Collection 12

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1. Collection 16 At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one. You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes. They say that travel broadens […]...
2. Collection 08 For two cents, I’d give you a piece of my mind – and all of yours. You are the only person I’ve ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time! You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth! I heard you went to see the […]...
3. Перевод слова liar Liar – лгун Перевод слова Outright liar – отъявленный лгун pathological liar – патологический лгун slimy little liar – гнусный лгунишка She called him a dirty Liar. Она назвала его грязным лжецом. We soon had him pegged as a Liar. Скоро мы поняли, что он лгун. I’m afraid she’s also an adept Liar. К сожалению, […]...
4. Collection 04 I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I’ll think so. Man alive! But I wish you weren’t. I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. Is your […]...
5. Перевод слова thief Thief – вор Перевод слова To catch a thief – поймать вора to accuse smb. as a thief – обвинять кого-л. в воровстве petty thief – мелкий воришка The policeman caught the Thief. Полицейский задержал вора. The girl was set on by a Thief in the park. На девушку в парке напал грабитель. He had […]...
6. Collection 03 Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips […]...
7. Collection 07 I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department – by a pair of handcuffs. Hello – tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean – you make me sick. You should have been born in the […]...
8. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
9. Collection 01 If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people’s hair. […]...
10. Значение идиомы go on [go on] {v.} 1a. To continue; not stop. After he was hit by theball, Billy quit pitching and went home, but the game went on. TheTV picture began to jump, and it went on like that until Father turneda knob. I asked Jane a question but she went on reading and didn’tanswer. Mother told Jim […]...
11. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front […]...
12. Collection 06 We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, “Do not come home and all will be forgiven”. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I […]...
13. Collection 02 Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that’s the best friend you can get. I don’t think you are a fool. But then, what’s my own humble opinion against thousands of others? Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how […]...
14. Перевод слова admire Admire – любоваться, восторгаться Перевод слова Admire a baby – любоваться младенцем admire landscape – любоваться природой; любоваться видом them I do not admire – вот ими-то я отнюдь не восхищаюсь I Admire his honesty. Я высоко ценю его честность. I Admire her gritty determination to succeed. Я восхищаюсь ее твердой решимостью добиться успеха. We […]...
15. Collection 05 Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It’s your life – but I wish you’d let us have it. Hey, act your age – senile! I’ve had many cases of love that […]...
16. Collection 13 We know that you would give your life for us. Promise! When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity. Well, I’ll see you in my dreams – if I eat too much. Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach. […]...
17. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
18. Collection 15 If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You’re nobody’s fool. Let’s see if we can get someone to adopt […]...
19. A lying cheat Dear Abby: My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers […]...
20. Перевод слова courage Courage – бесстрашие, мужество, отвага Перевод слова Reckless courage – безрассудная отвага to lose courage – испугаться don’t lose courage! – мужайтесь! They resumed their Courage. Они вновь обрели мужество. Her Courage has inspired us. Ее смелость вдохновила нас. Sue showed great Courage throughout her illness. Сью проявила большую стойкость в течение всей ее болезни. […]...
21. A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. “Nothing,” said the woman. Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids […]...
22. Collection 10 Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex – and it’s fully justified. You are not as bad as people say – you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon? […]...
23. Collection 09 ClassYou must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us. You are master in your own house – the doghouse! When you die, I’d like […]...
24. Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked […]...
25. Little Johnny comes home from school Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother,”please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, […]...
26. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
27. A blond at a party was telling her friend A blond at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. “They lie, they cheat and they’re just no good. From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my vibrator” “So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend “I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”...
28. On their first night to be together On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. […]...
29. Значение идиомы have the courage of one’s convictions [have the courage of one’s convictions] {v. phr.} To be braveenough to act according to your beliefs. Steve showed that he hadthe courage of his convictions by refusing to help another studentcheat in the exam. Owen knew that Pete had started the fight, buthe was afraid to say so; he did not have the courage […]...
30. Перевод слова cheat Cheat – жульничать, мошенничать Перевод слова To cheat at cards – жульничать в карты to cheat an interlock – обходить охранную сигнализацию cheat death – чудом избежать смерти She Cheats on her husband. Она изменяет своему мужу. The players were accused of Cheating. Игроки были обвинены в мошенничестве. The clever salesman Cheated the old lady […]...
31. Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,”Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!”...
32. Take her apart! A young boy asked his mother “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?” “Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied by his mother The young boy answered ” The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass […]...
33. Last minute requests A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his […]...
34. A Movie Collection Some people collect stamps. Other people collect CDs. I collect movies. I’m a film Buff and I have a Collection of my favorite movies of all time. I usually buy a movie when it comes out on DVD, even if I’ve seen it already On the big screen. I have a High definition TV and […]...
35. Перевод идиомы cheat sheet, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: cheat sheet Перевод: шпаргалка Пример: The teacher caught this student using a cheat sheet at the exam. Учитель поймал ученика со шпаргалкой на экзамене....
36. Finding the right answers Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he shouldn’t ask it again. He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she wouldn’t answer the question and that he shouldn’t […]...
37. Значение идиомы screw up one’s courage [screw up one’s courage] or [pluck up one’s courage] {v. phr.} Toforce yourself to be brave. The small boy screwed up his courageand went upstairs in the dark. When his father came home in a badmood, it took Pete some time to screw up his courage and ask him for adollar. Compare: WHISTLE IN THE […]...
38. On preparing to return home from an out of town trip On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About […]...
39. The astronomy jokes NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn’t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover’s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text “press any key to continue”. It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player […]...
40. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, […]...