects only to the control of the Federal Congress. Washington is the ... Читать далее...