Every precaution

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1. Перевод слова precaution Precaution – предосторожность, мера предосторожности Перевод слова Necessary precaution – необходимая мера предосторожности every possible precaution – все возможные меры предосторожности ordinary precaution – обычная степень предусмотрительности Nails must be... ...
2. Problems Getting Along With Family Oscar: So you’re back from your mother’s birthday dinner. How was it? Priscilla: Same old, same old. It isn’t a family gathering without a major Meltdown or Blowup. Oscar: Yikes,... ...
3. Перевод слова pregnant Pregnant – беременная; полный смысла, важный Перевод слова Pregnant woman – беременная женщина mature pregnant cow – взрослая стельная корова pregnant years – годы, насыщенные важными событиями words pregnant with... ...
4. A young lady had just visited her doctor A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby... ...
5. Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has... ...
6. I just did all of that After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his... ...
7. Flies A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She... ...
8. An effective contraceptive After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules)... ...
9. MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS Humor story by Larry Graves Website: http://www. gravetimes. com MY TWO “DELICATE” OPERATIONS A few years ago, I had two operations in the space of a couple of Months. These... ...
10. A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn’t usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a... ...
11. Take in a boarder An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions. “Yes,” says the Doctor, “I would advise you to... ...
12. To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. “I won’t do it any more, Mom,” says the daughter. Next day... ...
13. It’s a sin “I’ve had it with my wife.” said the one drinking buddy to the other. “I’m filing for an divorce.” “Sorry to hear that pal.” said his partner. “May I ask... ...
14. A business man from New York decided to quit his job A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another... ...
15. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded.... ...
16. One day a lady went to the doctors office One day a lady went to the doctor’s office and told the doctor that her husband wasn’t interested in her any more he just wouldn’t have sex with her anymore.... ...
17. Amicable old lady “Dear Reyer School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen’s luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for... ...
18. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the... ...
19. Beautiful – in a sentence The teacher says, “Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today’s word is “beautiful”.... ...
20. The ages of man God created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack... ...
21. Pessimist and a dog An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a... ...
22. Opposites attract “You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common,” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married?” “I suppose it was the... ...
23. A man spoke frantically into the phone A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the emergency operator asked. “No, you... ...
24. Going crazy with confusion A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it... ...
25. A nun is walking down a deserted road when A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, “Hey Sister, what are you going... ...
26. A definition of God A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind,... ...
27. President Carter’s joke In an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to... ...
28. A helicopter was flying around above Seattle A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could... ...
29. An unfortunate situation A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day... ...
30. Перевод слова thought Thought – мысль, мышление Перевод слова To be deep in thought – глубоко задуматься depressing thought – гнетущая мысль absorbed in thought – погруженный в мысли The Thought that we... ...
31. The double-sided truth Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well,” the other responded, “when I get... ...
32. Where lawers come from An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?” “Certainly,” replies the doctor, “Where do you think lawyers come from?”...
33. Перевод слова dye Dye – красить, окрашивать; краска, краситель Перевод слова Synthetic dye – синтетическая краска to dye one’s hair – красить волосы to apply a dye to – наносить краску на She... ...
34. Перевод слова necessary Necessary – необходимый, нужный, неизбежный Перевод слова Necessary evil – неизбежное зло the necessary alternative – единственная альтернатива the necessary know-how – необходимые знания necessary precaution – необходимая мера предосторожности... ...
35. Pray hard A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one... ...
36. Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician’s office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you…” “I... ...
37. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got... ...
38. Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough... ...
39. A young girl had not been feeling well A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. “Young lady,” the doctor began, “you’re pregnant.” “But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been... ...
40. A man was being interviewed for a job A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer. “Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?”... ...