Army needs new recruits

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1. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
2. Перевод слова army Army – армия Перевод слова Army brass – командующий армией to organize an army – создать армию to raise an army – собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now – семнадцатый […]...
3. The Army Airborne major was used to harassment The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'” the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, “because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in […]...
4. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, “Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?” The hooker replied, “Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s “really” […]...
5. What is intelligence Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole […]...
6. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over there? Kill him!” Without […]...
7. Two Italian construction workers Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other “hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the […]...
8. During an Army war game During an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.” The C. […]...
9. How Army policy began This is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes […]...
10. Cable and Satellite TV Marion: I’m trying to decide whether to get Cable or Satellite TV. Which one do you have at your apartment? Cesar: I have satellite, but I used to have cable. Marion: What’s the difference? Cesar: Not a lot. With satellite, you have to have a Satellite dish installed on the roof and you don’t with […]...
11. Перевод слова television Television – телевидение, телевизор Перевод слова Colour television – цветное телевидение debut on television – дебют на телевидении to watch television – смотреть телевизор I saw her on Television. Я видел ее по телевизору. The Television went phut. Телевизор сломался. Television is a mass medium. Телевидение – средство массовой информации....
12. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000 During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko “Sleeping Dragon” Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town […]...
13. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, “But you just got a new pair last month!” “Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,” stammered the private. “Accident, what kind of an accident?” […]...
14. Where are we going An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. “Aaah!” he said. “We’re right over my homeland.” “How can you tell?” asked the American. “I can feel the cold air.” he replied. […]...
15. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
16. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. “So, did you […]...
17. Перевод слова satellite Satellite – спутник Перевод слова Communication satellite – спутник связи satellite dish – спутниковая антенна to place a satellite in orbit – запустить спутник на орбиту The Satellite orbited the Earth several times. Спутник несколько раз обогнул Землю по орбите. The Satellite had burned up on re-entering the atmosphere. Спутник сгорел при прохождении через атмосферу. […]...
18. Перевод слова intelligence Intelligence – интеллект, ум, умственные способности Перевод слова A man of no small intelligence – очень неглупый человек a high order of intelligence – высокий интеллект intelligence test – проверка умственных способностей outstanding intelligence – выдающийся ум It is difficult to quantify Intelligence. Трудно измерить уровень интеллекта. Dolphins show a high level of Intelligence. Дельфины […]...
19. The company sergent is briefing the recruits The company sergent is briefing the recruits: “For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that makes you…”...
20. US Armed Forces Из топика Вооруженные силы США вы узнаете о структуре американской армии, как государство обеспечивает своих военнослужащих, почему женщины стремятся наравне с мужчинами пройти военную службу и чем так привлекательна служба в армии для граждан США. The Armed Forces of the USA include the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard. The regular components […]...
21. Перевод слова watch Watch – часы; смотреть, наблюдать Перевод слова Chatelaine watch – часы на цепочке designer watch – модные часы to watch television – смотреть телевизор to watch a game – смотреть игру She glanced nervously at her Watch. Она нервно взглянула на свои часы. They Watched as the murderer was executed. Они смотрели как казнили убийцу. […]...
22. A man was leaving church one day A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” The man replied, “I’m […]...
23. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Mexican guy replies, “Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands”...
24. Значение идиомы watch one’s language [watch one’s language] {v. phr.} To be careful of how one speaks;avoid saying impolite or vulgar things. “You boys watch yourlanguage,” Mother said, “or you won’t be watching television for awhole week!”...
25. Army fitness report British Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”…. – His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. – I would not breed from this Officer. […]...
26. Burger conversations M. I. T.: “I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Caltech: “I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.” “Have some fries.” Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.” “Have some fries.” Brown: “I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.” “Cool! Me too! Have some fries.” Swarthmore: “I […]...
27. Grenade hero awarded George Cross L/Cpl Matthew Croucher with his backpack, torn by the grenade A Royal Marine who threw himself on a grenade to save his comrades’ lives is to receive the George Cross. Lance Corporal Matthew Croucher, 24, from Solihull, in the West Midlands triggered a trip wire in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, in February. He immediately dropped to […]...
28. Performance evaluation translations A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job. Active socially: Drinks heavily. Alert to company developments: An office gossip. Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job. Average: Not too bright. Bridge builder: Likes to compromise. Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the […]...
29. Значение идиомы hand [hand] See: AT HAND, BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH, BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ONE, CLEAN HANDS, DIRTY ONE’S HANDS, EAT OUTOF ONE’S HAND, FORCE ONE’S HAND, FREE HAND, FROM HAND TO HAND, GLADHAND, HAM-HANDED, HANG HEAVY or HANG HEAVY ON ONE’S HANDS, HAT INHAND, HAVE A HAND IN, HAVE […]...
30. Значение идиомы hand in hand [hand in hand] {adv. phr.} 1. Holding hands. Bob and Mary walkedalong hand in hand in the park. Compare: ARM IN ARM. 2. Accompanyingeach other; together; closely connected. – Used with “go”. Ignorance and poverty often go hand in hand. Selfishness andunhappiness often go hand in hand....
31. Convince these students An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: “Why you throw […]...
32. Describing Duration Kathryn: Are you still watching that movie? It’s been over three hours! Martin: Yeah, it’s a little long for a Feature film. Kathryn: A little long?! It’s Interminable. How can you continue to watch it? Martin: Well, the first half was interesting and Moved at a clip. The middle section did Drag a little, but […]...
33. A man was being interviewed for a job A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer. “Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?” “I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.” “May I ask what happened?” “Well, I had a grenade go off […]...
34. Watching and playing sport Топик Зритель или спортсмен призывает всех не оставаться просто зрителями, просто наблюдателями за всевозможными спортивными играми, которые так приятно смотреть по ТВ, а самому активно заниматься спортом. Регулярные занятия спортом сделают человека здоровее, счастливее и привлекательнее. Nowadays, sport is an important thing in the people’s life. Some people prefer to watch different sports events, others […]...
35. The Presidential watches A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called “the George Bush Watch” and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says – “you are suppose to read his lips”. He then looks at a watch called the “Ross Perot Watch” […]...
36. Piano Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller? A: A flat major. Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her […]...
37. George Clooney Uses Nespresso Money for Satellite to Spy on Sudan Dictator George Clooney is a well-known activist, but this takes things to the next level. At a Nespresso event in Paris on Wednesday, the Oscar winner revealed the curious way he spends the money he earns from starring in the coffee commercials. “Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a […]...
38. Значение идиомы in hand [in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your […]...
39. My Daily Program (2) A typical day goes something like this. We get up around 6 a. m., wash, have some coffee and toasts, feed the dog and let him outside, bring the dog back in and leave for work. I drop Martha off at her job around 7:15 a. m. and then I drive to the University (from […]...
40. Television in Russia and in Britain Топик Телевидение в России и в Великобритании – рассказывает и сравнивает две системы телевещания. В обеих странах существует несколько основных каналов, несколько коммерческих или независимых каналов и местное телевидение. Российское телевидение транслирует разнообразные программы: международные, национальные и местные новости, легкие развлекательные, спортивные, политические дебаты, драматические постановки и концерты. Большое внимание уделяется зарубежным фильмам, в частности, […]...