Democrats on the front porch

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1. There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s […]...
2. Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, “Damn…3 .2 meters!” The second one looks furtively around and says, “No police, anywhere. We can go!”...
3. Democrats Republicans 1. Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. 2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. 3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes. 4. Democrats give their worn-out […]...
4. The three wishes An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when–all of a sudden–a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. “Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really […]...
5. Перевод слова front Front – перед, передняя часть Перевод слова Look to your front – смотри вперед the table of contents is in the front of the book – оглавление находится в начале книги the fine front of a house – красивый фасад дома front man – подставное лицо Dibs on the Front seat! Чур, я на переднем […]...
6. Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911 Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How […]...
7. Перевод слова republican Republican – республиканский, республиканец Перевод слова Republican government – республиканское правительство republican doctrines – республиканские доктрины republican form of government – республиканская форма правления He is reliably Republican. Он преданный республиканец. She registered as a Republican. Она записалась в республиканцы. This newspaper is just a Republican mouthpiece. Эта газета всего лишь рупор республиканцев. rel=”nofollow”>...
8. Значение идиомы in front of [in front of] prep. Ahead of; before. The rabbit was running infront of the dog. A big oak tree stood in front of the building. Contrast: IN BACK OF....
9. Перевод слова operator Operator – оператор Перевод слова Crane operator – оператор подъемного крана, крановщик ham operator – радиолюбитель, оператор любительской радиостанции tour operator – тур-оператор The Operator put my call right through. Телефонистка сразу же соединила меня. Reagan was a shrewd political Operator. Рейган был искусным политиком. Operator, please connect me with extension 123. Оператор, пожалуйста, соедините […]...
10. Значение идиомы front office [front office] {n.}, {informal} The group of persons who manage abusiness; the officers. The front office decides how much theworkers are paid....
11. Значение идиомы front and center [front and center] {adv.}, {slang} Used as a command to a person togo to someone who wants him. Front and center, Smith. The bosswants to see you....
12. Значение идиомы front court [front court] {n.} The half of a basketball court that is abasketball team’s offensive zone. The guard brought the ball up tothe front court....
13. Перевод идиомы front runner, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: front runner Перевод: лидер в соревнованиях, на выборах Пример: He was a front runner, and everybody was sure he would win. Он был лидером, и все были уверены, что он победит....
14. Making an Emergency Medical Call Operator: Emergency operator. State your emergency. Dirk: We need an Ambulance right away. Operator: What is your name? Dirk: Dirk. Dirk Omora. Operator: Can you tell me what happened? Dirk: There was a Car accident. Operator: Where are you? Dirk: I’m not sure. I was driving in my car when I saw the Pileup. I’m […]...
15. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. “What the hell is your problem?” the lady asked. “I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,” the man moaned. The lady reached […]...
16. Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates… “I know you haven’t been getting much lately…but I didn’t know you were so worried about it!”...
17. A police officer came upon a terrible wreck A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at […]...
18. So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite, he was really having a difficult time. The kite was swinging wildly, not exactly what you’d describe as stable, so his wife sticks her head out the door and says, “Gee Ralph, it looks like you need more tail.” Ralph replies “Make up […]...
19. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Pay up front” Customer Посетитель What do I need to rent a mailbox? Что мне нужно, чтобы арендовать почтовый ящик? Clerk Клерк Just your passport, and you have to fill out these papers. Только ваш паспорт, и еще вам нужно заполнить эти документы. Customer Посетитель What else should I know? Что еще мне нужно знать? Clerk Клерк You […]...
20. Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.” Sam says, “Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?” Herb says, “You’ll going to […]...
21. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
22. Buying A Bull Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last […]...
23. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
24. Перевод слова fool Fool – дурак; дурачиться, баловаться Перевод слова Arrant fool – набитый дурак he is no fool – он вовсе не дурак to fool away time – бесцельно тратить время Don’t behave like a Fool. Не веди себя как дурак. Stop acting a Fool. Перестань строить из себя шута. I was a Fool to trust him. […]...
25. Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
26. Why is the Donkey a Symbol of the Democrat Party? The donkey was first associated with the Democratic Party during the 1828 presidential election when opponents of Democratic candidate Andrew Jackson referred to him as a “jackass.” Before getting into the answer to this question, we should first address an terminology issue – the difference between the “Democrat Party” and the “Democratic Party.” The proper […]...
27. An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, “Operator, giff me beck the party!” She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.” He says, “What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.” She […]...
28. Deaf lady in trouble One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his […]...
29. A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, “Lady, if […]...
30. You might be a redneck if 03 You might be a redneck if… There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his […]...
31. A little boy and his dad are standing in line A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, “hey dad, look how fat that lady is!” “Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.” “But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!” “Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!” […]...
32. Here is this guy who really takes care of his body Here is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it. He goes to the […]...
33. Willy’s rolling down the hall of a retirement home Willy’s rolling down the hall of a retirement home acting like he’s driving a car, an orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he’s doing. Willy replies, “I’m going to Chicago for the weekend.” The orderly chuckles and enters Bob’s room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he […]...
34. Перевод слова afraid Afraid – испуганный, боящийся Перевод слова To be afraid of smth. – бояться чего-л. to make afraid – пугать to be half afraid – опасаться Don’t be Afraid to ask for help. Не бойтесь просить о помощи. I’m Afraid you’re wrong. Я боюсь, что вы неправы. I’m Afraid I’ve overdone the vegetables. Кажется, я переварил […]...
35. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
36. During WW II an American soldier During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not […]...
37. Значение идиомы put up a (brave [put up a front] {v. phr.} To act courageously, even though one is actually afraid. When Joe was taken in for hisopen heart surgery, he put up a brave front, although his hands wereshaking....
38. My friend is dead! Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: […]...
39. Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her weight-watchers meeting.”My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure.” she lamented to the woman next to her. “Well,” the lady replied, “what’s wrong with that?” “He likes to do it while […]...
40. Little Johnny tried out for the school play Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: “Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I’ll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.” Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. […]...