Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party

Related topics:

1. One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also […]...
2. After the party, as the couple was driving home After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?” The flattered husband said, “No, dear they haven’t.” The wife yells, “Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?”...
3. Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him. “Billy,” said his dad, “doing that will make […]...
4. On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he […]...
5. Don’t do while driving We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also […]...
6. Three mice are sitting in a bar talking Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]...
7. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
8. Driving home very drunk It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before […]...
9. A guy was driving home one evening A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and […]...
10. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
11. Getting Home Late from School Dad: Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? Caitlin: I’m sorry, Dad. I Lost track of time. Dad: Lost track of time? We’ve been Worried sick about you. You were Supposed to come Straight home after school. Caitlin: I know, but Janet was showing me something in her Locker when a […]...
12. Billy Gates writes Santa Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business. Actually, I admire the way you […]...
13. Do this while driving Strange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below “things to do while driving”, as all driving should be taken seriously. The below “things to do while driving” are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows […]...
14. Homework One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At least he’s learning something usefull.” Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy’s mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. […]...
15. A wild party Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace […]...
16. Driving school test The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop […]...
17. California Driving Test Answers The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right […]...
18. Driving While Calling and Texting Pamela: [laughs] Did you see this Tweet from Sarah? She’s so funny. Josh: Hold on. I’m Texting Lance. I want to make sure he knows where we’re Meeting up. Pamela: [cell phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi Lance. Did you get Josh’s text? You didn’t? Let me IM you, bye. Josh: I wonder why Lance didn’t […]...
19. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
20. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, “So how has life been treating you?” The old man replies,”The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when […]...
21. A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. […]...
22. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
23. State of Arkansas Residency Application State of Arkansas Residency Application Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister […]...
24. Driving a Company Car Michael: Shall we? Robin: Oh, this is nice. Did you get a new car? Michael: No, this is a Company car. Getting to drive one is one of the Perks of my new job. Robin: Does your new position Call for a lot of driving? Michael: It does. As the Regional supervisor, I have To […]...
25. Having a Wild Party Paula: Okay, let’s get this party started! Mitch: I really don’t think having a party is such a good idea. We’re supposed to be House-sitting, and I’m sure the Abrams wouldn’t want their house used for a big Blowout. Paula: Ignorance is bliss. They’ll never know. Stop being such a Goody two-shoes and help me […]...
26. Значение идиомы light [light] See: BRING TO LIGHT, COME TO LIGHT, DASH LIGHT, HIDE ONE’SLIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL, IN THE LIGHT OF, MAKE LIGHT OF, MANY HANDS MAKELIGHT WORK, OUT LIKE A LIGHT, SEE THE LIGHT, TRAVEL LIGHT....
27. Перевод сленгового выражения give a damn (about someone or something), значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: give a damn (about someone or something) Перевод: проявлять интерес, беспокоиться, волноваться (часто используется в отрицательном значении – Not give a damn, также отрицательное значение выражению могут придать глаголы Could и Might) Синоним: give a shit; give a rat’s ass Пример: He thinks that people give a damn about this matter, but that’s […]...
28. Перевод слова green Green – зеленый; свежий, молодой Перевод слова Acid green – ярко-зеленый enjoying a green old age – все еще бодрый, несмотря на годы the green years – юные годы My bedroom carpet is Green. Ковер в моей спальне зеленого цвета. The bananas are still Green. Бананы еще не созрели. Do you see any Green in […]...
29. One day an older fella was in for a checkup One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. “Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!” “Did I say I was 64?” “Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?” “Damn […]...
30. Showing Off a New Purchase Monica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My […]...
31. Going to a Home Improvement Store Paige: I think we can get everything we need To fix up the house in one trip. What do you think? Vern: We can try. It seems like everybody had the same thought when they woke up this morning: Go to the Home improvement store! Paige: Yeah, it’s a little crowded, but I still think […]...
32. Life as a thing Life is so interesting thing…. when i was 3 years i always ask her play game with me. i was so small and also i was sweat. Now i am 13 years old, i really grow up.. at the moment i am studying chinese in China. I have a dream be with my mother very […]...
33. Going to a Home Improvement Store Paige: I think we can get everything we need To fix up the house in one trip. What do you think? Vern: We can try. It seems like everybody had the same thought when they woke up this morning: Go to the Home improvement store! Paige: Yeah, it’s a little crowded, but I still think […]...
34. Showing Off a New Purchase Monica: Wow, Check you out! When did you buy a new car? Kevin: This isn’t just any new car. It’s a Ferrari. Monica: I can see that. It must have Set you back a few. Kevin: Yeah, but it was Worth it. You should see the looks I get riding around in this Baby. My […]...
35. Naming your child There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was […]...
36. Democrats on the front porch This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, “Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.” “What?” the operator exclaimed. “I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; […]...
37. There is no place like home The charms and pleasures of domestic life are known to everyone. Just go out to another town to see your relative, and there you will be secretly pining for your home, sweet home. You will remember the delightful evenings you passed around the fireside. It will be delightful to recall the scene of your father […]...
38. Значение идиомы jump down one’s throat [jump down one’s throat] {v. phr.} To suddenly become very angry atsomeone; scold severely or angrily. The teacher jumped down Billy’sthroat when Billy said he did not do his homework....
39. Перевод слова suppose Suppose – полагать, предполагать, допускать Перевод слова I supposed him to be here – я полагаю, что он здесь he is supposed to be a rich man – его считают богатым человеком let us suppose that this is true – допустим, что это так We Suppose that the situation will improve. Мы полагаем, что ситуация […]...
40. Surfing the Internet Isaiah: Aren’t you supposed to be working? Nancy: I just thought I would take a break and Surf the web a little. Isaiah: You’d better be careful which sites you visit. You know that Big Brother is watching. Nancy: The boss told us that, but I don’t believe it. They’re not going to care if […]...