Collection 04

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1. Collection 08For two cents, I’d give you a piece of my mind — and all of yours. You are the only person I’ve ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time! You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth! I heard you went to see the ... Читать далее...
2. Collection 03Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I’ll arrange it with the undertaker. People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of. Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips ... Читать далее...
3. Collection 16At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people — you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one. You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes. They say that travel broadens ... Читать далее...
4. Purchasing new brainsA mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate. ... Читать далее...
5. Collection 07I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department — by a pair of handcuffs. Hello — tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean — you make me sick. You should have been born in the ... Читать далее...
6. Collection 12What’s the latest dope — besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture. You don’t believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself. When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you ... Читать далее...
7. Collection 01If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people’s hair. ... Читать далее...
8. Collection 11You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant. You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough. If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid. I know you are nobody’s fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. You were the answer ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова aliveAlive — живой, в живых Перевод слова To drop alive — ожить to keep hope alive — сохранять надежду look alive! — живей!, пошевеливайся! You are lucky to be Alive. Тебе повезло, что ты остался жив. We need to keep hope Alive. Мы должны сохранить надежду. Apparently he’s Alive and well and living in Brazil. ... Читать далее...
10. Collection 10Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex — and it’s fully justified. You are not as bad as people say — you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon? ... Читать далее...
11. The cost of a brainA man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. «How much does it cost for engineer brain?» «Three dollars an ... Читать далее...
12. Collection 02Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that’s the best friend you can get. I don’t think you are a fool. But then, what’s my own humble opinion against thousands of others? Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how ... Читать далее...
13. Adding Condiments to FoodOrlando: Hand me that Worcestershire sauce. Janine: Here. You’re not putting that on your Burger, are you? Orlando: No, I’m using it for my Hot dog. Janine: Wait. You’ve put Ketchup, Mustard, Mayonnaise, and Barbecue sauce on your burger, and now you’re going to put Worcestershire sauce on your hot dog? Orlando: Sure, you’ve got ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова brainBrain — мозг Перевод слова Brain damage — повреждение мозга brain disorder — расстройство умственной деятельности engineering brain — технический склад ума My Brain was in a buzz. Мои мозги гудели. I am not a Brain as you well know. Как ты знаешь, я не слишком способный. Alcohol fogs his Brain. Алкоголь затуманивает его мозги....
15. Collection 14I’ve hated your looks from the stare they gave me. Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more! Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn’t turn out. You could be seen too clearly. So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; ... Читать далее...
16. A large differenceA man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, «Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out ... Читать далее...
17. Collection 06We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!! We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, «Do not come home and all will be forgiven». You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure. I ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы come alive[come alive] or [come to life] {v.} 1. {informal} To become alert or attentive; wake up and look alive; become active. When Mr. Simmons mentioned money, the boys came alive. Bob pushed the starter button, and the engine came alive with a roar. 2. To look real; take on a bright, natural look. Under skillful ... Читать далее...
19. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы boil down[boil down] {v.} 1. To boil away some of the water from; make less by boiling. She boiled down the maple sap to a thick syrup. The fruit juice boiled down until it was almost not good for jelly. 2. To reduce the length of; cut down; shorten. The reporter boiled the story down to ... Читать далее...
21. Collection 05Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It’s your life — but I wish you’d let us have it. Hey, act your age — senile! I’ve had many cases of love that ... Читать далее...
22. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова doubtDoubt — сомневаться, быть неуверенным Перевод слова To cast doubt on — ставить под сомнение to express a doubt — выражать сомнения to make doubt — сомневаться beyond any doubt — вне всякого сомнения Have no Doubt. Можете не сомневаться. Kim never Doubted his story. Ким никогда не сомневался в его истории. I Doubt we’ll ... Читать далее...
24. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th AvenueThis 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above «You will live to be 100.» She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard «You will live to be 100.» Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова respectRespect — уважение, уважать, почитать Перевод слова To respect oneself — уважать себя to respect persons — быть лицеприятным to respect the law — уважать закон worthy of respect — достойный уважения With all due Respect, I disagree. При всем должном уважении, я не согласен. We should Respect the environment. Мы должны беречь окружающую среду. ... Читать далее...
26. Buffalo analogyA herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps ... Читать далее...
27. Clean Ireland HumorAn English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы no doubt[no doubt] {adv.} 1. Without doubt; doubtless; surely; certainly. No doubt Susan was the smartest girl in her class. 2. Probably. John will no doubt telephone us if he comes to town....
29. Моя коллекция/ My CollectionНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Collection Моя коллекция Hobbies in most people’s lives occupy important place. In this case I’m not an exception. My hobby from the very early age is collecting stamps and coins from different countries. Most of the samples were given to me by my father who in his ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы alive with[alive with] {prep.}, {informal} Crowded with; filled with. The lake was alive with fish. The stores were alive with people the Saturday before Christmas....
31. Значение идиомы rack one’s brain[rack one’s brain] {v. phr.} To try your best to think; make agreat mental effort; especially: to try to remember something you haveknown. Bob racked his brain trying to remember where he left thebook. Susan racked her brain trying to guess whom the valentinecame from. John racked his brain during the test trying to solvethe ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы in respect to[in respect to] or [with respect to] In connection with; relatedto, about; on. The teacher told stories about Washington andLincoln in respect to the importance of being honest. In respectto your visit with us, we hope you can come before September. There was no shortage in respect to food. Compare: AS TO, INREFERENCE TO, IN ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы skin alive[skin alive] {v. phr.} 1. {informal} To scold angrily. Motherwill skin you alive when she sees your torn pants. 2. {informal} Tospank or beat. Dad was ready to skin us alive when he found we hadruined his saw. 3. {slang} To defeat. We all did our best, but thevisiting gymnastic team skinned us alive....
34. My friend is dead!Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: ... Читать далее...
35. Collection 13We know that you would give your life for us. Promise! When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity. Well, I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much. Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach. ... Читать далее...
36. Collection 09ClassYou must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us. You are master in your own house — the doghouse! When you die, I’d like ... Читать далее...
37. Collection 15If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You’re nobody’s fool. Let’s see if we can get someone to adopt ... Читать далее...
38. The ages of manGod created the mule, and told him, ‘you will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: ‘To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more ... Читать далее...
39. Canadians love to say’sorry’ so much, we had to make this lawThere’s nothing quite like the classic Canadian apology. You won’t find people in any other country in the world who will say the word «sorry» to someone who is clearly in the wrong. This is a uniquely Canadian phenomenon. So unique, in fact, that the term carries legal weight in the province of Ontario. The ... Читать далее...
40. A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimedA psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, «I heard you died.» «But you see I’m alive,» smiled the friend. «Impossible,» said the psychiatrist. «The man who told me is much more reliable than you.»...