Be politically correct

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1. Politically Correct Santa‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck… How to live in a world that’s politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to «Elves», «Vertically Challenged» they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, ... Читать далее...
2. Politically correct seasons greetingsPOLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemisphere summer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for ... Читать далее...
3. The Twelve Politically-Correct Days of ChristmasHe Twelve Politically-Correct Days of Christmas On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my acquaintance-rape survivor gave to me, TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in ... Читать далее...
4. Politically Correct Feminine TerminologyFrom aperreat@saunix. sau. edu: Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you would offend the person standing near you?…NOT. Well, if you are, then here are some alternatives to some popular phrases. I found them on a poster, but I don’t remember which one. She is not: An airhead ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова correctCorrect — правильный, верный; исправлять, корректировать Перевод слова To correct the coordinates — уточнять координаты to correct for — вводить поправку на to correct an error — устранять, исправлять ошибку Bosh! It’s all Correct. Вздор! Все верно! If I remember Correctly, he’s Spanish. Если я правильно помню, он говорит по-испански. The prediction proved Correct. Предсказание ... Читать далее...
6. Is that your horseThe Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, «Who owns the big white horse outside?» The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, «I do. Why?» The cowboy looked at the ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова storageStorage — склад, хранилище, накопитель Перевод слова Storage capacity — вместимость хранилища damage in storage — повреждение при хранении storage facilities — склады We couldn’t afford to pay the Storage. Мы не могли позволить себе платить за хранение. The company has 1000 square meters of Storage. Компания располагает 1000 квадратными метрами складской площади. We’ll have ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова grainGrain — зерно, крупица Перевод слова The advanced price of grain — увеличенная цена на зерновые to grow grain — выращивать зерно grains of gold — крупинки золота not a grain of truth — ни крупицы истины Grain is shipped by water. Зерно перевозят водным транспортом. The Grain had spilled onto the road. Зерно просыпалось ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы against the grain[against the grain] {adv. phr.} 1. Across rather than with the direction of the fibers. He sandpapered the wood against the grain. 2. So as to annoy or trouble, or to cause anger or dislike. — Usually follows «go». His coarse and rude ways went against the grain with me. It went against the grain ... Читать далее...
10. The Importance Of Correct PunctuationThe Importance Of «Correct Punctuation» Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I ... Читать далее...
11. Controlling your spouseThere were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, «Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your ... Читать далее...
12. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
13. The wife is not speaking to me 1A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, «All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!» A sudden silence descends. After a moment he asks «Anyone got a problem with that?» The silence lengthens. He ... Читать далее...
14. The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding downThe Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. «Buffalo come,» remarked Tonto. «How can you tell, Tonto?» asked the Lone Ranger. «Face sticky.»...
15. Перевод слова facilityFacility — благоприятные условия; способность, умение, подвижность; оборудование Перевод слова The facility of the task — несложность задачи to have great facility in learning languages — иметь хорошие способности к языкам facilities for research — благоприятные условия для исследований athletic facilities — спортивные сооружения She has an amazing Facility for languages. Ей удивительно легко даются ... Читать далее...
16. Speak more preciselyTwo young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. «My sergeants are wonderful», said one soldier. «I wish I could say the same about mine,» said the other. «You could if you could lie as I do.» — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова liquidLiquid — жидкость, жидкий, текучий Перевод слова Liquid body — жидкое вещество clear liquid — прозрачная жидкость liquid melody — плавная мелодия Water and milk are Liquids. Вода и молоко — жидкости. Pour the surplus of this Liquid immediately away. Немедленно вылей остаток этой жидкости. A substance passes from the solid to the Liquid state. ... Читать далее...
18. IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARSMen, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims ... Читать далее...
19. Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, oneThree guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова beerBeer — пиво Перевод слова Ginger beer — имбирное пиво to brew beer — варить пиво beer bust — пивное сборище I’d like a Beer now! Мне бы пива сейчас! He drank a jar of Beer. Он выпил банку пива. I’ll have a Beer, please. Мне пива, пожалуйста....
21. SufferingA young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, «My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.» The counselor turns to her husband and inquires «Is that true?» The husband replies «Well not exactly, she’s the one that suffers, not me.»...
22. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding throughThe Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of ... Читать далее...
23. The only wishTwo guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the ... Читать далее...
24. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they wereThree guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and ... Читать далее...
25. High military ranksWhen little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough. «That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,» his friends said. So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth. «Show me ... Читать далее...
26. Three guys were sitting in a bar talkingThree guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; «You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
28. The talking dogA man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. «This is a talking dog,» he said. «And you can have him for five dollars.» The neighbour said, «Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.» Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. «Please ... Читать далее...
29. After years of psychotherapyAfter years of psychotherapy, John no longer believes he is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and a friend came across a chicken, and John was terrified. «Why are you so afraid, you’re not a grain of wheat after all,» his friend asked. John replied, «You know it and I know it, but ... Читать далее...
30. Describing Speed and PaceChiu: Come on, Slowpoke, Hurry up! We’ll never get to the top of the hill if you don’t Get a move on. Sarah: There’s no way you’re going to get me to move at Breakneck speed. I’ve gone up at least 500 steps already, and my legs are about to fall off. Tell me again ... Читать далее...
31. A regular Friday night poker gameA regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report. «Roger, listen,» he told the host, «Walter’s in the kitchen making love to your wife.» «OK, that’s it, guys,» Roger said. «This is positively the last deal.»...
32. An Overview Guide to Leather GradesIn the world of heritage/reproduction products with a focus on quality and sustainability, leather is right up there as one of the most commonly seen materials. Brands like Tanner Goods and Corter Leather champion hand-made goods that should last years and years. However, anyone looking to buy should be aware of what they’re paying for ... Читать далее...
33. Buffalo analogyA herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps ... Читать далее...
34. Why Samuel Adams supports its competitorsJim Koch is chairman of Boston Beer, a pioneer of the craft-beer movement and brewer of Samuel Adams. The business, which Koch founded in 1984, had $739 million in revenue last year. Since 2008, Boston Beer has given out more than $3 million in microloans to craft brewers and other small businesses in the food, ... Читать далее...
35. US Armed ForcesИз топика Вооруженные силы США вы узнаете о структуре американской армии, как государство обеспечивает своих военнослужащих, почему женщины стремятся наравне с мужчинами пройти военную службу и чем так привлекательна служба в армии для граждан США. The Armed Forces of the USA include the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard. The regular components ... Читать далее...
36. Johnny Depp: Why I Travel With My Captain Jack Sparrow CostumeWe’ve heard about Johnny Depp visiting children’s hospitals dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, but who knew he actually has the Pirates of the Caribbean costume with him at all times? «Sometimes you go to kiddie hospitals and things like that,» the actor explained while promoting his latest flick, The Lone Ranger. «I’ll just sneak in ... Читать далее...
37. Safe sexA teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, «Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы liquid assets[liquid assets] {n. phr.} Those belongings that can be easilyconverted into cash. Herb asked for a loan and the bank managertold him to bring in proof of all his liquid assets....
39. Перевод идиомы take something with a pinch of salt / take something with a grain of salt, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: take something with a pinch of salt / take something with a grain of salt Перевод: отнестись к чему-либо с недоверием, с сомнением Пример: You can take everything that our teacher says with a grain of salt. Ко всему, что говорит наш учитель, можно относиться с сомнением....
40. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...