Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend

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1. Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking tripSherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, «Watson, look up. What do you see?» «Well, I see thousands of stars.» «And what does that mean to you?» «Well, I guess it means we will ... Читать далее...
2. Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wivesTwo buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. «Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?» asked one of the two. «Well, not exactly,» his friend replied, «She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.» «Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?» «Well… not exactly. More like ... Читать далее...
3. Camping holiday (opinion composition)I would think twice before going on a camping holiday. First of all, it is an occupation for a company, while I like to spend free time alone. Second, you should sleep in a tent. Personally I find it uncomfortable. Third, you can get food poisoning because of the forest food, I find it awful. ... Читать далее...
4. A Camping TripMy friends and I decided to take a trip to Yosemite National Park To do some Camping and Hiking. We all like the Outdoors, but we all live in the city. We have all been Griping about Feeling cooped up so we decided to take a Road trip. This trip would give all of us ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова weekendWeekend — выходные Перевод слова A weekend bender — воскресная попойка weekend guest — гость, приехавший на выходные weekend father — «воскресный» папа I’m free next Weekend. Я свободен в ближайшие выходные. He spent a Weekend in London. Выходные он провел в Лондоне. I never work at the Weekend. Я никогда не работаю по выходным. ... Читать далее...
6. Types of campingMost people drive to a campsite and set up a tent there. This is easy because you can take everything you need for your camping holiday in your car with you. In most cases you will choose a campsite that is near the road. Travelling in recreational vehicles is more comfortable but also much more ... Читать далее...
7. Two senior couples are walking along, wives in frontTwo senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, «Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.» Sam says, «Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?» Herb says, «You’ll going to ... Читать далее...
8. Two wives were airing their troublesTwo wives were airing their troubles: «I’d like to get a divorce,» said the first. «My husband and I just don’t get along.» «Why don’t you sue him for incompatibility?» asked the second. «I would if I could catch him at it,» replied the first....
9. Ideal Seduction LineAge Line 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead....
10. Silent treatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and ... Читать далее...
11. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away togetherTwo couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, «Wow! This is the very best sex I had in ... Читать далее...
12. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Планы на выходные» (Weekend plans)— Helen, do you know our office is organizing a trip to the island? Are you coming? — Oh, that sounds great! Is it this weekend? — No, the next one. Do you have any plans for the next Saturday and Sunday? — What a pity! It’s not possible. I already have some big plans. ... Читать далее...
13. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова tentTent — палатка, шатер Перевод слова Lightweight tent — облегченная палатка tent bed — походная кровать, кровать с балдахином to peg the tent — закрепить палатку колышками Our sole accommodation was a Tent barely able to contain eight persons. Нашим единственным убежищем была палатка, едва вмещавшая восемь человек. The Tent sleeps five adults. Эта палатка ... Читать далее...
15. Как я провел выходные/ How I Spent My WeekendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык How I Spent My Weekend Как я провел выходные Weekend is something that I really look forward to after six busy days at school. I think, every person, whether an adult or a child, cannot work all the time and needs time for rest. That’s why weekends are ... Читать далее...
16. Four married guys go golfingFour married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: «You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: «That’s nothing, ... Читать далее...
17. My WeekendВ топике Мои выходные я расскажу, как я провел последнее воскресенье. Ко мне пришли в гости мои друзья, и мы хорошо провели время, посмотрев передачу «Что? Где? Когда?» и художественный фильм «День независимости», который мне очень понравился. Потом мы пошли на спортивную площадку, где мы играли в футбол и баскетбол. Я люблю рассказывать о своих ... Читать далее...
18. Выходные/ WeekendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Weekend Выходные I think, any person loves weekend very much. So I also wait for them all the week. The previous weekend I spend very merry and interesting. My family and I decided to go to a picnic. We started to prepare beforehand: father and brother bought the ... Читать далее...
19. Twenty men die and go to heavenTwenty men die and go to heaven. When they arrive they are told to seperate into two lines. One for all the husbands that are under their wives control and they other for those that control their wives. After the men seperate one of the angels notices that their are nineteen men in the first ... Читать далее...
20. What to do to get golfFour married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: «Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: ... Читать далее...
