Bassoon

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1. How many women with PMS does it take to Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this […]...
2. Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the […]...
3. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder....
4. Перевод слова bulb Bulb – луковица, электрическая лампочка Перевод слова Bulb of the hair – луковица волос bulb of eye – глазное яблоко frosted bulb – матовая лампочка The Bulb’s gone in the bathroom. В ванной перегорела лампочка. A light Bulb dangled from the ceiling. С потолка свисала электрическая лампочка. I’m not very practical – I can’t even […]...
5. Musician Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!” Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach […]...
6. Tuba Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who’s driving? A: The policeman Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. Q: […]...
7. Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don’t emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass […]...
8. Saxophone Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It’s all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the […]...
9. Bagpipes Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) – I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic […]...
10. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one – but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does […]...
11. Перевод слова screw Screw – шуруп, винт, гайка; завинчивать Перевод слова To screw on the cap – навинчивать крышку to ease off screw – ослаблять винт adjustable screw-wrench – раздвижной гаечный ключ The lid Screws onto the jar. Эта крышка навинчивается на банку. Screw the lid on clockwise. Закрутите крышку по часовой стрелке. Try and undo the Screw […]...
12. There was this little boy who went in the whore house There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the boy said “please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i have money thats […]...
13. Значение идиомы have a screw loose [have a screw loose] {v. phr,}, {slang} To act in a strange way; tobe foolish. Now I know he has a screw loose – he stole a police carthis time. He was a smart man but had a screw loose and peoplethought him odd....
14. The Cesium song 05 Cesium (Burning in the Dead of Night) (Tune, Blackbird) Cesium burning in the dead of night. Take your sky blue lines and start to shine. All my life, I was only waiting for the moment you were mine. Cesium burning on a lake of ice. Lift your glorious flame up to the skies. All your […]...
15. Like to screw? It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?,” he says. “That’s cool” says Bobby. Carrie’s […]...
16. Перевод слова insist Insist – настаивать Перевод слова Insist on innocence – настаивать на своей невиновности insist on rights – отстаивать свои права insist on unrealistic demands – выполнить требования She kept Insisting on her innocence. Она продолжала настаивать на своей невиновности. Mike Insisted that he was right. Майк настоял на том, что он был прав. His friends […]...
17. Guitar Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: […]...
18. Buying a Men’s Suit Sales clerk: Good afternoon. What can I help you find? Bo: I’m looking for a Suit for work. Sales clerk: I’m sure we have something for you. Are you looking for a traditional or Contemporary suit? Bo: I’m not sure. I’d like To try on some different ones. Sales clerk: That’s no problem. Let me […]...
19. French horn Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do […]...
20. A man was driving through West Virginia A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?” […]...
21. Значение идиомы screw around [screw around] {v. phr.}, {vulgar}, {avoidable} To hang around idlywithout accomplishing anything, to loaf about, to beat or hack around. You guys are no longer welcome here; all you do is screw around allday....
22. Attempts by the dumb SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN – August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) – Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled […]...
23. Биография Томаса Эдисона на английском языке. Biography of Thomas Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1,000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph, the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb in 1879, […]...
24. Значение идиомы light [light] See: BRING TO LIGHT, COME TO LIGHT, DASH LIGHT, HIDE ONE’SLIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL, IN THE LIGHT OF, MAKE LIGHT OF, MANY HANDS MAKELIGHT WORK, OUT LIKE A LIGHT, SEE THE LIGHT, TRAVEL LIGHT....
25. Thomas Alva Edison Most people know that Thomas Edison invented the first working light bulb, but they don’t know anything else about him. Edison had almost no formal schooling, yet he invented over 1000 different things. Among Edison’s inventions are: the phonograph (record player), the movie camera and the movie projector. Thomas Edison invented his electric light bulb […]...
26. Значение идиомы burn a hole in one’s pocket [burn a hole in one’s pocket] {v. phr.} To make you want to buy something; be likely to be quickly spent. Money burns a hole in Linda’s pocket. The silver dollar that Don got for his birthday was burning a hole in his pocket, and Don hurried to a dime store....
27. Robert Burns Robert Burns is the national poet of Scotland. In his poems Burns sang the beauty and the glory of his native land. Burns was born in Alloway, near Ayr, on 25 of January 1759. His father, a small farmer, was a hard-working man. When Robert was 6, he was sent to a school at Alloway […]...
28. Перевод слова situation Situation – обстановка, ситуация, положение Перевод слова Mistress of the situation – хозяйка положения nervous situation – тревожная ситуация delicate situation – щекотливое положение It was a very nervous Situation. Обстановка была очень нервной. They got into a dodgy Situation. Они попали в довольно щекотливую ситуацию. I was unfamiliar with the Situation. Я был не […]...
29. English horn Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good English horn player? A: I’ll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb? […]...
30. Перевод слова suit Suit – костюм, набор; подходить, устраивать Перевод слова Business suit – костюм для службы, деловой костюм suit of sails – комплект парусов this suits me best – это меня устраивает больше всего they are suited to each other – они подходят друг другу Red Suits you. Красный вам к лицу. That Suits me fine. Это […]...
31. Значение идиомы pan out [pan out] {v.}, {informal} To have a result, especially a goodresult; result favorably; succeed. Suppose the class tried to makemoney by selling candy. How would that pan out? Edison’s effortsto invent an electric light bulb did not pan out until he usedtungsten wires....
32. Значение идиомы screw up one’s courage [screw up one’s courage] or [pluck up one’s courage] {v. phr.} Toforce yourself to be brave. The small boy screwed up his courageand went upstairs in the dark. When his father came home in a badmood, it took Pete some time to screw up his courage and ask him for adollar. Compare: WHISTLE IN THE […]...
33. Перевод сленгового выражения have a screw loose, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: have a screw loose Перевод: быть немного невменяемым, сумасшедшим, вести себя ненормально Синоним: off the wall Пример: Paul has had a screw loose ever since his girlfriend left him. С тех пор, как Пола бросила его девушка, он ведет себя не совсем нормально....
34. Значение идиомы go out [go out] {v. phr.} 1. To pass out of date or style. Short skirtsare gradually going out. 2. To stop giving off light or burning. Put more wood on the fire or it will go out. 3. To leave. When Icalled Sue, her mother said that she had just gone out....
35. Фразовый глагол light up (1) – перевод и значение, пример использования Фразовый глагол: light up (1) Перевод: осветить Пример: Let’s get some candles to light this room up. Давай поставим свечки, чтобы осветить эту комнату....
36. Перевод слова light Light – свет, освещать, зажигать; легкий Перевод слова Brilliant light – очень яркий свет light shoes – легкие туфли light of foot – проворный, быстроногий to light up a cigar – зажечь сигару The sun gives Light. Солнце – источник света. She Lit a candle. Она зажгла свечу. Light flickers. Свет мерцает. Интересные факты Слово […]...
37. Trumpet Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, “I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist […]...
38. Значение идиомы at once [at once] {adv. phr.} 1. Without delay; right now or right then; immediately. Put a burning match next to a piece of paper and it will begin burning at once. Mother called the children to lunch, and Paul came at once, but Brenda stayed in the sand pile a little longer. Syn.: RIGHT AWAY or […]...
39. Chem one-liners 02 Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. “A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.” Isaac Asimov said that if you want to […]...
40. Technology problems One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly […]...