Detective report

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1. A chinese detectiveA man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later he received this letter. Most Honorable Sir, You leave house, He come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы house detective[house detective] {n.} A detective employed by a hotel, store, orother business to watch for any trouble. The one-armed man sweepingthe bank floor was really the house detective....
3. A jealous husband hires a private detectiveA jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get. Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all ... Читать далее...
4. Simple CuriosityMy wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact «cheating» on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, «Well not so much to find out who the other ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова reportReport — сообщать, докладывать; доклад, отчет Перевод слова Final report — окончательный доклад to draw up a report — составлять отчет in printed-report format — в форме печатного доклада I Reported her to the supervisor Я сообщил о ней начальнику. She left the Report for me. Она поручила доклад мне. The Report was endorsed. Отчет ... Читать далее...
6. Детектив/ A Detective StoryНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык A Detective Story Детектив There are many interesting genres in literature which I admire, but my favourite books are detective stories. Such books usually contain crime and mystery, which are later solved by smart detectives. One of the best-known detectives of all times was Sherlock Holmes. Everybody has ... Читать далее...
7. Dealing With the PaparazziFredo: I feel like a Prisoner in my own home! I can’t step outside without the Paparazzi snapping pictures of me. They Stake out my house 24 hours a day. Amanda: I suppose that’s The price of fame. You do have the most popular podcast in the world. Fredo: But they’re such a Pain in ... Читать далее...
8. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
9. Listening to a Traffic ReportEvery afternoon before I leave work, I listen to the Traffic report to see if I should take my usual route home or make a Detour. So today, like every day, I turned on my radio. “It’s a tough Commute today if you’re traveling on I-35 north. There’s a major Slowdown due to an Overturned ... Читать далее...
10. A fair offerOne day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his ... Читать далее...
11. Stock market reportToday’s Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы take the law into one’s own hands[take the law into one’s own hands] {v. phr.} To protect one’ssupposed rights or punish a suspected wrongdoer without reference to acourt. — An overused expression. When the men of the settlementcaught the suspected murderer, they took the law into their own handsand hanged him to a tree. His farm was going to be sold ... Читать далее...
13. Uh-Oh!!The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the «other man». The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had ... Читать далее...
14. This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decidedThis guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. ... Читать далее...
15. The accident reportDear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put «poor planning» as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an ... Читать далее...
16. I just needed to use your carAfter shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, ... Читать далее...
17. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf gameBill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an ... Читать далее...
18. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
19. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified toA wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова ChineseChinese — китаец, китаянка, китайский Перевод слова Chinese characters — китайские иероглифы the Chinese government — китайское правительство indo chinese — индокитайский She works in a Chinese takeaway. Она работает в ресторане китайской еды на вынос. We ordered some Chinese takeout. Мы заказали некоторые китайские блюда с собой. He is learning to speak Chinese. Он ... Читать далее...
21. A group of Americans was touring IrelandA group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. «Good luck will be followin’ ... Читать далее...
22. You might be a redneck if 02You might be a redneck if… Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You’ve ever been arrested for loitering. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouvre. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it ... Читать далее...
23. Christmas tree betterReasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman» A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb ... Читать далее...
24. Little Johnny tried out for the school playLittle Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: «Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I’ll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.» Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. ... Читать далее...
25. What to do to get golfFour married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: «Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: ... Читать далее...
26. Marriage quotes 10Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish ... Читать далее...
27. Marriage quotes 11My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова kissKiss — поцелуй Перевод слова Deep kiss — глубокий поцелуй, французский поцелуй to kiss the hare’s foot — поцеловать порог, опоздать to throw a kiss — послать воздушный поцелуй Give us a Kiss. Поцелуй меня. She Kissed him goodnight. Она поцеловала его на ночь. Kiss my ass! Поцелуй меня в задницу! Интересные факты KISS — ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы foul play[foul play] {n.} Treachery; a criminal act. After they discovered the dead body, the police suspected foul play. «She must have met with foul play,» the chief inspector said whenthey couldn’t find the 12-year-old girl who had disappeared....
30. All the sameAn airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: «I don’t like Chinese.» The First Officer replies: «Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why ... Читать далее...
31. Four married guys go golfingFour married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: «You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: «That’s nothing, ... Читать далее...
32. You might be a redneck if 05You might be a redneck if… You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin’ dog. You’re an expert on worm beds. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. Your wife has ever said, «Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!» Your family tree ... Читать далее...
33. Actual Science Tests ReportThese are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state. When ... Читать далее...
34. Confuse Santa Claus1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask ... Читать далее...
35. Once some boys got together to play pokerOnce some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn’t know how ... Читать далее...
36. Finding a Chinese JewSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. «Sid,» asked Al, «are there any Jews in China?» «I don’t know,» Sid replied. «Why don’t we ask the waiter?» When the waiter came by, Al asked him, «Are there any Chinese Jews?» «I don’t know sir, let me ask,» the waiter replied, and he went ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы take off[take off] {v. phr.} 1a. To leave fast; depart suddenly; run away. The dog took off after a rabbit. Compare: LIGHT OUT. 1b.{informal} To go away; leave. The six boys got into the car andtook off for the drug store. 2. To leave on a flight, begin going up. A helicopter is able to take ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы kiss someone[kiss someone] or [something goodbye] {v. phr.} To lose or give upsomeone or something forever. «If you won’t marry Jane,» Peter saidto Tom, «you might as well kiss her goodbye.» People who bet on alosing horse at the races might as well kiss their money goodbye....
39. Passing Through Airport SecurityRoland: Why are you so nervous about flying? Natalie: I’m not nervous about being in the air. It’s going through Security. I hear it’s a Hassle and I don’t want to end up being Strip-searched. Roland: You won’t be strip-searched. All you need to do is to follow a few simple rules. When you get ... Читать далее...
40. Working With The FBIThe phone rings at FBI headquarters. «Hello?» «Hello, is this the FBI?» «Yes. What do you want?» «I’m calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.» «Thank you very much for the call, sir.» The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux’s house. They search the shed where ... Читать далее...