21. Ужасные выходные/ Terrible WeekendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Terrible Weekend Ужасные выходные We all love weekends, but not all of them are good. Recently I’ve had the worst weekend in my life. As usually I was hoping to spend great time with my family, my friends and my dog, but everything went wrong at that terrible ... Читать далее...
22. My Weekend (2)В топике Мои выходные (2) я рассказываю, как обычно проходят мои выходные дни: суббота и воскресенье. По субботам я встаю позже 9-ти часов утра, затем – поздний завтрак с чем-нибудь вкусным, потом я обычно иду гулять в парк со своей собакой. По вечерам в выходные, наша семья навещает бабушку и дедушку или других родственников. Часто ... Читать далее...
23. Minor Medical InjuriesCherise: Rise and shine! Isn’t it a lovely day? I love Getting back to nature. There’s nothing like going Camping. How did you sleep? Evan: That was the most Miserable night of my life! Cherise: Really? What happened? Evan: I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard a bear. I ... Читать далее...
24. Мои выходные/ My WeekendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Weekend Мои выходные Most people in our country work and study five or six days a week. Saturdays and Sundays are usually days off. I’m not an exception. My name is Alex. I study at the ninth form of the secondary school. This year I’ve attending school ... Читать далее...
25. Giving Birth in a HospitalIt was 2 o’clock in the morning when my wife woke me up. She is eight-and-a-half months Pregnant and she told me that her Water had broken. She said that she was having Contractions and she was sure that she was In labor. I Paged our doctor and drove to the hospital. When we arrived, ... Читать далее...
26. How to call penisAt a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a ... Читать далее...
27. The definition of a phallic symbolThis girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks «Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says «you’re kidding..» Girl says «no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???» Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says «You see? This is a failic symbol!» Girl says «Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller»...
28. Having the equipmentA couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up real early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar ... Читать далее...
29. A guy was sitting in a bar when a strangerA guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, «If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?» «Hell no!» the guy said. The stranger then asked, «If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used ... Читать далее...
30. A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an AustralianA Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, «You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer! The Scotsman ... Читать далее...
31. The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morningThe new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. «Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?» The Vicar ... Читать далее...
32. Controlling your spouseThere were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, «Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы morning after[morning after] {n.}, {slang} The effects of drinking liquor orstaying up late as felt the next morning; a hangover. One of thetroubles of drinking too much liquor is the morning after. Mr. Smith woke up with a big headache and knew it was the morning after....
34. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven yearsBad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, «F. F.» His wife turned to him and answered, «E. F.» Out on the highway, he ... Читать далее...
35. Планы на выходные/ Plans For The WeekendНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Plans For The Weekend Планы на выходные My name is Rita and I’m fourteen years old. I study at the local state school at the eighth form. During the weekdays I attend my school and at weekends I’m busy going out with my friends. However my weekends can ... Читать далее...
36. Топик «Как я провел выходные» (How I spent my last weekend)My last weekend was one of the most enjoyable ones. My weekdays are usually monotonous and hard, so I always long for Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately my weekend is too short, that is why I do my best to make it really exciting. Nothing extraordinary happened last Saturday because I was at school till 2 ... Читать далее...
37. A man sat quietly reading his morning paperA man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: «What was that for?» Wife: «Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with «Daisy» written on it?» Man: «Oh honey, ... Читать далее...
38. Supplies for Outdoor RecreationJim: I shouldn’t have let my brother pack my Supplies for this trip. I was running late and he offered to do it. Fumiko: What’s the problem? Jim: He Doesn’t know the first thing about Hiking or Camping. Look at this! My backpack is filled with bottles of water! Fumiko: What’s wrong with that? Jim: ... Читать далее...
39. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a barAn Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, «I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a ... Читать далее...
40. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «Планы на выходные (Plans For The Weekend)»По-английски Перевод на русский Kate: Hi, Lucy. How are you? Кейт: Привет, Люси. Как ты? Lucy: Hi, Kate. I’m fine, thank you. And you? Люси: Привет, Кейт. Спасибо, все в порядке. А как ты? Kate: I’m also fine. Actually, I wanted to ask you if you have any plans for the weekend? Кейт: У меня ... Читать далее...