For three years, the young attorney had been taking his

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1. A young lady had just visited her doctor A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The […]...
2. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat […]...
3. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. “Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.” The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on […]...
4. Speaking to a Baby or Young Child My sister had to go out of town for a couple of days and I offered To look after her 18-month-old Twins. It wasn’t long before I realized that I was Over my head! … Colleen: Okay, you two, it’s time to go Beddy-bye. Baby: No! Colleen: Yes, let’s get your Jammies on. You can […]...
5. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
6. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said “you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too […]...
7. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
8. Перевод идиомы up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years Перевод: старый, пожилой Пример: Although our grandparents are up in years they still have much energy. Хоть наши дедушка и бабушка уже пожилые, они все еще полны энергии....
9. Getting Shocking News Karla: You look like you’ve had a Shock. Chris: Yeah, that phone call Threw me for a loop. My ex-girlfriend is Pregnant and she wants me to take a Paternity test. Karla: Wow, that’s quite a Bombshell. Are you going to do it? Chris: Of course. If the baby is Biologically mine, I want to […]...
10. US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After fifteen minutes speaking he says: ‘I will now answer any questions you have.’ Bobby stands up and says: ‘I have four questions’: 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why […]...
11. One day shortly after the birth of their new baby One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby […]...
12. A pregnant woman is about to give birth A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. […]...
13. Not this time There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his […]...
14. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
15. Перевод слова pregnant Pregnant – беременная; полный смысла, важный Перевод слова Pregnant woman – беременная женщина mature pregnant cow – взрослая стельная корова pregnant years – годы, насыщенные важными событиями words pregnant with meaning – слова, полные глубокого смысла She was heavily Pregnant. Она была на последних месяцах беременности. She’s Pregnant with their first child. Она беременна их […]...
16. A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. […]...
17. A young girl had not been feeling well A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. “Young lady,” the doctor began, “you’re pregnant.” “But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.” “Well my dear,” said the doctor, “someone in that colony is […]...
18. A Scandal Caridad: Look at this! The president of McQuillan University Is stepping down. He submitted his Resignation this morning after an undergraduate student made Allegations that they had an Affair and that she’s Pregnant with his baby. Nate: That’s terrible. Maybe they were in love. Caridad: In love? He’s married and has four kids, and when […]...
19. Перевод слова cry Cry – кричать, плакать, молить Перевод слова To cry aloud – громко кричать, орать to cry for help – взывать о помощи conquest cry – победный возглас How he Cried to me for help! Как он молил меня о помощи! Upstairs, a baby began to Cry. Наверху начал плакать ребенок. With a Cry, she rushed […]...
20. A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re A couple gets married, and thirty years later they’re in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, “What’s the matter?” He says, “Thirty years ago I couldn’t wait to eat it. Now it […]...
21. Marrying Young Irene: Damon and his girlfriend just got Engaged. They’re planning on getting Married this summer. Ken: They’re too young! Marrying young Poses all kinds of problems. Irene: Such as? Ken: Such as the two of them lacking Maturity. They may think it’s fun To play house right now, but they’re not prepared to face the […]...
22. From rescuer to rescued: Doctor and paramedic save each other’s lives 30 years apart When Dr Michael Shannon saved the life of a premature baby 30 years ago, he would never have thought decades later, the favour would be returned. KTLA reported on Sunday the incredible story of two men in California who saved each other’s lives in two very different ways. The news station said that Dr Michael […]...
23. Перевод слова infant Infant – младенец, младенческий, детский Перевод слова Infant food – детское питание infant feeding – вскармливание грудного ребенка infant industry – зарождающаяся промышленность An Infant’s skin is very sensitive. Кожа маленького ребенка очень чувствительна. She is an Infant teacher. Она учит маленьких детей. Irregular suckling is a fruitful cause of illness in the Infant. Неправильное […]...
24. A young teenager comes home from school A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?” “Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it. “But then when […]...
25. There was a young man in the Air Force There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well – endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, “We’ll just take a big hunk off the end.” They discussed it […]...
26. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18 An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”...
27. When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.. I […]...
28. A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
29. A couple married forty years were revisiting the A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. His […]...
30. A young married woman A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?” She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.”...
31. Eating Unhealthy Foods Helen: So, what’s for lunch? Gabe: Since you were nice enough to spend your Saturday morning Helping me out, I’ll make sandwiches for lunch. I know it Doesn’t sound like much, but I Make a mean sandwich. Helen: That sounds good, but you’re not going to use those Cold cuts, are you? Gabe: I was. […]...
32. Taking the final exam Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ________.” Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But […]...
33. Opposites attract “You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common,” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married?” “I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract’,” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”...
34. Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on […]...
35. Перевод слова learned Learned – ученый, научный, мудреный Перевод слова Learned scholar – ученый муж learned in the law – сведущий в юриспруденции learned society – научное общество learned book – мудреная книга Bessie’s mind was not quite in tune with the profundities of that Learned journal. Уму Бесси был чужд высокопарный стиль этого ученого журнала. It looks […]...
36. So you don not know Jack Schitt So you don’t know Jack Schitt He’s the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva […]...
37. Dating a Younger Man/Woman Tadashi: Was that Diane you were talking to Just now? Helen: Yeah, do you know her? Tadashi: Diane and I Used to work together. She looked happy. Helen: Yeah, she’s dating a new man. I just got The scoop. He’s not her usual Type. Tadashi: What do you mean? Helen: Well, he’s a little younger […]...
38. The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if were sick as he looked absolutely terrible. “Well…” said the Engineer, “I met this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and wanted me to tutor her. One thing lead to another and we […]...
39. A farmer walked into an attorney office A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.” The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, ” No, […]...
40. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...